I hate my life and I want to either her to die or myself.

mommyandme (m&m)

Something you said, which may have been addressed, caught my attention.  I didn’t want to forget my thought, so haven’t read each response yet. 

You’re not responsible to keep her “safe and healthy”. Hasn’t health kinda sailed already? I think “safe and comfortable” is my goal.  Does she have a DNR? 

I think about those that their LO broke a hip, they didn’t get them surgery but made sure they were comfortable until the end.  That would be my plan for my mom.  Isn’t it the same for chronic UTIs or Pneumonia, even cancer or covid? 

hmmmm.

Unknown By Man

The sad thing is my mom is healthier then most people, all her numbers are near perfect, she walks for miles everyday, and with COVID I did set her up with a small home in my old room. Free weights, treadmill, squat rack, etc . . . She does not move insane amount of weight she is 70 but outside of her having crap all for working memory she is generally is good health. Yes I do have the door to my room digitally locked and she is only allowed to go in when I am present. Granted I also enjoy working out so it is one of the few things we can share. 

Which is also makes placement rough since many of freedoms she currently has she will not be afforded in most insurance covered placement, especially with memory care. 

Currently I have my eyes on placement where the entire complex is memory care so it is not just a single floor. I have even found one that legit is more like an apartment complex working gym, closed off outdoor area. Though they do not accept Medicare at all. 

Yes, she does have a DNR, it is both a blessing and curse that she has not gotten to the stage of chronic UTI’s yet, messed up part I pet I am in worse off health due to all my stress and she is perfectly fine due to the fact she has no stress for the most part. This is heaven to her having someone way hand and foot on her. Main reason I have a hard time keeping private aid, she tends to refer to them as the help, servants etc . . . Outside the racist remarks. Not fun, to say the least. 

Though yes she has a DNR, hell I did not want to get her vaccinated in hopes maybe she would get COVID, dark I know. Though her doctor asked her and she said yes, so she got it. Yes if she catches anything I am not going to treat it and will let nature choose. Though with how healthy she is probably going to outlive me. 

Also I did not know that many places do not accommodate vegan friendly meals, My mother has been vegan since I was a child so 28 years, which is another factor that makes it hard for her to get placement since she will not eat her food unless she can be 100% it is vegan friendly.

She is a PITA. 

mommyandme (m&m)

I understand and wish for some stressless times for you.

Unknown By Man

Good times yesterday I was just told by another MC facility that unfortunately they cannot take my mother. Was also informed what I already knew but still hurt that my best bet is just have her placed in Medicaid SNF and try not to worry about the care or treatment and view  it like hospis, cause she simply has way too much going on with her. They will do everything they can to keep her comfortable but for the most part will be through the use of drugs. 

They mentioned the ideal with be in home care but without money that is not going to work. Either way I still looking I am going to be touring a bunch of places today.