A Dementia Travel Tale of Mirth and Woe

Lynne D

    Getting to our coast house is now a lengthy trip, because we located to a house far, far away to conserve funds and be near a family support system. I break up the 12-hour trip with a stay in Reno.

On our most recent trip, I reserved a room (using my daughter’s generous employee hotel discount) with a king bed. I know my husband flails, startles, jerks, rolls, whispers, talks and snores, but I figured a king would allow us enough space.

At some time during the night my HWD rolled off the bed and got his head wedged between the wall-mounted nightstand and the mattress. I had to jam my knee into the mattress to create enough space for him to pull his head out. I rejoiced that there was no blood. He went back to sleep easily, but continued with even more gusto with the sleep behaviors noted above. I could not get back to sleep with his constant interruptions.

I appropriated the Serta dog mattress from the dog, lay towels on it, and also took the dog’s (freshly laundered) blanket and lay in the entry way of our hotel room. I was in a somewhat comfortable sleep when I became aware of the dog, his large head looming just over me. I greeted him and asked what the matter was. He did not move or offer a response. Then I saw my husband standing at the foot of my dog bed, staring at me. I spoke to him, and he became wildly agitated and began screaming the most foul things. He threatened elopement. 

What a good idea! It was 4:19 am, and we had to drive over Donner Summit. I took the dog out to pee, packed us up, and hit the road.

Thirty miles of crawling across the summit under chain controls, we were in the rain again. Hallelujah!

We stopped for breakfast at Cricket’s Country Cafe, where I had a splendid view of the creepy clown wall. Our waitress, Rocky, put a pot of their finest Farmer Brother’s Coffee on the table for us. Fueled by caffeine, I pressed on.

On Highway 1 my HWD became very agitated, convinced I was out to run off the road and murder him. No amount of reasoning, pointing out other cars on the road, or reassurance would calm him. Thank goodness I had set the doors to the child lock position, for he threatened to jump out, and even unbuckled his seat belt.

After a day at the cabin (about which he has some long-term memory), he seemed to return to his dementia “normal.” His auditory hallucinations are about as frequent as they are at home, but he gets so agitated and angry at the people outside banging things and shouting that I think it is time to call the neurologist to see what can be done to keep him calm. For him and for me.

Lessons learned:

• Always get a hotel with two beds
• Jam one of the 14 pillows they put on the bed between the night stand and mattress 
• Medicate prophylactically when traveling
• The dog is designated as an emotional support animal, but he is an amazing alert animal for me. (He is not trained and I did not ask him to take on this role; he is intuitive.)
• Enjoy the absurdity of sleeping in a dog bed and dining with clowns.

June45

Yikes!  I am glad that you survived.  I am in love with your dog!!!! 

CStrope

My question is.....at any point were you able to just sit and laugh?  Sometimes this life is so absurd that's all we can do.....

Glad you're at your destination safely and you can now return to "normal"

abc123

I'm sooooo glad you were able to safely arrive! OMGeee! Thank you for sharing lessons learned with us. Your experience reminded me that people outside of "our loop" truly have no clue as to what we deal with as caregivers and what happens to our loved ones with dementia.

Now that you two are at the coast, will you be able to do a little decorating for Christmas? Hang a string of lights or a wreath maybe? That always helps me and dad to feel better. Mom used to question us endlessly about what we were doing and why no body told her it was Christmas!!! These days she doesn't even notice the decorations. Lynne, I hope you get to relax and enjoy some inner peace, even if just for a moment. Merry Christmas to you!

jfkoc

Amazing... I got word yesterday that the pass had 3 feet of snow!

https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&ei=UTF-8&p=where+is+donner+summit&type=E211US105G91561#id=4&vid=c36af7026fba0c492263109c4a287cf

Loved the share....love your resourcefulness ....love the dog

Beachfan

I have but one question: do you have to retrace your steps at some point to return “home”?  If so, I hope it goes better.  Sounds like it can’t get much worse.  Good luck !  Enjoy this getaway, if possible.

M1

Lynne, sounds like a nightmare, literally, and glad you all made it safely. Hopefully the neurologist can call something in.

Either you must be really tiny or the dog really big...picturing you in the dog bed.glad he was helpful.

Jo C.

Omigosh; I am so sorry - what a debacle!  Bless that sweet dog; what breed is he?  It sounds as though it is probably highly troubling and upsetting for your husband to now be in a different setting away from home; lost his routine and safe place and it came out in the dreadfuls as far as behavior.

Had to smile about making the dog bed. When we travel, I try to book rooms with two queen beds.   My DH snores like someone is paying him to do it and ear plugs are worthless due to the severe noise; nothing else to do but read a book with a tiny book light as I won't be sleeping.  Going on a trip is always great fun EXCEPT trying to sleep.   We were in Scotland when DH had worse snoring than ever.  Nothing helped.  I decided to try and sleep in the huge bathtub; put in padding of bedspread and blankets, but kept sliding down the tub as it was at a slight slant . . . then went to the closet and made a padded bed on the floor (kind of like your doggie bed), but to no avail; sound was still loud as could be.  Finally gave up and went back to bed and simply walked around in a semi-fog the next day.\

Have to say; you were quite patient and creative and the dog, amazing.

Here's hoping that you do not have to experience that again; not good to have to drive sleep deprived with such fatigue.  You have done a herculean job of managing it all.  Whew!

J.

FTDCaregiver

Thanks for sharing, your so brave.  Reading this, reminded me of similar situations of my DW trying to jump out of the car.