Dangerous Delusions

Kevcoy

The other day while I was at work one of my neighbors told me there were two police cars in our neighborhood.  There was a report that someone was out brandishing a gun but they found nothing.   According to my DH though, the police were there because our neighbors 16 year old son across the street was driving too fast, nearly running down people with their children and verbally harassing them with threats of violence.  According to DH the police then cuffed the kid and took him to jail which of course didn't happen.  This wouldn't be so bad if this was just between he and I but when I'm away and he sees other neighbors he tells them his version.  DH's story got to the parents of this boy and they hit the roof.  The boy's mom came over and raised holy hell which irritated my husband who started yelling back at her with me in the middle.  I tried to walk her outside to explain what was going on with my husband but she wasn't listening and was just too angry.  She stormed away and threatened us with a lawsuit.  I'm at a loss to know what to do when these delusions get so far out of hand.  There is no way of changing his mind about the situation because it is real to him.  I'm hoping it will fade away but am worried about the next time.

June45

Wow..."dangerous delusions" is an appropriate title for your thread. I hope there are others on the forum who can give you some advice.

billS

That is really unfortunate. For sure you should alert all the neighbors and the police to your husband's condition.

abc123

I don't think this will fade away. Is there anyway possible for you to speak with your neighbor at her house, without your husband even knowing? I would try this and I would bring a small peace offering of flowers. If he is alone at home while you are working, I feel like your immediate neighbors need to know what he is experiencing. Back when my mother was able to make the 9 hour trip to my house, she would stay with me for 2 to 3 weeks while my dad travelled. I was still working then. Two of my neighbors had been told about her condition, next door and across the street. They both had my cell number. My mother went thru a phase of flashing people or just plain ole walking around naked. It kept my mind at ease to know my neighbors were keeping an eye out for her. I worked close enough to come home everyday for lunch. That was a hard time for me. I'm sorry this is happening to you both. I hope things will get easier for you and DH. He truly believes what he is telling you.

Rescue mom

This kind of thing and other things, were a big part of why I told all our neighbors about DH Alzheimer’s pretty early. Many already noticed he acted inappropriately, and he could get worse than “inappropriate.” I made sure to talk to them privately, before something worse happened.

Nor could he do things for others like he used to, although he’d always say yes when asked. Of course he never remembered any of it. That caused some early hard feelings, too…

Everyone was supportive and helpful, once they heard the reason. I think once you explain things to your neighbor and apologize, she’ll be more understanding. People tend to be really sensitive about the kids, it may take a little time but she will surely understand. 

Our neighbors also keep a special eye out for him and things around the house. The more eyes, the better, in my book.

Joe C.

I agree with the comments from others about speaking with your neighbors. I told all my neighbors about DW’s diagnosis due to wandering concerns. DW also had serious delusions, although she did not share them with anyone but me. Her neurologist prescribed seroquil for her delusions which turned out to be a lifesaver for both of us.

FTDCaregiver

Hello Kevcoy - I feel your pain.  Like your DH, my DW suffered delusions in the summer of 2020.  I was so unprepared when she ran yelling from the house screaming about a girl and boy in our house.  she had been diagnosed in april/2019 with early on-set FTD, but last year, things took a really bad turn, didn't know how to handle it..what to do..where to turn.  after 2 ER visits and 2 placements in a mental health wards, misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, administered psychotropics (which made it worse..didnt know then), after her last discharge and her being awake for 40 hours straight, I took her to our local GP.  As she was wanding the halls, screaming, me pleading for help, the GP telling me "it was over his head", We finally pulled in her psychiatrist (on-line) and all agreed to pull her off the psych meds, treat her anxiety as the primary condition, adjusting her medications.  Long story short, no delusions today, anxiety is still there but manageable through her medications and behavioral diversions I use (eg. snacks, music, dance...).  Who knows what tomorrow will hold but getting her medical team together on the same page helped with a plan to move ahead.  Cant say for your situation, but for mine, her condition being treated for anxiety and not a schizophrenia was a game-changer.  she has brain disease and not a mental illness was our thinking....  Hope things improve for you and your DH.  You're not alone.