Rob's mini rant

RobertsBrown

I can do all this, and I  don't mind any of it, except the resistance to accept care. Refusing to take a shower, wear clothes, accept bathroom help, etc. makes all these already difficult things into emotional conflicts that are absolutely unnecessary.

ButterflyWings

Rob, I hear ya!

We just returned to bed after using the bathroom (well, actually, he used the floor— in the bathroom). *It is actually the most compliant time of day since he’s still half asleep, but still his instinct is to pull away and resist my help with aiming, cleaning, pulling up or changing depends, fastening clothes, etc. 

I’m going to practice asking my beloved (but oh so irritating when he is being belligerent) DH to help me (though it’s the other way around) and thanking him profusely this month and see what happens. Since I have to go ahead & handle things anyway, maybe that (combined with his seroquel) will make for fewer tugs-of-war. 

That’s just for toileting and dressing. He won the shower battle. It is effectively off the table. So, I sponge bathe whatever part/s I can get to quickly, during the week. Lots of no rinse bath and shampoo products, disposable washcloths and relaxing our standards from what used to be. Dementia sucks. 

Good luck to you!

tcrosse

Rob,  I know exactly what you mean. My DW is 75 going on 2 years old. She fights hammer and tongs when I try to change her Depends, so I've learned to sneak up behind her and pull down her pants. By the time they're down to her knees, it's too late to put up much of a fight. 

Courage.

Ed1937

The resistance is a lot harder than cleaning up from bathroom mishaps. Logic doesn't work. Asking nicely doesn't work. Begging doesn't work. Sometimes the only thing that works is physically forcing her. And I really hate to do that. WE HEAR YOU!