Don’t know what to tell him- our wackiest XMas eve ever

ButterflyWings

This is just a ramble. Not ranting or venting. Just reflecting on the randomness of this roller coaster ride. And working to be grateful it is not worse at the moment. 

My DH has me stumped right now. He is alternating between nonsense sentences and serious questions based on delusions about who I am (who he is!), where we are (home), and what is to happen next.

All day he has alternated between cooperation and absolute noncompliance with whiplash speed. Tried to barricade himself in the bathroom earlier (well, it was more to keep me out actually), then calmly accepted my help with the first full sponge bath in at least a month (YAY) after peeing all over stuff while seated on the toilet without my help to be sure things were aimed in the right direction. Which is why I always go with him to the toilet these days. At least he got clean for the holidays. And I get to see if our shower curtain will survive the washer with the rest of the excess laundry.

This morning I was going to write down some of the mixed-up dialogue but couldn’t keep up. I feel so sorry for this formerly brilliant public speaker. All morning he would start a sentence and then pause...and either just give up, or finish it with something that leaves me with no clue what he is trying to convey.

Then a brain shift happens and he can suddenly retrieve the words, but the idea is so off. For example after the sponge bath (birthday suit and all of course), he casually inquired if I knew his wife (?!?). Asked me to go get her from the next room so they/we could talk because he thought we would get along (?).  I tried something learned on these boards: left the room, changed my shirt & hair (undid the bun, grabbed a headband)- walked back in & he started telling me about the other lady. Sigh. The first time that happened I was DEVASTATED (could it really have been just last year?!)- today all I felt was relief. It might even be the best Christmas gift I’ll get this year. A non-catastrophic response at sundowning time. I’ll take it.

Then, with holiday music playing in the background, a moment ago DH looked at me very soberly, looking and sounding exactly like his pre-AD self,  and said “so tell me truthfully”... I did not know what was coming, (realized later I was actually holding my breath) but did not expect this: “So what are you thinking about the best way for us to get home from this place?

I did not even know what to say. Running out of deflections here. I mumbled something like “hmm, not sure, what are you thinking?” I don’t think he replied and it’s just as well— I might be even more confused than he right now. Wishing you all peace and some joyful moments if possible, this season. 

SusanB-dil

Hi Butterfly - Frustrating! ain't it, though?!!   {{HUG}}

easy23

Hi Butterfly - I am going through the same thing as you. My DH thinks I am different people throughout the day and he thinks we live in more than one house. The neurologist called it Delusional Misidentification Syndrome. I have done some research and I think the subgroups are Capgras Syndrome and Reduplicative Paramnesia. They go hand-in-hand.

In addition to doing what you did, leaving the room and walking back in as a different person, I also call my DH on his cell and tell him that I'm on the way home and will be there soon. That seems to trick his mind into recognizing me when I walk into the room. I feel for you. It is very distressing to deal with this on an ongoing basis.

Happy Holidays!

Tfreedz

Thank you for sharing that Butterfly! 

Sometimes I feel like I am always on edge, not knowing which mood or dialogue my Mom will be in from moment to moment. It is so hard to describe to someone who isn’t going through it. I try to keep my facial expressions extremely neutral and relaxed when she starts talking off the wall. Like you, I find I hold my breath a lot without even realizing it. 

mommyandme (m&m)

Thank you for sharing this!  Seriously I have the chills I’m so thankful.  Truly touched my heart and my life.  Merry Christmas!