vent: the trail of turds

LadyTexan

Last evening, I came down with a fever. I told DH that I needed to rest. He was fairly annoyed that I would not be waiting on him hand and foot. But I felt rest was best. 

At 3:30 am, DH decided it was time to get up. We got up and I got him coffee and a smoke. He was annoyed his programs were not on yet. I explained that I was going back to bed because I still had a fever. I was very clear with him: if you want a smoke, let me know and I will get it. If you need the bathroom, let me know and I will help. If you need more coffee let me know and I will get it.

I went back to bed, he woke me when he needed a smoke and I got his smoke. I went back to bed. He woke me when he needed more coffee and I got him more coffee. I went back to bed. He then comes in to tell me he needs me to clean his butt. I get up and there is a trail of turds from the guest bath to our bedroom. Argh. I showered him and he is clean but I am exhausted.

He has no empathy for me. He does not care that I am sick. His focus is on what he wants: cigarettes and coffee. He had no problem asking for those, but didn't bother telling me he needed help in the bathroom. As a result, I have a couple hours of poop clean up. 

Thank you for allowing me to vent.

June45

What an absolute nightmare!!!  (I guess you didn't get the memo; caregivers aren't allow to get sick!)

harshedbuzz

Sending you creepy cyber hairpats, LT. That's an awful way to start the day.

Feel better.

DrinaJGB

OMG what an ordeal.So sorry! Reminds me of the day I had rotator cuff surgery and was up cooking dinner that evening with one arm. No empathy whatsoever. Sometimes you just want to scream.

M1

Oh LT I have complete empathy (though we are not dealing with stool yet).....Just spent five days in bed with some crud I caught from my granddaughter, and my partner had no patience for it; she knew I was sick, but was clearly frustrated that I wasn't up to cue her like I normally do.

The fever is concerning--hope it goes away quick.  Do you need to be seen?  Flu/covid testing?  We can't find in-home covid tests anywhere around here....

Ed1937

Lady, we are the only ones who can understand your frustration. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. Your husband has no empathy, and the disease doesn't care either. I hope things get better quickly for you.

abc123

Lady, you are in my prayers.

Paris20

Lady Texan, I feel your pain. It’s sometimes hard to explain to others about the accumulation of  awful and self-centered behavior that torture us caregivers. Being forgetful is the least if it. The other night, my husband sat bare-@ssed on our bed. By the time I told him not to do that, it was too late. I had to change all the linens and do a wash at midnight. Another symptom that is especially depressing is the constant interruption. I can be on the phone, in the bathroom, or in another room out of earshot, my husband will call out to me with a question or a comment, but I must respond immediately. If not, he becomes agitated. I’ll stop here. You all know what I’m saying.

Cynbar

This is exactly why EVERYONE I knew advised me to send DH to respite when I had hip surgery. I thought that was a little extreme ---- now I don't. Thank goodness I listened to them or a good recovery never would have happened. Even if I hired in-home help, he would have been after me to do all the things for him he was used to. Was worth every penny.

Buggsroo

Hi LT,

Sorry about the trail of turds, I can relate, if I am not cleaning up human turds, then I am dealing with cat turds. I feel my life has taken a fecal turn for the worse. I also get the lack of empathy. I liken myself to the house slave. Not fun. 

I hope you get better soon, like someone else remarked; no sickdays as a caregiver. 

billS

Lady Texan, I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. So far I'm only dealing with discovering urine-soaked Depends on my desk or the kitchen counter in the morning. Though there was one episode of a turd-filled wicker wastebasket. Not pretty, and I expect things will get worse.

NylaBlue

I feel your exhaustion and frustration! DH and I were “boosted” on Friday. I had flu like side effects from about 3 am Saturday morning until late Saturday night and spent most of the time in bed, but of course got up to make three meals and two snacks for husband. He uses the bathroom adjacent to our bedroom so I was also handy for helping him there; I can actually see the toilet from the bed as long as he leaves the door open. Thankfully he did not leave any presents on the floor. If he had, I might have just left them where they lay until later that night!!

LadyTexan

Thanks everyone. I am feeling much better, but not 100%. 

Today has been a stressful day because I took DH in for lab work. Getting him in the car (as I’ve described before) like a game of twister in a foreign language with no colors. Getting DH from the car to the lab must’ve looked concerning, because a non related medical practice offered us a wheel chair. Angels were watching over us for sure. When we were in the waiting area a patient that was leaving said “I’m glad they finally got you a wheel chair”. 

After the blood draw, it was another difficult endeavor to get back in the car. DH then wanted a burger and fries, so I hit a drive through on the way home. I handed DH the bag of fries because I know he is hungry. He promptly tried to eat a ketchup package until I intervened. 

I HATE this disease. 

I forgot to mention, my computer is in the shop along with DH’s computer that I use for a spare. I feel more isolated than usual. If my cell phone fails I’ll really be in a pickle. 

M1

Glad it was a somewhat better day....

Joydean

Lady Texan, hope your are feeling better!

sandwichone123

I'm glad there was some sign of caring from a "caring professional" in some office. But most of all, I hope your computers get well soon!