Awakened this morning

Paris20

At 6:30 this morning my husband, who usually sleeps in until at least 9, woke me up to tell me I must get up and get dressed. Still sleepy, I asked him why. He replied that it was time to go home and if I didn’t hurry we’d miss our flight. He was so sure of his words that I spoke carefully, even though we certainly were home. I asked him to look out the window at the street where we’ve lived for 42 years. He peeked out the window and told me he wished we were home but, sadly, we’re not.

I decided to follow advice I’ve learned here. I reassured him we’d be home soon and then changed the subject. I couldn’t go back to sleep, even though my beagle, who has terminal cancer, had awakened me at 2 am for a short pit stop outside. It’s just so unnerving to hear my husband, a once bright and capable man, with a PhD in finance, who could fix anything from a gourmet meal to a broken toilet, become so lost in every way. Did I handle this situation reasonably or was there anything else I could have done?

June45

You handled it fine. My husband frequently wakes up in the middle of the night and want to go "home". As you know, it doesn't do any good to tell them they are "home".  I tell my husband that I can't drive at night and that I will be glad to take him home (in Georgia) in the morning. I tell him to get some rest before we go. So far he is satisfied with the answer. In the morning he doesn't remember it at all.

P.S. In your case, if your husband continues to be concerned about missing the flight, you can always tell him you got a text that the flight is delayed, etc.

jane8851

My husband also wants to "go home to his wife". We've been married 46 yrs and lived in our house the same amount of time. It's difficult when he doesn't know who I am.. I've hidden his keys so he can't drive so that's not an option but he gets so agitated and fixated on it that he tries to walk out the door. Had to put doorknob covers on the exit doors so he can't get out. I've learned I can't convince him that he is home and I am his wife and distracting doesn't work. Sometimes he keeps me up all night wanting to go home. His neurologist increased his olanzapine last week and so far it seems to help. I hate Alzheimer's. The patient has the disease but the caregiver is the one who has lost her life.

BB Needs Help

What you said about losing your life is so true.  That is what I'm feeling and really don't know how to deal with it.  Any suggestions.

billS

Paris20 it sounds to me like you handled it perfectly. And Judy's suggestion about a flight cancellation text is brilliant.

jane8851

I wish I knew how to handle it too. I'm so depressed and tired all the time. Mostly just taking it day by day at this point. Being on this forum and knowing I'm not alone helps too.

Yorklady53

I so relate to that. Every day I realize that Alzheimer’s is killing me even faster than it’s killing him. A year ago I was filled with joy and thankfulness each and every day. Now, even though I’m thankful for much, I can’t find one second in a day where I feel joy. At this point I feel there is no need for me to go on. I’m just too tired to care anymore. I’m no longer living, I’m enduring.

caberr

One night last week my DH woke up and said "this is our home",  I  said yes it is.  Then a little later he said "I want to go home".  I asked him, where would that be?  He just laughed.  I didn't bring it up in the morning because I know he would say he was joking. 

I don't know how else to answer him and I know it's not a good idea to tell him he is already home.  Especially in the middle of the night....no one would get any sleep!

June45

caberr wrote:

Then a little later he said "I want to go home".  I asked him, where would that be?  He just laughed.  I didn't bring it up in the morning because I know he would say he was joking. 

I don't know how else to answer him and I know it's not a good idea to tell him he is already home.  Especially in the middle of the night....no one would get any sleep!

caberr, my husband frequently asks to "go home" in the middle of the night. I go with it and tell him that I can't drive at night when it is dark and I will take him home first thing in the morning. So far it has worked for us. In the morning he never remembers that he asked to go home. And you are exactly right...don't tell him he is already home. Be prepared with your own fiblet that will work for you and your husband...i.e. the car is in the shop; you have to go to the bank to get travel money or whatever.

caberr

june45...thank you!!