independent living to assisted living

1934

My DW has been diagnosed for about four years. About nine months ago I realized I could not give her proper care and still maintain my home. I decided to move into a retirement community and be in independent living. It was a great decision as she is happy to be around people and loves the "Happy Hour" (she doesn't drink) but loves to sing and dance. It has been much easier for me and I have nurses around if I need them (and I have).

However, she has gotten much worse. She sleeps about 15 hours a day, doesn't know me much of the time and requires full time care from me. I am considering changing to assisted living so I can get more help. I have thought about memory care for her but hate to be apart from her and when the few hours she is "normal" things are fine and I know she is happy here. I may try this and see if it works.

Has anyone else tried this route? 

June45

1934, I assume that you will be moving into assisted living with your wife.  My mom did that for my dad because she wanted to be with him but he needed more help. It worked out quite well for them. My mom was able to go out and shop and not worry about him.  After my dad passed while residing in assisted living, my mom moved out and went back to an independent apartment.

Quilting brings calm

My parents are in assisted living together.  

Similarities between independent  and assisted living - 

   You can have a car and come and go as you please ( unless there are covid restrictions) 

    Apartment of your own, microwave and  refrigerator 

     Dining room meals ( in some independent facilities, not all)  

      Housekeeping  

Here is what I see are the differences between independent and assisted living.

   A/s-  staffed 24/7/365. LPN weekdays to help coordinate medical care 

             Transport to local doctor appointments if desired 

              Medication management if desired 

               Laundry - including clothing 

               Shower and dressing  help if needed 

              No stove in apartment 

              Overnight room checks ( in case you fall) 

              Call pendants to call staff to your room even just to fix your tv. 

              More activities  

              Your spouse will be supervised while you run errands or go out for coffee.      

My parents pay a full fee for the first person and  a much lower companion fee for the second.  Basically it’s $750 more for two people in the apartment than it is for one person.  Their facility is all inclusive,  no need to pay more as the assistance level rises. 

JJAz

1934,

Be aware that there are two "models" of Assisted Living that are common in the industry.  One is 'medical' and the other is 'hospitality.'  My Father (no dementia) and Step-Mother (dementia) were in both types and the medical model did not work for Dad.  They wanted to control more of his life than he was comfortable with.  A friend told me about the hospitality model and we moved them.  Alternatively, you could stay where you are and hire help for additional help.  Blessings.

harshedbuzz

1934-

This might be a stopgap, but chances are, you will be moving her at some point because of care needs and is AL the right fit for you?

One of the gentlemen in mom's support group lived in an IL apartment in a large CCRC. When the time came that his wife needed more care than he could provide, he hired in additional help for a time before moving her to their SNF (they had no MC onsite) on the same campus. He was still able to bring her to lunch, swimming and activities in their large community until she progressed to a point where she no longer enjoyed it and he started to have his lunch in her unit.

HB