OMG! DH had total meltdown

Paris20

Last night my husband went berserk. His aide took our dog out. My husband then went to take her out. I stupidly mentioned that the aide had taken care of it. He went wild, calling his aide the most awful things, cursing, yelling, screaming while I begged him to stop. That only led to his attacking me. Thank God he didn’t become physical but I worry that as he worsens, he may kick this lunacy up a notch.

I contacted the neurologist on the patient portal, the fastest method by far. However, it’s Christmas and I don’t expect a response anytime soon. DH is already on an antidepressant and a low dose of Seroquel, an antipsychotic. I’ve read on these boards that upping the dose is often required. I asked the doctor if we can do that. I spoke to my daughters, who are worried about me, the aide, and their father. One of my kids said, «Oh, cr@p, he’ll get kicked out of memory care if he behaves this way.» I’m asking to do what MC facilities would do, medicate him. I was so against it a couple of years ago. Now I know why it’s prescribed. A broken brain cannot be fixed with talking, reasoning, prayer, kind cajoling, reward or punishment. I’ve concluded that whatever works and keeps him safe is what I have to do. Seroquel, take him (& me) away.

June45

Paris20 wrote:

 I’m asking to do what MC facilities would do, medicate him. I was so against it a couple of years ago. Now I know why it’s prescribed. A broken brain cannot be fixed with talking, reasoning, prayer, kind cajoling, reward or punishment. I’ve concluded that whatever works and keeps him safe is what I have to do. Seroquel, take him (& me) away.

I agree with you Paris.  I am so sorry that you are going through this especially at Christmas with everybody inaccessible!  Stress big time!

abc123

Dear Paris, I'm so sorry this happened! You are doing everything you possibly can to take the best care of him. Sometimes the medication is the only way to help our loved ones. I can't speak for others but I will say that if I were in your position, I would increase his meds asap. I'd be worried sick that he would have another episode and hurt himself or someone else. You are in my prayers. I hope your dear husband will have a good day today!

M1

Paris, with my MD hat on:  if you can't get hold of his docs, you will not do harm if you want to try to up the Seroquel dose in small increments, say 12.5-25 mg at a time.  Maybe that will get you through the weekend.  Please be careful and stay safe, call for help if you need to.  You can only do so much.  Keep that cell phone charged and in your pocket, and know what door you can lock, right?  Will be thinking of you.  So sorry.

Paris20

Thank you all so much. Today was a better day. He slept past noon, giving me and his aide a peaceful morning. She and I had a good talk. When he finally came downstairs all was quiet. I initiated no new subjects, did not turn on the news, which often precipitates DH’s anger (mine too). The aide prepared DH’s favorite breakfast, and it’s all been OK so far. The aide is preparing a Christmas feast, with many delicacies from her country. I’m really looking forward to it. If DH doesn’t criticize the food before he even tastes it, as he’s done before, we have a chance to have a nice time, which would be a great gift for all of us.

jfkoc

No medical hat but I concur from my own experiance and what has been said here for years. Tritate up and remember no corrections, explanations, reassoning etc. Just nod OK and occasionally say hmmm or I know,

Do take safety precautions...charged cell phone...safe room etc. It would be a good idea to get a charger for the safe room.

Ed1937

I have no medical background, so I won't comment on medications. But you really have to be careful if the episodes seem to be getting more pronounced. Your safety in number one. Good thoughts coming your way. I hope Christmas is good for both of you.

ButterflyWings

Dear Paris- gosh I know how that feels! Like a slap in the face although it is not a physical attack. It feels like the next thing and leaves you walking on eggshells which is so very stressful. 

I am not a medical professional so I will just share what our instructions have been from DH’s neuropsych. It is exactly what (Dr.) M1 confirmed and jfkoc & abc123 have stated. Once it was clear that my LO tolerates Seroquel and had been taking it for some time his doc gave me permission to increase the dosage slightly if needed, which we have done periodically. 

For us, the instructions are his regular 3x daily dosage and +25mg as needed. I also confer with his doc or the on-call after hours sub when we have had to take that action (twice in the last year).  ** Can you call the office and ask the answering service to have the covering Dr give you a call this evening? No reason to wait if they are available and you will rest easier knowing that you are helping your LO (and all of you) with his doc’s input. Maybe they will give you that “as needed” language on the actual prescription or at least up the dosage so you do not run out too soon. That can cause issues later if so while you wait for a refill!

Lastly, we have experienced sudden explosive behavior like that when my DH had a silent UTI. Worth checking if his agitation returns. I think you are doing the right thing with the same attitude adjustment I experienced — meds are sometimes needed with a brain disease like dementia, and if it gives my LO relief from his terminal illness I am all for it, as one tool on this journey. Seroquel has made it possible to keep him at home, him safe and me sane-(ish)  I am grateful we have these options.

I pray the rest of your week goes well. 

Crushed

Paris20 wrote:

 I’m asking to do what MC facilities would do, medicate him. I was so against it a couple of years ago. Now I know why it’s prescribed. A broken brain cannot be fixed with talking, reasoning, prayer, kind cajoling, reward or punishment. I’ve concluded that whatever works and keeps him safe is what I have to do. Seroquel, take him (& me) away.

The debate over "chemical restraints" is endless but I would  not assume that a MC would just medicate a difficult patient, 

Joydean

French, I pray everything goes well for you and your family. I remember you said you were going to spend the weekend with your family, I hope that still goes well . Stay safe as others have said, that’s the important part. Wishing you a happy Christmas! 

Daizey

My husband recently started a low dosage of Seroquel because of night rages. He would wake up every night during the night in a rage, yelling at me, hitting walls and doors, threatening (but never hurting) me. I too was afraid of the possibility of the behaviors escalating. The Rx has made such a difference! He still wakes up, but he is pleasant and willing to go back to bed.

Stuck in the middle

June45 wrote:

Paris20 wrote:

 I’m asking to do what MC facilities would do, medicate him. I was so against it a couple of years ago. Now I know why it’s prescribed. A broken brain cannot be fixed with talking, reasoning, prayer, kind cajoling, reward or punishment. I’ve concluded that whatever works and keeps him safe is what I have to do. Seroquel, take him (& me) away.

I agree with you Paris.  I am so sorry that you are going through this especially at Christmas with everybody inaccessible!  Stress big time!

Yes, and don't apologize for it.  These behaviors are almost as unpleasant for the PWD as for the caretakers.  I don't want to skip my antidepressants, and my son wants his antipsychotics.  He doesn't want to hear the voices any more than I want to deal with the uncontrolled behavior.