Is it Right Seek Reimbursement

bozowing

II have been my dad's primary caregiver since July 2021.  Since then I have now accumulated over $4K in expenses ranging his lawyer for guardianship court, gas to and from his home, food and various household items.

My lovely brother and sister feel I should absorb it since he is my dad (as theirs).  Neither of those two barely see him once every two weeks not alone absorb any costs.

Am I wrong to seek reimbursement from my parents trust fund of over $750K?

M1

Bozowing, didn't you have an attorney for the recent hearings?  I would ask him/her what you can legitimately request, that way you won't get into trouble with your sibs.  I would think at least some of it is reimbursible but best to be careful, given the amount of acrimony you've had.

Lor2014

Are you financial and health POA as the guardian? Are you on your dad's checking account as co-owner? 

I was lucky in that my mother took care of those things before her dementia progressed and at the urging of her sisters. After they watched their own mother (my grandmother) decline with dementia, they didn't want their children to have to go through the same angst. I pay my mother's expenses through her own account, as she asked me. 

Neither of my brothers helped me when I had to take off 4 weeks of work to move her to assisted living nor another 2 weeks to a memory care unit. They haven't taken her to one medical appointment. When one of them questioned me about what I was doing, I told them that I would be more than happy to give them all of the files and contact numbers, and he could manage everything. He immediately declined.

terei

All your mother’s expenses should be paid from her funds.   Detail your expenses + submit them for payment to your mother’s trust.   There is no question that these expenses are not your responsibility.

You dont even have to discuss it with them.   They really have nerve.  I never used a cent of my own money for my mother’s care, nor did my brothers expect me to.

You should have her expenses paid with her funds going forward + you should discuss this with her trust officer.

Emily 123

Terei's correct- the trust should be reimbursing you for any out of pocket costs incurred due to assisting your parents.  That includes gas money for any trips you wouldn't be taking otherwise, food, supplies, etc.

King Boo

Your elder law attorney should be the source of your information for this if you have difficult family.

You can be reimbursed for Mom's expenses (her food, the attorney, her medical care, etc).

Keep receipts, keep a running log of expenses.

The best way to pay for her expenses is from the account that has you set up as proxy for your Mom - sounds like it is still in process.

If you intend to get paid for providing care, it is best to execute a Family Caregiver's agreement with the attorney documenting the details to protect yourself.

If you intend to live with her long term, your attorney should be able to advise you about the deed of the house as payback for 2 years of nursing home level care - again, best to consult for appropriate documentation.  Sounds like the financials are complicated so www.nelf.org if you need a Certified Elder Law attorney.

Stuck in the middle

If you are asking if it is morally wrong to seek reimbursement, my answer is NO!