Placement acceptance

Saya_G

How long did it take you LO to accept placement in a memory care facility? What stage were they at when they were placed?

harshedbuzz

Hi Saya-G-

It actually took my dad a whole lot less time than I expected as he tended to be a challenging individual-usually by choice- whenever possible.

He was stage 6ish with mixed dementia. His progression always seemed atypical in a lot of ways- the physical aspects of the disease always manifested earlier than expected while skills like speech and some memory remained better than one would expect. He was already in the stage when keeping his weight up was a challenge.

On admission to MC, dad was ambulatory- mostly a shuffle and unsteady on his feet. He would sometimes fall or even just crumble to the floor. He was mostly able to self-feed a range of foods- soup, ice cream, pasta, sandwiches, etc but not cut meat. He was not reliably continent, especially his bowel control but I think that was complicated by radiation for prostate cancer. He mostly remembered close family (me, mom, his grands) but was hazy on my husband of 35 years and couldn't recall if my sister was dead or alive. He was having a lot of hallucinations and delusions by this point- that his brother lived in another wing, that his golf buddies were in his room visiting, that he'd went clubbing in the basement of the MCF. His speech was remarkably intact- he was conversational until he died. 

He was really angry for the first 2 weeks or so. His MCF wasn't one that suggested a period of no-contact, so mom and I visited daily initially. About 2 weeks in, we settled on one of us stopping in for a short visit daily. Sometimes, he and mom would have an afternoon nap together which he enjoyed; I usually came at lunch with something he might enjoy eating and a snack for later. The MCF had a monthly family event and the only picture I have of dad smiling in the last 6 years of his life was from a Valentine's party about 3 weeks after he moved there. 

Hang in there. It gets better.

HB

MN Chickadee

My mother was placed in memory care at very late stage 5 or early stage 6. She was physically still extremely healthy but incontinence and night waking hastened the decision to move her from home.  The first two weeks were horrendous, the next two were slightly less horrendous, and about the 6 week mark she started to settle in and accept it.  By 8 weeks she was happy and content, and has since had a great experience in long term care for the last 3 years. Hang in there, the early days are rough on both of you but it will get better. We had the best luck calling it temporary, the doctor ordered it.

Emily 123

My mom, 91 at the time. Probably early stage 5. Still doing ADLs- needs cueing, shower resistant,  no short term memory, unaware of time, year, weather.  About 4-6 weeks to start to make sense of the routine of the place, about 3 months to really settle in.