Outside of home and Bedtime

WolverineGirl2

Anyone else’s loved one do better OUTSIDE of the home. My boyfriend and I take Mom out as much as we can. We are noticing now that she does so much better out. Tonight we went to see Christmas lights. Of course she was mad as a hornet at me when we stopped at boyfriends house and I made her use the bathroom. Wouldn’t talk for about 45 minutes. Very short “yes” and “no” answers.  She finally did loosen up and enjoy her night out. Then the dreaded being at home. Boyfriend leaves and I sit the rest of the evening praying things to okay. 

When it’s a work night, I have been trying to get to bed around ten. Then I’ve at least gotten a few hours before I’m up again to coax mom into bed. She comes up with every excuse in the book. Never wants to sleep. Tonight I wake up at 1am to hallway light, bathroom light, porch lights and her bedroom lights on. I slowly go in and of course it’s the “how am I gonna move all this stuff??? They want this stuff out” speech. She nightly believes she’s not “home” and is going to move everything home. I cleaned her room out last week when she was out with friends but now what’s left she now believes needs to take home. Last week I came home to pile of shoes and clothes on the sidewalk. 

Doctors appointment FINALLY on Wednesday. I see light at the end of the tunnel. Her meds haven’t been changed in 12 years but the decline this past year needs addressed. I pray for some medication changes….I’m so exhausted 

M1

WG, her doing better when out and about is probably a version of showtiming-if you read about this, its pretty common. I wonder if there's a day program near you that she would like, though I suspect the new covid wave may shut these down again in many areas.

My partner s sleep has been much improved by giving her 25 mg of Seroquel at bedtime. For your mom, it not only might help her sleep but could also lessen the agitation and delusions. Definitely worth describing the behaviors in detail and asking about. Good luck-

Iris L.

WolverineGirl2 wrote:

 Of course she was mad as a hornet at me when we stopped at boyfriends house and I made her use the bathroom. Wouldn’t talk for about 45 minutes. Very short “yes” and “no” answers.  She finally did loosen up and enjoy her night out. 

You interpret her silence as being mad as a hornet.  It is possible that her silence was due to her being discombobulated at being in a strange place to void, and she was turned around and unsettled.  

Iris L.

sandwichone123

I'll second Iris's suggestion. I used to think my dh was really mad a lot of the time, especially in the evening, but it turns out that when his muscles relax (when he's tired) it looks like this grump face. Once I realized it was about losing muscle tone, it was much easier for me not to take it personally and to give him time/space to either lie down or to regain his energy to enjoy the activity.