Decline from move..... when?

Farm Gal

About 10 weeks ago I moved my DH and myself to another town to be closer to getting help when I need it.  We had lived all our married life in our former house -- over 50 years. He is into stage 6. 

 He would never have wanted to move but I told him it was temporary.   He seemed to settle in until about 2 weeks ago.   I assumed our move would really affect him but I really didn't notice any big decline until the last couple of weeks.  His sundowning is much more pronounced with being anxious and nervous; can't seem to figure out what the digital clock is for;  often he can't work remote;  looking for dead relatives and people I've never heard of and on and on.  

 My question is if you have moved your LO  did you see a decline right away or did it come later.  I realize I will never know for sure but just wanted to hear your experiences and stories.  

King Boo

People tend to move as they face higher care needs for their loved one (in other words, a decline that was going to happen no matter where you were).

Many report that moves can be initially unsettling and their LO takes a bit to settle.  Many report their LO seems to improve following a move to MC because their life is simplified, their routing set, and they thrive on a predictable schedule that is geared towards a PWD.

harshedbuzz

TBH, I never really saw a significant decline in function that could be attributed to a move, and we moved dad a whole lot more than anyone here would recommend. 

Dad was well into the middle stages of dementia and had had a psychotic episode that finally overcame my mother's denial that what we were seeing was "a part of the normal process of aging" in the summer of 2015. I saw personality changes as early as 2005 and significant memory glitches by 2008. During that time, my parents split the year between Eastern Shore MD and Florida; I didn't notice an impact on cognition or behavior. At the time of diagnosis, we drove dad from MD to Philadelphia where he spent a week in the hospital, followed by 7 weeks in rehab in suburban PA. During this time, mom agreed to move closer to me, so we got them a nice apartment into which he moved on discharge from rehab. Neither particularly liked apartment living, so 8 months later mom and I found her a cute house in a 55+ community and moved them there. Like the other houses and apartment, I managed the physical move. This time I settled the pair of them in a hotel near their new house. Dad enjoyed that so much, he wanted to move there.

TL;DR. From July 2015 until January 2017 dad moved from FL, to MD, to the hospital, to rehab, to an apartment, to a hotel, to a house. Yes, he declined a lot, but it was gradual and didn't seem to coincide with any move. In fact, he seemed to improve a bit during the time he was in rehab and the apartment. 

I wonder if the uptick in sundowning is related to the onset of standard time and shorter daylight hours. 

I am sorry you are seeing this.

HB

Farm Gal

Thanks Boo and HB.  I think you both have valid points I had not thought of. This house is about 1/2 the size of our former home and consequently he has less to remember where things are and basically sits in his recliner all day watching TV.  He has no desire to go anywhere so his days are pretty much on a schedule like a MC facility.

HB,  Glad to hear of all the moves your Dad managed and that the decline wasn't significant on any one of them.  I did not consider the DST change would be a challenge but that might be a factor also for the increased sundowning. 

I have also  wondered if maybe he had a mini stroke a couple of weeks ago.  In addition to the sundowning  he has so much more trouble with cognition that started suddenly.  

Thanks!  

Rhonda63

Hello everyone. I’m new to this forum so plz bear with me. Looking for help/advice. My mom now lives with us, my husband and I. Since October. We just could not leave her alone anymore. Her house is 3 1/2 hours away. This has been tough for her. We are putting the house up for sale. I’ve been going as often as possible to the house to clean, box stuff up, and get things ready. Most of the time I go alone. Bc I can get there faster and get more done. The last time I took her with me she got a severe anxiety attack while we were there  to the point I thought I was going to have to call ER .  It was bad. All I can say is she was just all over the place. Pacing all over the house. Saying someone had been there and stuff was missing. Getting out of breath. It was horrible. I could not get her to calm down.  Finally she did, after her meds and a bath. But still was up and down all night. What should I do?  Is it best for her, and me, if I just go by myself?  

SusanB-dil

Hi Rhonda63 - welcome to 'here'...  but you may get some better answers starting your own question discussion...

If seeing her house as it stands is this upsetting to her, I would say then that is enough.  It is just too much for her.

and Farm Gal - looks like Boo and HB got you covered.   and yes, we have seen some decline when there has been a TIA/mini-stroke.  Her neurologist said there isn't much to be done when it happens.

Gisel

I moved mom two years ago last April, this year was the first time she started asking about her dad, her oldest brother, and her husband, all deceased by this time. Always or almost always asking around 5 or 6pm. I tried to explain they were all in heaven to no avail, but a healthy cookie or Apple seems to calm her down. Sometimes she would wake at 3 or 4am insisting she had to go see her dad who was sick. I would reassure her we would go when the sun came up by which time she was back to 'normal'. Worked with her doc and nurse to find something to help her sleep the night through, after a very disappointing trial of lorazepam, settled on 5mg of melatonin each night, which may be causing vivid dreams but at least she's not anxious to get up at 3 or 4am.

Gisel

Leave her with a loved one at the new home. She will never accept the previous home is no longer option if you keep taking her back. I left mom with one sister while I closed up her previous home wth another sister's help, all this back in 2019. It took 10 months to sell but in the meantime we managed to take care of all the neglected maintenance, water pump, etc. A clean break - here we are over 2 years later and she doesn't ask to go home anymore. I'm hoping at some level she realizes we're better off here closer to family members she can see every day instead of just at holidays.