DH's falls are more frequent - it is exhausting for us both

LadyTexan

DH is falling more frequently. Specifically, he is falling 1-3 times per week. He fell on Friday and yesterday. I called the fire department for a lift assist yesterday because I was unable to get him up. DH states he is sore. The pain makes him cranky. I am giving him Tramadol for pain which I suspect may further impair his balance. My Dad is bringing a walker over today.

I have been hands-on in the water closet for almost a year now. I help DH walk from room to room, stand up, sit down. Yesterday was the most demanding day yet. He was cranky and sore. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. I have gotten little sleep the last two nights.

• I wish I could hire a cook and a very physically strong person to keep my husband righted and safe.
• I wish I could get 6 hours of solid sleep.
• I wish I would be more patient.
• I wish none of us were in this boat.

May we all have a better day today.

SSHarkey

I’m so sorry, Lady! I know you’re exhausted! And you’re dealing with his disability while being weakened by your own physical condition. Is it time to bring in a caretaker to assist? Or is that financially difficult? This all just stinks, doesn’t it. A loose, loose situation. My heart goes out to you here in Texas.

karwiy

My wish is I could be there to help you out with some of the items on your list. I am so sorry you're both going through this. My heart and prayers go out to you. Keep an eye out for the beauty for it's always somewhere.

Doityourselfer

You are dealing with exhausting tasks.  I hope the walker will help your husband.

Ed1937

Lady, I'm sorry this is happening. Is it possible that he has a UTI? The reason I ask is because when my wife had so much trouble with them, she did fall quite a lot. It might be worth your time to have him tested, with a culture. Best of luck to you. You have been through so much already.

June45

I am dealing with falls also and all the other things you mentioned. So far I have been able to coach my husband on getting up by getting on the floor with him. I do have a transport chair that I use at the dining table so that I can push him up to the table.  I should be using it more but it is hard to push on carpet. And I wish for everything on your list also, especially the more sleep; in my case I wish for more than 4-5 hours of solid sleep without interruption. The lack of sleep will be the reason I eventually place him.  Good luck on the walker; it is worth a try.  My husband simply can't figure it out. The last time my husband tried it was when we went to Walmart for his flu shot.  If I had not been beside him helping to guide it, he would have crashed in to everything, including cars, people and shelves in the store.

June45

P.S. re hiring a very "physically strong person"...I was thinking maybe a young Clint Eastwood type, like back when he did his westerns. 

M1

I'm so sorry LT.  From what you have said about his apraxia, I fear that he won't be able/won't remember to use the walker.  You do need someone with strong arms/shoulders/back.  I wonder if home health would be an option for at least some temporary help?  I wonder if he would still qualify given his fairly recent hospitalization, I'm not sure how long the eligibility lasts.  Just a thought....

abc123

Dear Lady, I’m very sorry to hear about the falls. I hope you can find a solution. I wish all caregivers could have the help of a strong young person! I just spent 5 days taking care of mom and I was wishing for that exact kind of help! We have to use a strap to help her sit up. Getting her changed and clean is time consuming and physically exhausting. The two of you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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Joydean

Hi lady, as with everyone else I wish you well! Sorry your husband is falling so much. Most of all I wish none of us had to go through this and I love ones were still the person they were! I pray God to be with you and each one of us and families.

DrinaJGB

Ugh!This is nearly a deal breaker as far as I can recall from our own experience.I can literally feel your pain.

 When my DH came home from 4 months in hospitals/ rehab he could not walk. It was a constant struggle to just get him on and off the toilet or in a chair, or out of bed.

  I found the use of a gait belt to be very helpful in trying to move him or getting him to stand. That being said, he had damage to the area of the brain for balance, and it was as struggle.He also suffered from a recurring ICU-acquired UTI/ bladder infection that was antibiotic resistant. He had neurogenic bladder and bowels from the brain damage from the encephaltis.

  He eventually became stronger but it took many months for him to regain some of his balance. He would often get himself on the floor but unable to get up again.

  That is when I really hurt my back. Be very careful of yourself when helping your DH. I am still having back problems from over 10 years ago from that one incident.

The lack of sleep and the incontinence on top of the ambulation/balance difficulties nearly did us both in. Even now in looking back I am amazed we got through it. I don't know if I could do it again.

LadyTexan

Thanks everyone.

My dad brought over two different walker models. The physical therapist is coming tomorrow and he can show us the ropes on how to properly use a walker. I understand the apraxia may prevent DH from using the walker safely.

I have an alert pendant for DH. I should probably wear it since I am always watching over him and helping him around.

I also bought some AZO strips. I will message the doc tomorrow.

Thanks again everyone. Its been a miserable couple of days.

-LT

Kibbee

Keeping DH from falling is my biggest challenge.  We initially tried walkers (old fashioned frame walker, and one with wheels) but he could not manage them.  His standing posture is leaning forward from the waist so there was always the fear that this would cause the frame walker to tip forward, or the the wheeled walker would simply scoot out in front of him.  So from there we tried a transport chair (4 small wheels) which did not work because it was hard to push, especially outdoors, and he could not self ambulate.  We then got a true wheelchair and it is working much better.  It is sturdy, works well indoors and outdoors, and he can propel himself via the large rear wheels.  Although I have to help him at times, I try to have him move himself around on his own as much as possible as it provides a form of exercise.

Regarding falls, I've learned that getting to him quickly is paramount.  If I get there right away he has strength and I can cue him through the steps of getting back on his feet.  (Our technique is I have him get on his hands and knees.  Then I place a small one foot high stool in front of him.  He gets his hands up on the footstool and once his upper body is supported he can get one leg up, then get a foot on the ground and then stand up.)  If he falls in the night though he doesn't call for help and by the time I find him he is worn out by lying there on his back and trying incorrectly to get up by simply pushing up on his elbows.  His falls are almost always related to toileting or trying to change his pants / underwear.  At this point I am sleeping downstairs on the sofa so I can hear him at night.  I also use the timer function on my phone to remind me to proactively have him use the urinal / toilet while I monitor for safety.  This is helping, and though getting up every two hours in the night is not so much fun, it's working better in terms of keeping him safe and dry.

abc123

LT, I hope he can and will use the walker. My mom did very well with a walker for a short time. Do you have a lift belt? It's a huge blessing for us. Maybe you can ask the PT about getting one and he can show you how to use it. Just an idea. Please be safe with your back.

Sending big hugs to Hap! My dogs were delighted to have me home last night. Hugs and kisses were flying everywhere! Some furniture got moved around during the homecoming celebration, they weigh close to 90 pounds each. I call them mini hippo's!