Dementia & the Holidays(1)

BassetHoundAnn

Dr. Natali posted a video today with tips and advice to help caregivers get through the holidays. Holidays are an incredibly stressful time for those of us navigating the challenges of an LO with dementia. Do any of you have any advice?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzlAG6Nrc8

Here are links to past videos she refers to in today's video:

Holiday Survival Tips: https://youtu.be/ygsYrFaADYk 

Dementia Holiday Tips: https://youtu.be/1TXsg9iUrkc

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SusanB-dil

Hi BHA - Pretty much, we try to keep to her regular schedule and routine. I think that helps the most. DH and I love the holidays and getting together with family.  MIL can go with us, somewhat, without too much disruption, as long as we keep any outings brief, and we only really go to two other's houses that she knows well - and without a lot of people.  If folks come to the house, most friends & family know to keep it to only very few at a time, and will keep it short & sweet.

HHunsicker

This was the first year that my Mom couldn't handle our holiday party of 11 family members. We were very surprised with her behavior. She was very confused and accused me of inviting people without her knowing. (In the past years, we have always had about the same number of people or some years, a few more). She was upset that I didn't order enough food and that I was taking over everything and leaving her out.   She became very angry, belligerent, and tearfully upset.   She was also very critical of the food my son made and made a big deal about it while we were eating.  I got so upset at that, that I left the table, went to a room at the back of the house, and called a support person.  The rest of the attendees were upset to see her behavior.  They now understand how much Mom's dementia has progressed.  

She was still accusing me the next morning and when I apologized and said that I wouldn't do again, she claimed was not crazy, just forgetful and sleepy all the time. 

We had attended another party in the afternoon for my sister's birthday. It was at an unfamiliar location.  I think that extra event contributed to her becoming over stimulated and just tired.  

Unfortunately, we have collectively decided that we will be unable to have any large family parties for any of the the holidays again - just too much for her.  We have always had a celebration in the Spring with a formal dinner.  Our plans are to split up the attendees and have 2 celebrations then on different weekends, a few weeks apart.  This is the new normal and it is very sad for me.

FTDCaregiver

Ah the holidays...my wife has early onset FTD, going into year 5, where hosting a small gathering.  I sowed the seeds with family, early on...very open with them on her condition, find I get more stressed with how they reacted (early on) around her than my wife's condition...haha. things that helped me were roll with whatever happens, keep the lights bright, noise low, scented candles, low xmas music (my wife loves music), create a good environment for her.  If she gets cranky and we have to break up early, no problem as my family already knows that could happen.  Just love each other and enjoy our company is our goal.  Good luck!

BassetHoundAnn

Here are a few more worthwhile videos about caregiving during the holidays:

Caregiving With Grace: Why doesn't it feel like Christmas?

https://youtu.be/vSF8J0gMZDQ

Dr. Natali: Letting someone with dementia visit during the holidays

https://youtu.be/UwxpnmETRW0