Holidaze…

Josie in Podunk

…will be different here at Casa de Chaos.  

Himself no longer enjoys a houseful of folks and at 70 years old, we both could use the break since no one else seems to want nor feel the call to take over the role as Holiday Hosts.

Between the noise of the littles, his lack of hearing…and refusal to wear the aids…and lack of comprehension of too many conversations at once, he often takes himself outside to sit beneath the canopy out back…regularly falling asleep in his chair.  I don’t mind his going out there to find himself some peace.  But, I do feel badly for him that the gatherings no longer bring him pleasure.

So, I will send out a note telling them that we will instead hold a casual open house in the afternoons between Christmas Eve and New Years Day.  They can stop in as they wish and he will enjoy spending time with them in small, manageable groups.  

Our families will adjust and, quite frankly, probably find it less stressful during the holidays themselves as well.  We will still see our Littles and their parents and quite likely enjoy the visits all the more without competitions for attention. 

If this one goes well it may become the blueprint for future celebrations as well.

One thing for sure, dementia requires ingenuity in keeping our loved ones content.  And, since my goal is to do exactly that, I will be as creative as needs be.

sandwichone123

This sounds great. We're going to my Dad's house (86 and sharp as a tack). My dh can stay as long as he wants, and he and my son can leave when they're not having fun any more (usually about 10 minutes after he finishes eating. I like having the holiday meals at my house, but he feels like people are ignoring him after he retreats, so we're trying this.

Buggsroo

This Christmas, my family are meeting for dinner at a restaurant on Christmas Eve. I would not be able to go otherwise, I can’t leave my husband by himself for more than a few hours. My family usually would have a whole day get together culminating in dinner etc. My husband never liked these get together so was happy to stay at home. 

With Covid and the like, I haven’t seen my uncle, aunt, cousin and his wife for two years. This arrangement seems to suit everyone. 

Ed1937

My wife has always loved the holidays when the whole family gets together. Kids and all. So we're trying to do our best to get everyone together at our house for what might be the last time she can enjoy it, this Christmas. She is having more and more problems with communication, and might not be able to do well in some conversations. But she has good times when you couldn't tell there was a problem. So we're hoping for the best.

We have a large family, and I won't have to cook. One daughter is coming early to do most of the cooking here, and others will be bringing something as well. 

Farm Gal

Hi Lost,  I am doing basically the same thing that you will be doing.  Last year I told everyone they could drop by whenever they wanted to for the Christmas week but asked that one family at a time.  I will do the same thing this year but hoping to eliminate a lot of them coming to our home by delivering gifts ahead of Christmas day.  We love having all the kids with the 7 grands and 4 greats but it just isn't good anymore for us because it takes him several days to settle back down .  And I am just not up to handling anything extra of his behaviors.  

p.s.  Love the Casa de Chaos!  

LadyTexan

I ordered an already prepared Thanksgiving meal from the local grocery store. All I have to do is heat it up. I invited my parents to join us and no one else. Including DH there will be 4 of us. I will limit the event to an hour and a half, early afternoon.

Although I am a huge believer in expressing thanks and gratitude, I have never been fond of Thanksgiving. Even in my childhood, I recall not liking Thanksgiving. DH likes Thanksgiving so I will try to make it special for him.

Crushed

We got married in 1975.  My mother-in-law always liked my cooking and for that Thanksgiving I volunteered to roast a turkey and bring it over.  I was confident in my cooking but had forgotten the problem of transporting a large hot bird.  So when I pulled it out of the oven I wrapped it in aluminum foil and two old towels , made gravy and cleaned  the pan  Put wrapped turkey and towels  into the pan and drove over  (about 10 minutes)   By the time I got there the turkey had been rested, insulated, for an hour.  It was perfect.  

I will use the same technique this week.   

I have towels I use only for turkey transport.  I cut the corners off so I don't mistake them 

I have to say that nothing endears you to your mother-in -law like splitting the burden of holidays.
My wife the medical student was hopeless in the kitchen but usually arrived to help "watch the turkey cook"   or at least that's what we called it.

Traditions  

She is four years in memory care.  I will take her Turkey on Friday  

 
 

Iris L.

LadyTexan wrote:

I ordered an already prepared Thanksgiving meal from the local grocery store. All I have to do is heat it up. 

I ordered a full turkey dinner the first year I was married.  I thought it would be ready to eat, like a to-go order.  It needed two and a half  hours in the oven!  My guests were hungry and I was embarrassed!

Iris

Stuck in the middle

I used to cook those meals for 20+, put the leaves in the dining room table, all that.  I don't think I ever will again.  I miss those big parties, and much else that is gone with the wind.

The open house idea sounds great.  Happy Thanksgiving!