Refusal to see a doctor

Lizzielou

After waiting months for an appointment with a neurologist DH refuses to go.  I have read other posts on how a situation like this is handled and I tried them all (the appointment is for me but you need to go to answer questions, and his cardiologist wanted him to see his partner,  and offering to take him out to a nice brunch afterwards).  Do I give up, try to reschedule, keep trying?  His cardiologist tentatively diagnosed him with FT dementia.  His behavior is inappropriate in public so we don’t go out very much.  I’m not sure an appointment with a neurologist would help.  DH probably would not take any recommended medications or do the extensive tests either.  I’m so tired of fighting the daily battles though I am getting better at fiblets. I try always to keep him calm and happy.  I wish someone would do the same for me.

sandwichone123

Lizzielou, I would not fight that battle if it were me. My dh put up with all the diagnostics, but now refuses all medical care, including for his other chronic conditions. In my opinion, he has every right to do that, as he does understand what he has and what that means.

Joydean

Lizzielou, when my husband was testing he became so frustrated that 30 minutes into it, he told the doctor I don’t have to do this, nothing is wrong with me. The doctor did have the MRI to look at, but the testing was over. DH could not have spent all the hours it would have taken to start with. We do see his psychiatrist every 3 months, DH doesn’t know, he just thinks a dr visit. 

Best of luck to you! 

markus8174

Although my DW's diagnosis was AD not FTD it has many of the same problems. We stopped going to doctor appointments in the later stages of my DW's illness while she was at home. They just upset her and if the doctor didn't know what dementia problem she needed treatment from by my discription, it was likely a waste of time anyway. As far as new doctors and diagnostic tests were concerned, I had to pick my battles. If there wasn't a good hope that a path for improvement would emerge from the tests, there was no reason to do them. I always asked what theraputic reason there was for any test/visit. If it was purely diagnostic or routine follow-up, without the possibility for improved course of treatment,  the answer was no.

michiganpat

Lizzielou, My DH was tested by his primary care doctor at my request. DH didn't know I asked. She said results showed MCI but it is way past that. He has accused me of cheating on him, repeats constantly, doesn't recognize people he should, gets confused, etc. We need his agreement for any further testing. He was so upset after the appointment and talked about it for days, saying he would never have another "brain test".  He doesn't like going to the doctor to start with. I have talked to our 4 children and have decided to leave things be. Most PWD don't believe their diagnosis anyways. I can see nothing to be gained by putting him thru hours of testing when there is no treatment. There may become a time when testing is needed as he may eventually need medication. Until then I am going to take one day at a time. There is no easy or right answer. We can only do the best we can. Good luck and prayers. It is a sad journey we are on.

Paris20

One reason to see a neurologist is to get meds. My husband has anasognosia. In other words, he thinks he’s all right but isn’t. In his early stages, we went to the neurologist. He did a few tests, prescribed a couple of drugs, and told us to return in six months. Ever since Covid, our appointments are through telemedicine. They last about five minutes and have become all but useless. My husband tells the doctor that his diagnosis is wrong and that’s about it. I try to explain the worsening of DH’s symptoms but that can lead to agitation and anger, so I communicate with the doctor via the patient portal. When my husband’s behavior became very aggressive, the doctor put him on Seroquel, an antipsychotic. Have you spoken to your PCP about medications? Maybe he/she can get your husband to agree to a visit to a neurologist. Could you try telemed? You have your hands full.