Mom is obsessed about money in memory care

BassetHoundAnn

Whenever I visit my mom in memory care she becomes fixated on me bringing her money. Each time I tell her I forgot and will bring it to her next time she erupts that I keep promising to bring her cash but I never do. I try to divert her, change the subject, but she keeps coming back to it. Why don't I bring her money? She's been getting incredibly upset about it lately. 

I ask her what she wants money for, because I pay her bills, she gets all her meals there. She really has no answer, she just wants a bunch of cash. I think it's a security thing. Sometimes she tells me she plans to buy a car or house.  

This obsession has been going on for about a year now. When she was living in assisted living I would give her $20-$30 every so often to placate her. It would disappear, she would hide it, who knows. I eventually decided to end the money bleed. Nowadays she's asking for larger amounts--$600--$3000, etc. 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can calm her down and divert her? 

M1

I wish I did Ann.  This is an obsession for my partner too.  Not cash, but finances in general.  Would play money work?  I imagine there might be some realistic-looking (but not counterfeit   quality) fakes out there if you look around.  Is there anywhere on the campus she could try to spend it and get in trouble?

M1

Ann you got me curious, so I looked--and yes of course, there's some pretty good-looking "prop money" available on Amazon.  It's just a thought.....

BassetHoundAnn

M1 wrote:

Ann you got me curious, so I looked--and yes of course, there's some pretty good-looking "prop money" available on Amazon.  It's just a thought.....

Yeah I saw that too. And it's not expensive either. Maybe I'll give that a shot. One drawback... At my mom's prior residence I'd give her a handful of bills at her insistence. She'd put it in her purse. Five minutes later she was once again demanding I give her money. I'd show her the money in her purse. Repeat. The next day I'd get a call from staff that she was insisting someone stole her money. So I'd drive over there and find all the money I'd given her in her purse. I'd show it to her. She would still insist that someone stole all her money and grew increasingly upset. Showing her the money did no good at calming her down.  Repeat. Repeat. 

JJ401

The memory care my MIL was in actually said do not give money to residents. There was absolutely no way for them to safeguard it. While they did their very best, mobile residents visit rooms and ‘shop’. 

The obsession is money right now. It will pass and there will be a new obsession. If she is saying that she wants it as she plans to buy a house or a car, would a bank statement work? It doesn’t have to be the actual one. You could use the format and logo of an actual statement and copy and paste in whatever details would satisfy her.

M1

Yeah doesn't sound like it would work then.....and I can't think that coins would be any better.  Odd, isn't it?  There's something about money that makes it an easy fixation.  True for many without dementia too!!!