Christmas gathering?

Ed1937

We had everything planned to have the whole family over for Christmas, because this might be the last year my wife will be able to enjoy it with family. I didn't have to do any of the planning because one of our daughters was taking care of that. But now comes that damned Omicron! Our family has some that don't believe in the virus, and are not vaccinated, but most are. Everyone wants to do this for "grandma". Here's what we came up with:

Everyone will wear a mask while in the house, and they will use hand sanitizer when they come in. Although we planned on having a nice meal, that will not be part of it because you can't wear a mask while eating. There will be twenty something or thirty something people here, and at least six of which are high risk. This seems to be the best compromise. It will just be a family get together. We're gonna do it, and hope for the best.

Will you take part in a Christmas gathering?

jfkoc

Yes...masked.

June45

Have you had that many people in your home at one time since your wife's diagnosis? Will it be overwhelming for her?  The last time my daughter visited with her entire family of 4, it was too much for my husband and that was almost 2 ½ years ago. He went back to the office and shut the door...probably because of 2 very lively kids.  (Not having food at a Christmas gathering...well, that will be different.)

P.S. To answer your question, no, I probably wouldn't go for the planned party, not because of covid but because of too much confusion. If I did go, I would drop in just for a few minutes. Otherwise, I would plan to visit another time around Christmas when it is quieter. But that is just my personality.

JoseyWales

We'll go to Christmas gatherings. My family's will only be about 12 people, and we're all vaccinated or recently had Covid.  We'll participate unmasked.  DH and I are on the younger side - 50s - and DS was home WITH Covid about 2 months ago. We didn't catch it from him, thankfully. Or if we did, we were asymptomatic. 

I worry a bit about my parents, but they're not worried. 

If DH's side of the family gathers, we'll go there unmasked too. About 1/2 of his side is anti-vaccine. Some of them have already had Covid. 

I figure if I can go to school and work with dozens of kids every day, there's not much more risk in spending time with family.

Rescue mom

Our whole family is vaxxed and boosted, so that’s done. The bigger issue is that DH no longer tolerates more than a couple people at a time, even family. We had a family do at thanksgiving, with about 15-20 people, and he was fine for maybe 15-20 minutes, then—as June said—he started leaving the room and going off alone. We left pretty fast. This is the guy who was Mr. Social; used to host Christmas parties with 75-100 people.

At Christmas, they’re talking about coming here, but no more than a couple at one time. (Everyone lives nearby so distance isn’t an issue). The last time there were 5-6 people here—also family—DH did the same thing, leaving for a quiet room.

Ed1937

June45 wrote:

Have you had that many people in your home at one time since your wife's diagnosis?

No, we have not.

 Will it be overwhelming for her?  

No, I don't think so. In many ways, she's still her old self (fingers crossed). But that is certainly a consideration for many.

Quilting brings calm

No gatherings with my Mom and step-dad this year.

  For two reasons: they come off of isolation after his positive covid test just two days before Christmas.  Consider me a little cautious. Second/ I’m still in this neck and back brace.  Even an hour or two out and about is tiring for me.  Tried it yesterday. So it will be just be me, my spouse, older son, his wife and daughter and our younger son at our home.   Mostly cash/ gift cards this year.  Placing the order later today for sandwich and veggie trays. 

In most recent  years, we gathered at my BIL and his wife’s  home with both his and her sides of the families. They cancelled even before my accident due to the covid numbers.  Their adult son tested positive the same day my step-dad did. 

My MIL quit attending this gathering several years before her death.  She couldn’t take the noise from her great grandchildren and she didn’t like the fact that  it included people that she didn’t consider her family.  She claimed to have dementia but it was more being a drama queen than anything.  She handled all her own affairs until six months before her death. 

harshedbuzz

Dad's last Christmas we gathered at his place mostly so my mom would have some form of Christmas celebration. Dad was stage 6 at the time. Including my parents, we were 7. We scheduled it as a brunch to coincide with his "best" time of day. He hated it. He was miserable and complained about the food (telling my niece's SO that the waffles he made were "not his best work"), the gifts ("why would I want this?")and people in the house. Midway through the meal, he toddled off to the sofa and glowered at us. It took him about a week to regain his equilibrium. 

This year, we'll be a party of 6- mom, DH, DS and I are vaccinated & boostered 3-6 weeks out. My niece and her now husband are vaccinated and post-breakthrough-Covid (from an October wedding) and will be boostered 1 week. We'll have dinner; I will have windows cracked and running an air scrubber.

I don't let anyone unvaccinated near my mother. It's not worth the risk. Just no. A friend's mom died recently- it took almost 6 weeks and visitation was very limited. I wouldn't want that for my mom. 

HB

Marta

Is anyone testing prior to gathering, as recommended?

Ed1937

Marta wrote:

Is anyone testing prior to gathering, as recommended?

Our daughter and I talked about that. We both agree that if people won't get vaccinated to protect themselves, they probably won't get tested to protect others. I'd like to think that others would be truthful about being tested, but the stakes are pretty high.

Joydean

Our family is pretty small. Two daughters, a son in law, our son, his wife and our two granddaughters, 12 and 14. No little ones. We are doing brunch also. I’m praying my husband can enjoy it because his memory seems to be getting worse daily. 

Merry Christmas to all, and I pray each of us can enjoy our families being together! 

M1

We will be eight, six adults, a kindergartener and a two year old. All vaxed and boosted, even the two year old is in the pfizer trial though we don't know whether shes in the placebo arm or not. Fortunately its going to be about sixty, and we'll eat on the screen porch with a fireplace. The blowup Christmas tree goes up tomorrow. The whole shebang will only be about four hours. Doing it on the 22nd, as my son turns 30 on the 23rd and the children will go to their other grandparents on Christmas eve.  My son will take his girlfriend to the airport on Christmas eve and then spend a quiet Christmas day and Boxing day with us. We're all planning on rapid testing each day.

Hope all of you find a little holiday spirit. Just to have everyone together is a gift. And I hope all stay healthy and safe. 

Ed, maybe your folks could do rapid tests if they're willing and you can find them....

White Crane

Our family gathering took place at Thanksgiving.  There were 12 of us.  On Christmas, it will just be the two of us.  I hope your Christmas gathering goes well, Ed.

LadyTexan

DH's mobility has become so impaired that we are basically home bound. I have not decorated the house yet. Whatever I do in that regard will be simple.

Including DH and I, our nearby family total 8. All are vaxxed. At least 3 are boosted. I am getting boosted on Monday.  We mask in public but not at home. 

I am considering doing an open house, cookie exchange where the family members could briefly drop by, we exchange cookies and then they leave.

DH has his new recliner. I bought myself wool dryer balls. Hap the dog is getting dog treats. That's all we do for gifts. I'll figure out a meal...probably chicken pot pie or pot roast.

I'm not into a social holiday. I have a disturbed feeling that this may be the last holiday DH enjoys at home. That wears heavy on my heart. I have always been prone to the holiday blues and this season seems especially hard so far. I am trying to push down those feelings and make it a nice holiday for DH.....sounds like I need to verbalize gratitude and I will....stay tuned.

God's blessing to you and your loved ones. Whatever you do, enjoy and be safe.

French

We will go to my parents ne we will spend 3 days there.

- we just had the booster yesterday 

- my parents had the booster at the end of October, my grandmother too.

-My 3 children were vaccinated in august or September as well as my sisters children, but one who is 6. For the moment here you can’t vaccinate your child before 12, unless they have serious health issue.

- My sisters are vaccinated and had their booster this week too. One of my BIL is vaccinated is vaccinated, the other doesn’t want. I think he won’t come, but not sure. 

The main risk is the little girl of six. Holidays have begun yesterday and my sister will isolate her till Christmas.

We will gather, we will live in the same house during 3 days. We vaccinated to continue to live, and it is important for us, more than going in shops or to cinema, theater…

My grand mother absolutely wants kisses and hugs. During 6 months I refused and when my grandfather died (not from covid, just because he was old, 98), one year ago, I regretted. It was so important for him. My grand mother wanted the vaccine so that we can visit her, kiss and hug her.

Moreover, to go to Tunisia on the 26th, we will have to test on the 24th… we will be sure.

DrinaJGB

I don't think so. Not after our healthy 30 something fully vaxed SIL had a breakthrough with resulting blood clot. Think we will once again sit this one out.

harshedbuzz

Marta wrote:

Is anyone testing prior to gathering, as recommended?

My niece did this with her husband's family just last week. Her husband is one of 11, plus SOs and grandchildren. Everyone who could be vaccinated was. Most were also boosted. The cost of admission was a rapid antigen test on arrival which my niece bought. They cost more than the meal at $25/2 kits. But they celebrated and a week out, no one has become ill. 

My niece and her DH (a groomsman) did contract COVID at a friend's wedding in October Pre-Omicron and when numbers were much lower locally. They had both had the J&J vaccine which was the first available to them. The bride had rescheduled 3 times and insisted all who attended send her a copy of their vaccine card. Everyone complied except for her dad. One of the groomsmen flew in from the west coast and showed symptoms after the bachelor party- he normally abstains and just thought he was hung over. He did not attend the wedding, but the day after the wedding another vaccinated groomsman tested positive on a random workplace PCR test. Monday my niece felt like she was coming down with a sinus infection and tested positive. She called her DH who also tested positive. By Wednesday there were at least 8 people who did attend the wedding positive including the bride and her dad. 

Unfortunately, with a large uptick in cases, it has become increasingly difficult to get tested. My son works a public facing job where mask compliance is regulated by federal mandates, three of his coworkers tested positive. He seems to have come down with man-cold. (a regular cold but so much worse when DH or DS have one) We did do 2 rapid antigen tests which are negative. I would dearly love to get him a PCR but can't find an open appointment but can't get an appointment until Christmas Eve. My local CVS is out of rapid tests right now and the prices on amazon are higher than they'd been. 

Mint

Will sit this one out too.  Will be alone and thankful that Jesus was born.  Hard for me to enjoy anything that can be so harmful to someone else or me, cause health care workers to be even more burdened, certain critical medical supplies be made to be even more shorter.

Several people I know of have died this past year.  A 49 yo died Dec 18, 2020.  She was seeming to do good, getting ready to be discharged and quickly arrested.  Did not ask, guessing blood clot.   A man I’ve known for years died 12/15/2021 and his wife is battling.  Know his wife is vaccinated, believe he was too.  They both had comorbidities.  They chose to be around people that were unvaccinated as they knew they didn’t have years to live.  People unvaccinated chose to be around them.  Did not follow other precautions either ie N95.  They have struggled to breathe for around 3-4 weeks now.  It increased the heart issues of one of them significantly.  This is the three I know the best of several.  Know these are hard decisions but for me personally I don’t want another burden to carry.  The load is already heavy enough for me.

billS

We turned down an invitation for a neighborhood Christmas party knowing there would be lots of laughter, "close talking" hugging etc. and no tactful way of knowing whether everyone would be vaccinated. But we will be going to dinner at the home of two very careful friends who take precautions, maintain distance and wear masks when not eating.

abc123

I hope that everyone will experience at least, a moment of joy and peace as we celebrate the birth of Christ. I know, for me, this is the most difficult Christmas season I have ever had. So many things to consider and so many new problems to anticipate. 

Merry Christmas to you all.

I will be home, me and my dogs. My parents will be at their home, many hours away, with caregivers and hospice workers coming and going. 

Rescue mom

Re: question about testing before gathering….getting tested now is almost like trying to find the vax a year ago. Testing centers have hours of waiting, they’re so crowded. Docs say on news many of those seeking tests are in fact negative, but sick with a flu-like, Covid-like illness. But still makes it harder to get tested.

Local stores have been out of home test kits. I was picking up a scrip in my local grocery pharmacy, when they put up a sign saying test kits just came in, $30 for a 2-test kit. An hour later, they were sold out. I asked how many, they said “two big boxes”, so I don’t know exactly but pharmacists were amazed how fast they went.

Kind of interesting that last season there was almost no flu, but this year —after my area, certainly, has relaxed masking,etc., and many/most are vaxxed—flu is being called a major problem. Docs said this flu is as bad/worse now here than covid in number, although certainly not in severity. In other words, more bad flu cases than bad Covid cases, if I understood correctly.

Joydean

Wow, a major price difference in the test kits, here Texas, when you can find them, $56. for package of 2! This is not a new price, my daughter in law bought it a month ago and it was the same price.

Jo C.

Just my own take on such concerns, and these will be my own flights of ideas popping up while I type:

Seduction . . .

"It" is invisible; COVID cannot be seen, heard, touched, felt, tasted, smelled . . . . totally invisible in every way on all fronts.  And therein lies the seduction . . . . we begin to feel all is okay and even for me, sometimes it does indeed feel as though there is nothing amiss and all is okay and "normal" as in, "before COVID" time  . . .

This is where the danger lies.  That seduction and our own ability to minimize or even fool ourselves.  We are human and fallible.  And hopeful; "hope springs eternal," as the saying goes.

By the way in the news today; the primary influenza that is spreading is NOT part of the influenza vaccine that was made for the season. Still good idea to get the vaccines for other influenzas, but we are not covered for the larger spread of the primary disease.  More reason to take precautions.

The COVID infection rate as well as the hospitalization rate has soared across the country and is expected to reach dreadfully high numbers including hospitalization and deaths the weeks following the holiday season - and - COVID19 has not disappeared; it is still the number one cause of COVID infection and the number one cause of breakthrough cases and number one cause of hospitalization, COVID deaths and the horrific long haul syndromes. Even in some breakthroughs. 

NOTE:  This week, the UK has seen seven deaths from the Omicron variant and have scores of people hospitalized with Omicron.  Some of this has been with fully vaccinated and boosted people.  They are moving toward a very high state of closing things down again and re-instituting far stricter preventive standards.

CDC just came out today relating that we have not had sufficient time to know what this new variant that has 30 spikes - (30!) will ultimately do.  We just do not have sufficient data and it will take time to obtain such data; that will happen after the holidays have passed.  The early cases here have been in mostly young, healthy people.  There is also the spector that with Omicron there seems to also possibly be long haul syndrome.

Dr. Fauci stated last week that he would not eat in a restaurant at this time. This morning, in interview, a UCLA Epidemiology specialist physician did ask and relate as far as gatherings; what is your tolerance for risk?  Do you have elderly family members who are at much higher risk whether vaccinated or not . . . . do you have family members with co-morbidities such as chronic medical conditions even such as simple as diabetes that are vaccinated or not?  These are all people at much higher risk.  Will you, as recommended, ask guests to be tested the day of the gathering to ascertain whether or not they are infected with COVID or breakthrough infection?  Some of these people will be asymptomatic or with very low grade symptoms not yet felt.  Yet . . . they still spread the illness to others. And also true; there can be false readings with the OTC testing packets; yet, the OTC testing is much better than nothing.

Especially in larger groups and heavier concern if there are unvaccinated people in the group:  How much will people leave their masks on in the house and are they effective masks . . . and are they diligent enough to ensure the mask covers their noses as well as their mouths and that the masks fit snugly about the face and nose?  And . . . . when eating and drinking; off come the masks - where are all the high risk people when that is happening?   If drinks are served and snacks, hors doeuvres are placed for snacking prior to the buffet or dinner; then masks are off then too. It can be a potential mine field for exposure.

NO serving anything like a dip that can lead to double dipping!

If it were a small gathering, and all were vaccinated and boostered at least a full two weeks prior to the gathering, I would not feel as deeply concerned.  Because of my background and what I do,  even though if gathering in fair confidence, I would still want to mask due to breakthrough concerns.  People can carry and spread the virus two to three days before they have the first symptoms of their own illness.

If I had a large gathering, and a half dozen or more who were going to attend were not vaccinated, I would not be pretending all was okay and enable them . . . they would NOT attend unless tested and for them, I would not take the chance of error rate of OTC tests, I would want them to have the full PCR test two days prior to the event.  Lives could be at stake.

While human life is of primary concern, and we want no one to get ill; and if they do, we so hope it is a light case; BUT so many are  heavy cases, even in the younger adults who had been healthy . . . many will end up hospitalized.  We pray for their survival and well-being.  However, even if surviving, there is the very real issue of Long Haul Syndromes that can be debilitating and in some people that will sadly be permanent.

AND the last item that has begun to surface, and that is; even if one survives and goes home to recuperate, the cost of care even if insured can be horrendous.  Big time insurance deductibles, co-pays, items not covered . . . AND if one becomes ill in December 2021, and continues ill in January 2022, many insurance policies have a NEW deductible for the new year.  So many insured have deductibles in the thousands of dollars.  This is something no one really thinks about until they suddenly have to think about it after the fact.  If poorly insured or not insured . . . . . it is another issue altogether.

These are difficult times involving the spirit and our humanity within our families and with all friends and LOs.   If gathering for us, it would have had to have been small gathering only; all precautions taken and following all advice as having been provided as Marta tells us.

No matter the choices, may everyone have a Happy Holiday and may all be well.

J.
 

Ed1937

M1, we have something else in common. Change of plans for us too. We won't be having the gathering for Christmas, but our daughter is trying to set up a zoom meeting. With this explosion of Covid, this might be the best bet. I really wanted to have it, but with unvaxxed people, and at least six high risk, the risk seems greater than the benefit.

I hope we can all find a way to have a joyful Christmas.

Marta

Good move, Ed. 

My family did not gather at Thanksgiving, nor will we at Christmas. We have a three year old and a one year old - just not worth the risk. 

M1

Ed I’m sure we’re not alone. My partner is sad about the change, but it’s the right decision. She wouldn’t enjoy it. I’m just hoping we are okay with our small gathering-unable to find rapid tests, and my son and his girlfriend were on a plane today. Plus it’s getting dicey to leave my partner by herself for very long.

Stuck in the middle

Christmas will be DW, DS, and me, just as if there were no pandemic.

Josie in Podunk

No Christmas gathering here.  Handyman no longer enjoys the big, rowdy, child-filled gatherings our crew can be.  Illness is only the secondary concern.  The family is a melange of unvaxxed and slow to vax with only ourselves and my son, who works at a hospital, being fully vaxxed.

Concern is his confusion, lack of understanding of spoken words both due to the dementia as well as refusal to wear hearing aids.  Too many conversations coming in at one time are stressful to him as they become all jumbled.  He will leave for a while, come back, and leave again, repeating the pattern until all are gone.  I don’t mind it, but not all the members understand despite knowing his challenges, take it personal, and get huffy.  I will not have them making sly remarks that he might possibly overhear, understand, and be hurt by.

Instead, I have invited them to visit in their small family unit for a short period during the entirety of the holiday season.  He will enjoy that.  He likes small groups and loves to talk with them at that size.

This way there is no stress for him and little for me in food prep for a large group and minimal cleanup after.

So, we will be two and that is fine by me.

Jo C.

All of our adult children live out of state with the exception of one.  He is an excellent cook and enjoys doing so much to his wife's smiles.

He called to say that Christmas Eve he will be dropping off his famous Beef Bourguignon for our dinner along with wine and rolls.  Oh my.   He will not however, enter the house. He is a law enforcement officer and his station has, this week, had a large outbreak of COVID: does not know the type as yet. So many of the officers are unvaccinated as are so many of the firemen and firewomen.  Can't figure that out.

So we shall not be able to visit or hug dear son, but the gift of the heart is being delivered which is deeply appreciated.  Sure do love him; just wish I could hug him but even though we are all fully vaccinated and boosted, he will not let us near him as he feels too much concern on our behalf as his Dad has Diabetes and we are; ahem, more "mature."

So . . . a happy note to Christmas and lots of telephone calls with the out of state kids and grandkids.

Happy Christmas Day wishes being sent to one and all,

J.