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Does your MC facility hand feed your LO?

DH needs more than just a little assistance eating. Sometimes he has to be hand fed the entire meal. This has been going on for 4 weeks now. The MC staff have told me that they can't technically feed residents, just assist. However, they are feeding him breakfast. Otherwise, I'm going in twice/day to feed him lunch and dinner.  I'm wondering if I need to move him to a nursing home?? However, that would be very traumatic for DH. What are your experiences with this? Do MC facilities typically hand feed residents? What about nursing homes? Thanks in advance.

Comments

  • ladyzetta
    ladyzetta Member Posts: 1,028
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    Marie,  My DH was hand fed in the MC facility. I know they cannot force them to eat, but as long as he wanted and was eating it, he was fed by one of the caregivers. Hugs Zetta
  • Farm Gal
    Farm Gal Member Posts: 69
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    When my MIL was in a nursing home they told us that she eats too slowly and they didn't have time to sit with her and feed her.  I drove the 30minutes each morning to feed her breakfast before work.
  • dayn2nite2
    dayn2nite2 Member Posts: 1,138
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    That's insane.  If the resident cannot load a utensil up and get the food to their mouth, they have to be hand-fed.  To not do that would be deliberately starving them.  I would ask the administrator where this "rule" comes from and why, if they're dealing with Alzheimer's patients, is this even a thing.

    While you're asking questions, I would ask "can my LO stay here until death?" and if the answer is yes, ask again why this rule when ALL people with dementia are unable to feed themselves for some months/years prior to death.

    If they say no, move your LO now and the next place needs to be somewhere where they can stay until death.
  • Crushed
    Crushed Member Posts: 1,463
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    DW has to be hand fed   in Maryland dementia MC facilities are regulated  in the same way as NH although the regulations are different but hand feeding is required.

    FWIW  I pay an extra aide for 30 hours a week She feeds her when she is there. I make it absolutely clear that when the aide is not there she needs proper feeding.

    I supply lots of yogurt  and desserts  so there is always proper food at any hour.  On weekends she sleeps in late and eats each meal after everyone else,  Her weight and nutrition situation is stable so no problem  

  • Gig Harbor
    Gig Harbor Member Posts: 568
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    My friend’s husband is in a facility that has horseshoe shaped tables. The aid sits in the middle and can feed 3 patients at a time. Seems to work well as each resident eats slowly.

  • feudman
    feudman Member Posts: 59
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    Gig Harbor, that's a great idea, very efficient.  At mom's facility, when you were no longer able to feed yourself, they moved you to a higher level of care (at a much higher rate). This included hand feeding, but they didn't have adequate staff, so the neediest had to wait until everyone else was done. And there was a limit to how much time each resident was allotted. We had paid caregivers go in, but the agency didnt allow actual feeding, only loading the spoon & prompting.
  • Rescue mom
    Rescue mom Member Posts: 988
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    IME they will, as said, load the utensil and put the food to their mouth, but if they refuse to eat, the staff won’t force it. There’s also the issue of how long a time means “refusal.”  Having staff spend serious time with it often costs considerably more as an extra service,  and/or you can hire a private aide to come in and do that.

    What Gig and feudman said.

  • Jo C.
    Jo C. Member Posts: 2,955
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    Some MCs are licensed on an assisted living model; in that model, there is to be no hand feeding, and no bedside commodes or urinals and they usually want the patient ambulatory or if hard-pressed, able to stand and pivot transfer with only one assistant.  If licensed differently, then the services will be a bit different.  Some facilities where patients can be hand-fed may have a special cost or that service.

    It may be time to make an appointment with the Administrator to ask about this service so as not to have it be a nursing staff decision because they are "busy."  Be cautious about the LO being able to be cared for until death - I fell into that one to my absolute surprise.

    I asked about end of life care and was told that it was done; in fact, they had 20 beds licensed for end of life care and that Hospice was also welcome. This was one of the factors in choosing the facility.  Then it happened . . . my LO could not get out of bed or up without heavy assistance of two aides.  Some days there was difficulty getting to the dining room and a bit of difficulty eating.  No end of life care despite a very quiet and calm patient.  Suddenly, we were asked to leave as my LO was too much work and too far along in her illness.  Shocked to the core.   Did indeed transfer and though difficult, the second place was licensed on a NH model and in fact, the dementia unit was separate with its own area in a NH and the care was superlative and did go to end of life and patient feeding was done.

    Unless it is something you want to do, it seems unreasonable that there is no service for feeding patients who are unable to feed themselves.  If this is the first sign something is not going to be supportive as the dementia advances, it may be time to begin to check out other facilities.

    J.

  • Joe C.
    Joe C. Member Posts: 982
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    I have observed residents being hand fed at the MC where DW is living.
  • David J
    David J Member Posts: 479
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    My wife sometimes needs help because of her essential tremor. When it’s bad, the staff will feed her. When I am there at mealtime, I help feed her.
  • Beachfan
    Beachfan Member Posts: 806
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    After 4 weeks in a MCF, it is painfully obvious to me that my DH is much more compromised than the majority of his other 15 cottage mates.  On my first visit, I showed the caregivers how I positioned the plate guard on his plate, placed a non-skid mat under his plate/bowl, maneuvered food around on his plate so that he could more easily scoop or spear it onto his spork and carefully placed drinks into his hand and told him, "It's a drink; put it in your mouth".  The following week, he was seated nearer to the area where the food was served onto residents' plates, where one or another caregiver was almost always in attendance.  By the third visit, caregivers were marveling at how much he seemed to enjoy the food and how much he ate with a little assistance.   They seemed to welcome the information and agreed with me that his eating difficulty was a result of his poor perception and had nothing to do with his disinterest in eating.

    One gentleman in his cottage is fed the majority of his meal and on an earlier visit, in another cottage, a woman was being totally fed.  Caregivers explained that she was one of the younger patients but was receiving Hospice care.  I was assured on more than one occasion that DH would be assisted when needed and totally fed if he continued to accept food but was physically unable to feed himself.  I intend to hold them to their pledge.  

  • IWBH1990
    IWBH1990 Member Posts: 20
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      My DW has been in a Memory Care Facility for seven months now as of today. When they did the home visit prior to her being accepted in the facility I told them DW would eat finger foods by herself, but I had to hand feed her everything else. The facility has four tiers for cost based on needs. I think the fact that she had to be hand fed placed her in tier three category.  In the past couple of months she has needed help even eating "finger foods". I would guess currently 10 out of the 30 MC residents require some level of assistance eating.

    Dave

  • Crushed
    Crushed Member Posts: 1,463
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    In Maryland a level 3 memory care assisted living facility is licensed to and required to

    Level 3 programs
    provide all Level 2 and 3 services and also ongoing access to  and coordination of comprehensive health services and interventions;
    comprehensive
    and frequent assistance with ADLs;
    monitoring and providing ongoing therapeutic
    intervention or intensive supervision to manage chronic behaviors that might disrupt or harm the resident or others;
    and monitoring and managing a variety of psychological or
      psychiatric episodes involving active symptoms, condition changes, or significant risks  that may require skilled interpretation or immediate interventions

    Bottom line level 3 facilities provide everything except skilled nursing care. E.g.  No feeding tubes no IVs  no power chairs or power lifts

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,594
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    My aunt was hand-fed in both MC and SNF. In both places, a few residents sat at a table and shared one aide. The meal lasted about 30 minutes. Her guardian used to come at lunchtime to feed her sister so she could sit at a table with her boyfriend and make sure she had all the time she needed to get a full meal and dessert while still socializing. If auntie was traveling, she had my cousin come or hired someone to be there.

    HB

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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