How to cope(1)

Daughter80

Hi. This is pretty new to me and I feel like I am letting it take over my mind. I work full time with my own business. Have teenage daughters and a husband. I want to do the best I can to help care for my mom. She was diagnosed 4 months ago. We moved her and her sister out last month to they could be close and we could help. She is so much worse than just months ago. I am thinking that I should cut back at work, see a counselor, just give it some time since it has only been a month..... I just can't seem to get away from thinking about my mom, what I can do to help and all of the worry that comes with this. I am struggling to sleep and once that happens there goes my physical and emotional health. Any advice for how to cope? Thanks so much.

Stuck in the middle

Daughter, I wish I had a daughter like you to help me.  

It helps me to remember the Serenity Prayer.  We pray for the courage to change the things we can, the patience to accept the things we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.  You have a lot of stress in your life without your mother's problems, and it will help to remember that a lot of it is out of your control.  If you didn't cause a problem and can't fix it, let it go.  

What you can do is consult a CELA about powers of attorney and start shopping for the memory care facility you may one day need.  Making preparations is a great stress reliever.

Daughter80

Hi Stuck in the Middle.  Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and your kind words.  I am on her paperwork of POA I believe, but will double check.  I also called a memory care place just yesterday to attempt a visit.  This has been something I have avoided to this point because honestly I was scared and thought we would have more time.  Not saying it is time, but I can see how knowing next steps would be good.  I did get home health care set up, but not scheduled so that gives me some peace of mind.  I will find and print a copy of the Serenity prayer.  I am a believer and know that if I lean into God that is exactly where I need to be.  Thank you for the reminder.  Blessings to you.

wyoming daughter

This disease is so overwhelming.  I have found that by learning as much as I can about the disease, its progression and what to expect, and then try to keep a step ahead, helps.  There are a couple of books, The 36 Hour Day, and I'm Still Here, and an article The Dementia Experience, all very helpful, just google.  Also, dementia expert Teepa Snow has many videos and articles on line. These boards are most helpful - for any reason, so much knowledge and compassion here.  I still think about my Mom constantly too, but not at bad as when we first lost dad and had to make major changes in our lives.   Hugs.

Daughter80

Thank you so much Wyoming Daughter.  Thank you for the recommendations. I have done so much research and reading of books and articles.  I will take her to a doctor tomorrow since she moved and needs a new GP and I have a list of 20 questions.  I wonder if I need to take a break from reading and researching.  I am a little hopeful that after I ask all of these questions that were a result of all of the reading and research maybe I can let some of it go.  You sound like a wonderful daughter and I am so sorry that you have had to go through this with both of your parents. Blessings