A couple of questions.

Zaellan

My sister and I finally made the decison to move my mom to a memory care facility.  We placed her this Tuesday. My sister had talked to her on the phone for 40 minutes in a effort to calm her down earlier this afternoon, the facility couldn't calm her down. It turned out they didn't give her, the seraquel. I called her later and asked her how she was and she was in the "I want to go home" mode. I made the mistake of asking how she was, I take it that is not a good question to ask?  The facility in which she was placed doesn't have a rule on when people should visit.  I recall reading here that one person's place had a 3 week rule, you shouldn't contact them for 3 weeks.  When will the agitation lessen? How long does it take them to adjust? (I know everyone is different).   I know there are several threads about this.

I have a second question..My mom was able to dress and able to toilet herself just a month ago but now she has to have a lot of help with both. Maybe she was has been hiding it for a while...she did take quite a while to dress herself. Can someone really decline that fast?

She has Parkinson's with Dementia. 

SusanB-dil

Hi Zaellan - I saw another post where the facility tried to do without the Seroquel. It was not a pretty outcome! and I don't understand that... the doc prescribed it for a reason.  but just a thought, they may be 'trying' not to use it. I would say to be the advocate for its use.

I think most places do not have a wait-to-visit rule, but just that it makes some sense not to visit for just a bit so LO can get settled in.

with my MIL, we have had things relatively stable, and then a sudden decline, and then a bit of back-and-forth. She is well into stage 5, but we have had really good days where she almost seems a '4', but then just a day later, we can have a '6'.     'this' dang frustrating 'thing'!!!!!!

izi

My mother is 69 years old with hypertension diabetes type 2 and her father was with alzheimers  and MI five months ago and is diagnosed with alzheimers first stage a month ago with mini(short) cognitive test. Received 10 sessions of TPS treatment that i saw afterwards not so helpful but on the other hand we started a diet that she lost around 6 kg and the diabetes improved cholesterol levels and blood pressure improved and what i feel she is more active her memory i think better at least not worse. What i want to ask to all the community is which brain trainings u see in your loved ones has helped improving memory , which games u think is good to play on the phone( she starts to play sudoku- i think she is doing well ). My other question is she is living in turkey and i want her to be near my sister in the US . She has grandson and daughter she liked them too much. But i am afraid to take a flight from turkey to US , if it makes the disease to go on the next stage in the disease. U recommend to join the clinical trials of the new drugs? If somebody uses acadanumab treatment , can he/she share the experience with it? What should be the daily routines of a person with new on set alzheimers? Thank u all

quartlow2

It was the most heart-breaking time for us - to know that Mom was scared. They told us not to visit her for 6 weeks I think? We couldn't\wouldn't do it. My siblings and I stayed away as long as we could. My brother lives the closest and I don't know how long he lasted. Mom went into MC and Dad went into AL down the hall. So they told him that he could visit her and be with her all day long if he wanted. But it turned out that he needed more help than any of us knew (toileting, specifically) and he couldn't get that care when with Mom in MC because he wasn't their patient. They'd been married for 69 years. He couldn't just abandon her. When he wasn't with her she'd go looking for him. She figured out how to get through the secured doors by pulling the emergency alarm. Her "dementia" was mostly aphasia - which means she could think usually fine but she couldn't communicate or understand words spoken to her. She was terrified to be without Dad who had protected her from "people she thought were stealing from her" for the last decade. So, he moved into MC with her. Being together was more comforting for each of them to know the other was ok. But their communication was frustrating on both of them due to hearing loss and Mom's aphasia. They each thought the other was angry at them. I was their referee but I live out of state.

We thought Dad would pass away before Mom did and we were terrified for her. But it didn't happen that way. I'm sorry, not much of this helps you because your mother is alone. But I can so relate to your feeling of heartbreak. I know it takes time for PWD to adjust to new living circumstances. I'm just not convinced that keeping separated is the way to do it. You are her biggest advocate. Although challenging, YOU can tell what she's trying to communicate, or what she needs, easier than someone who just met her and is comparing her to every other PWD they know. 

It took a long time for us to realize that Mom could think fairly straight but just couldn't say what she needed. At first she could read fine but when I spoke to her my words got jumbled in her brain. I used a speech-to-text app successfully. I spoke to the my phone which put it into large text for her to read. My sister wrote letters and I asked Mom to read it to me. She read it perfectly. But she couldn't tell time anymore. Numbers were confusing to her - dates and time - she didn't know which number was lower or higher than the other; even when looking at the calendar and analog clock.

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abc123

Hi izi,  welcome to the forum. I suggest you start a new thread, you will get more responses. It's easy to do. Go to the top of the screen/page. Click on the green button that says Add Post. Also if you fill in your profile page it will help you get better suggestions to your post. I am sorry about your mom. Do you live in Turkey?