Any advice on mom's grandchildren visiting?

Lor2014

My mom's latest change is that she went from repetitively asking questions about her life and family members to no conversations at all. She couldn't remember that the love of her life, her husband, died 15 years ago, so I had been telling her he was on a trip and would return shortly.

Now, she reads while we sit together, and although we don't talk and she doesn't know that I am her daughter, she enjoys my company. I sat with her for 2 hours during my last visit with fewer than 30 words exchanged. She still selects her favorite foods to eat that I bring her and she knows my name and that I am important to her, but she does not know I am her daughter. I am slowly losing her and it breaks my heart.

I have 8 family members (mom's son and *edited for age* adult 25+ yo grandchildren) coming in to visit me/her over the holiday, and by then, the facility will probably be on lockdown due to Covid. She gets her booster vaccine this week, as do all of the residents, so this may be her last visit with since statistically, many elderly pass within a year of a broken hip.

Currently, I have one meal planned with 5 family members with my mom (facility's current restrictions.)  for a total of 2 hours. Any suggestions on setting up further visits, if any? The visits are really for the grandchildren, as mom won't remember any of this, but I am sure she will be agitated for a week or two because visits stir up her memory.

mommyandme (m&m)

My moms not in a facility but can only handle small doses of young children.  She worries about them constantly and the toy clutter upsets her.  Her great grandchildren are 7, 4 and 3. Not sure the ages of your moms grandchildren.  My moms grandchildren are in their upper 20’s and 31.  My children, her grandchildren, just visit with her, give her hugs, which she loves.  She doesn’t talk much to them but mostly recognizes them as hers.  

I would say small doses of visitors, not staying too too long.  Take lots of pictures. Maybe you can visit with your nieces/nephews and brother for yourself.  Maybe take a minute for you.  I’m sure others have more wisdom for you.  

Let us know how it goes. Best wishes. 

loveskitties

Perhaps you might consider something like an afternoon tea...with people in and out...with drinks and cookies, cake, etc. instead of a big meal.

I don't know about your family, but mine are talkers and it might be confusing for her with so many at one time.