Won't Give Up the iPhone and Accusing Everyone of Stealing

celenaq

Hi everyone! My grandmother (73) has been diagnosed with middle to late stage Alz. Her body is very capable, except for her memory. She lives in an AL residence currently but is still holding onto her iPhone and she refuses to give it up. 

However, she constantly calling people multiple times or even calling in the middle of the night. At least once a week when she has her mind resets, she will make about 50-100 calls in one evening. She doesn't remember how to text or use it for her alarm anymore.

She does not have object permanence anymore either (definition: understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen, heard or otherwise sensed) and if she puts her phone in the drawer or under something, she thinks someone has stolen it and she starts panicking and wakes up all her neighbors at the AL home. 

Long story short, I want to try and replace her iPhone with either an Alz phone or a "home" phone. 

When she's fatigued, she moves things without remembering so she is constantly losing the charger to her iPhone (and accusing someone of stealing it) so we don't want to worry about a charger if possible, but she also won't be able to dial numbers for a home phone. Does anyone have any suggestions or products that they have found to work as a phone to communicate? We still visit a few times a week, but she calls us multiple times a day when she forgets where she is. 

THANK YOU FOR ANY HELP!!! XO  

Emily 123

Hi,

Isn’t the root problem that’s driving the calls her disorientation?  She sounds like she’s quite anxious all the time, as she feels lost, and this seems to be occurring frequently.  I think you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg with these calls.  She might do better within the more supportive and narrower environment of MC.  Less options are actually easier for the person with AD to handle. Something to think about. It can’t be comfortable for her to feel lost so much. 

   Think about if she’s still at a point where she can adapt to a new piece of technology.  If you think that she can adapt to something new, the the phones with the picture buttons wil allow her to autocall. You can get them on Amazon. That might be an uphill battle, as she’s using her iPhone as a security blanket.

Have read good things here about the amazon echo show, which would let you go live-screen to  talk with her, but would question if your g’mom would be able to retain how to use it as it would be completely new to her.  

King Boo

There comes a time when a phone is just a portal for more stress and anxiety for the PWD, and it no longer serves a productive function.  This applies whether it is a mobile or landline phone.

WWID?  Disconnect her cell phone from service.  When the phone is out of sight, it could continue to be a fixation for her or something else will probably take it's place.

Your grandmother's time is short in Assisted Living with these behaviors.  No facility will tolerate regular disruption to the sleep of it's residents.

It does sound, as is common with dementia, that her anxiety is starting to go through the roof.  Have her see an MD Geriatric Psychiatrist familiar with dementia; the appropriate anti anxiety  medication can make her quality of  life better, make her care better, and at least temporarily extend her time by a little bit in Assisted Living.

Meanwhile - - it's time to do the legwork to find Memory Care and a skilled nursing facility for the remainder of the journey.  This is best done way ahead of need.  Crisis decision making yields far fewer choices.

Good luck.

Janweiler

We had these same symptoms. We deleted all the numbers except immediate family members off the phone, that way she just called a couple of people. we ended up giving here a very very light dose of a sedative (prescription) in the evening to combat the "sundowner" effect. It is not perfect, but it has worked pretty well. so far.