Writing on the wall

Whyzit

Yesterday was the 11th day since DH had a shower. We talked about it and he came up with the solution that he would shower twice a week, on Wednesday and Saturday. Yesterday being Saturday he said he would shower later. Later never came.

I went through all the mental anguish of how to handle this, hiring somebody to do it, buying a bed to put in the spare room so I don’t have to deal with his aroma, memory care which I can’t afford, calling our son to do it, etc. etc. etc… So I worked myself up into a real tizzy and then I did it. I painstakingly hand printed a letter to DH as follows:

Dear ———-, Please take a shower. You smell bad. Thank you. Love, me. Then I taped it to the bathroom wall where he would see it while seated on his royal throne. I went to bed vowing it would be the last night I would sleep next to my stinky DH.

Shortly thereafter DH went to the bathroom where he read my love letter. Shortly he came back to bed smelling of old spice. I didn’t say anything nor moved a muscle as he tossed around for about 15 minutes. Then he got up, went into the bathroom and I heard the shower running. Ahhhhhhhhh yeeeessssssssssssss!

It is now 2:30 Sunday afternoon and neither of us have said anything about the writing on the wall.

Paris20

When my husband refuses to shower or shave, I either get in the shower with him and shave him myself (he enjoys all that) or I break every rule. By that I mean I nag the hell out of him until he complies. He gets upset, occasionally even rants at me, but I’ve dealt with a more sophisticated version of his temper for 57 years so I’m skilled at it. There will likely come a time when none of that works but I won’t get into bed with a stinky partner.

Sligo177

Bless you, Whyzit!  Love your sense of humor.  The note apparently worked.  I hope your DH will be willing to take more frequent showers, that note might be enough.  But if not, you have to be able to sleep.  I like your other ideas as well, especially hiring someone.  You may need to eventually.  Take care of yourself, and hang in there!!!  My DH isn't crazy about cleanup either but he never did shower often.  I often think he's more like himself than he ever was.

abc123

Good for you! That's a big win!

Gig Harbor

My husband will take a shower every three days but he doesn’t think he needs to change clothes. I can usually get all the clothes into the laundry except for his shorts. Today was day 6 and I told him that he was on his own for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I said if he didn’t change into clean clothes I would also cancel Christmas dinner because no one would want him at the table. He changed and I made breakfast. He totally understood that I was serious . This is a man who never went a day in his life without showering and changing his clothes.

Josie in Podunk

Ugh….I have yet to find a foolproof method for DH.  Sometimes telling him I am changing the bed and not putting clean sheets on his side works.  Sometimes telling him he has an appointment works…but, I only use that if he really has one.  Sometimes I just settle for clean clothes and call it a win.

He was once the guy who showered, shaved and wore clean clothes daily.

Now…not so much.

I am glad your note worked.  

Mr. doesn’t even notice things like that or he ignores them.

Buggsroo

I get my husband to shower every two days. We have a routine, he get stripped, I put his clothing in the laundry, he comes in the bathroom and checks the water to his preference. I wash his backs and between his toes, as well as his pits and privates. He washes his hair as well. I lay out clean clothing for him. 

I have told him that him smelling is a deal breaker. He knows I am serious. I miss the days when he was clean, wore his French cologne eau de monsieur, he smelled divine when he wore that. Oh well, that’s the past. 

I love the note, keep it up on the wall. No one should be subjected to someone else’s stink.