Overwhelmed where do I start.

GennyGirl

I live with my mom and is in early Alzheimer’s or dementia. Reading everything I can find to understand. My mom had fallen numerous times an last fall she fractured two ribs which led to pneumonia and delirium something that was so hard and horrible to watch. 

She is now in rehab and suffering from a lot of what they call sundowning. So hard to see my mother react in ways that are not normally her.

Just trying to wrap my brain on all of this. I’m making lists of things I need to do. I am having frequent migraines and problems sleeping. Times I wonder how will I handle all f this. 

Any suggestions are my feelings normal. Ugh

Daughter80

So very very hard GinnyGirl and absolutely normal. It is a lot to watch a loved one struggle and feel like parts of them are gone. I am very new to all of this myself, but lack of sleep has become a norm. I just can’t stop worrying. The only thing I can say is that I made those lists and as I have come to learn, so much is out of my control. I gave myself some grace and just wallowed and studied for about a month. Learning all I could and doing everything I could to fix. I wanted to make everything better, but I can’t.   Just do what you can.  I can take care of myself and I have to. This is so important. Getting to the gym is my time and a mandatory. This helps me sleep better too. I can work to give my mom joy.  Music and conversation are things that make her happy  Someone on here told me to recite the serenity prayer  I actually got a copy on a pretty sign and put it next to my bed.  Get help if you can.  Accept help.  Prayers for you and your mom. 

jfkoc

Oh, so normal.

Your mother has now been in two different setting which have no training for treating persons with dementia. Hospital "delerium" is real. She may or may not fully recover to the place she was before the hospitalizations.

It would be great if you could  hire someone to be with her. Better yet get her  home.

What kinds of things are on your do list? Maybe we can help.

PickledCondiment

Welcome to the forum, post early and often.  Everyone here has been and is going on this journey.  You're not alone.

Regarding lists, an excellent idea. (I have lists of lists.)  If you are technology savvy, a list can be a great way to organize your thoughts, goals, etc. You can always carve out into sublists by type, etc.

First, make sure sure her (and your) legal affairs are in order.  Make an appointment with a Certified Elder Lawyer (self.org) to ensure you've have her affairs in order. 

Second, take care of yourself.  Go to the gym, see friends, keep being human.  Caring for a LO is a marathon, not a sprint.  You will need all the physical and mental stamina you can muster.  Keeping up your energy (mental and physical) is paramount. 

Third, keep reading and researching.  More knowledge is better, you can always discard what doesn't work for your specific situation.  If possible, read her medical records to determine her medical status.  Making an appointment w/her PCP to have current information may be applicable. 

Please keep posting.  We're all here for one another and learn from one another.