Refusing Bathing in MC

MrsAnnabelLee

Hi Everyone, mom is now on a twice a week bathing schedule, and has done ok so far. However, this week, she refused both showers. I'm wondering how other MC's handle this. Is there a length of time they allow the resident to refuse, are they always allowed to refuse? I understand its a difficult dilemma for many residents, but it's also something that has to happen at some point, right?

jfkoc

Not an uncommon problem. I would have a "chat" to see what approach is being used.

Emily 123

I agree. Sometimes they don’t push it because of possible agitation, but at some point some tidying up needs to occur.  Talk w/ the MC. Maybe she’s just having an off week.

BassetHoundAnn

This is a pretty common problem. When I was caring for my mom I would beg and plead and beg and plead for days before getting her to agree to a bath or shower. When I moved her to memory care I had lots of conversations with the aids about the trouble they were having getting her to agree to a shower. Mom would actually be in tears refusing. Now they're doing sponge baths. Yesterday I walked into her room and could smell the heavy perfume of bath soap. My mom was complaining that the aids didn't do a good enough job of cleaning her. Go figure right. I offered to give her a proper shower but she refused and said "tomorrow maybe." They had washed her hair and she complained that they didn't do a good enough job (they most certainly did). But to humor her I rewashed her hair. Refusing baths is a common problem among dementia sufferers. No one knows why baths are so hard for people with dementia.

Dr. Natalie recently posted a Youtube video about it: When someone with dementia refuses to bath: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXO8peuarEs

Rescue mom

As said, it’s a common problem at MCs. The ones my mother was at  took a fairly relaxed attitude about it, except if/when incontinence caused a mess. But otherwise, they might let a resident skip a bath or two, rather than fight or upset. And really, those patients did nothing to get really dirty, so no daily or every other day needed. Twice weekly seems reasonable, and maybe longer on occasion to prevent upsets. (Again, barring incontinence). Lots of wipes used, sponge baths,  and dry shampoo. Usually it just took a couple extra days to hit the right “mood,” or have a different aide coax them through it.

I notice she was ok for a time, then not. Is the aide the same? Could there be something different now that alarms her?

BethMimi

I wish there was a solution for me.  My mother refuses and fights like a tiger.  Picture a grown man getting his glasses getting slapped off his face.  She is incontinent and needs to bathe at least every other day.  She won't let me wipe her either.  I can get her Depends changed once a day at least. I have been so patient and sensitive to her frame of mind for so long now I'm starting to feel resentment.  Pissed off would be a better phrase.  This is the only thing that is worrying me about her health and I have just thrown up my hands in surrender.  How do you force a grown 150 pound woman into the shower or bathtub?   

Sorry this is not helping you.  I just wanted to vent on the subject.  I'll keep following the replies and hopefully find a solution.