I begin 2022 without my DH

Just Ro

I lost my DH of 54 years today.  The Memory Care Facility called last evening and told me my DH had not been feeling well and that he had fallen.  They told me they called the paramedics to have them assess his condition and to see if he had sustained any injuries.  Although there were no visible injuries, the paramedics determined his condition warranted a trip to the hospital.  Due to a rise in Covid cases, the hospital was triaging patients and administering Covid tests before allowing patients into the hospital.  My daughter and I spotted the triage area in the parking lot and went over to see if he was there. We found him on a gurney and spoke to the paramedics tending to him.  He had tested positive for Covid, after being fully vaccinated, and they were getting ready to admit him.  Due to the Covid diagnosis, I was not able to stay with him.  I said goodbye to my husband, and my daughter said goodbye to her father wearing 3 masks and standing 6 ft away from him in a very cold parking lot. If we had not found the triage area, we would not have been able to spend those last few minutes with him before he was admitted.  He passed away this morning after suffering a heart attack most likely caused by the Covid virus that overwhelmed his weakened body. Which one do I hate more - Covid or Alzheimers?  They both suck! I hope he knew we were there. I’m glad he didn’t suffer any longer. I am grateful to everyone who has ever posted on this site. I learned more than I ever thought I would need to know about dementia and that knowledge helped me more effectively deal with my husband’s condition. Now I must learn to deal with life without him. Peace and love to all of you.

M1

Ro I am so sorry. Peace to you. I'm afraid there's going to be a lot more of this in the next few weeks. Stay safe.

RobertsBrown

Ro, I am sorry for your experience.

Would it surprise you to know that I feel real conflict when I read of the loss of a loved one under these circumstances?  As a caregiver, my focus is on daily, or hourly, care.  It's all about taking care of business, but there is absolutely part of me that just wants to cut to the ending.

It will be my experience too some day, and I hope I face it with dignity and feeling.

I admire the character you demonstrate.  May we all do as well.

Quilting brings calm

Ro, I’m so sorry for your loss.  I’m sorry that Covid has your hospital so overwhelmed…and yet that allowed you to see him since it was outside.  My cousin  died of covid in Feb 2021.  He didn’t have dementia. He spent 3 weeks in the hospital.  His wife didn’t see him after he got out of the car at the ER and she didn’t get to say goodbye that last hour either.  

It’s terrible to lose someone at all, and covid has robbed families of their goodbye.   

Joe C.

Ro, My condolences on the loss of your husband. The visitation restrictions due to covid certainly makes this loss all the more painful. May you find some peace in the days ahead.

Jeff86

Ro — deepest condolences on your husband’s passing.  May you find healing and peace in the difficult weeks and months ahead.

Ed1937

Ro, I'm so sorry. Covid has attacked our family too, but so far no hospitalizations. I hope it's a little comforting knowing that you had the chance to at least say goodbye, even at a distance. He knew you were there.

June45

Oh Ro, what you went through is horrific. Covid has made caregiving so much harder and in your case it made your loss even more painful. But I am so glad that you and your daughter were able to see him again. All of us are quite sincere when we wish you peace of mind in the coming days.

60 falcon

I'm sorry Ro. I hope you and your daughter find some peace.

LadyTexan

Dear Ro.

I am so sorry for your loss and for the obstacles COVID created in your ability to say goodbye. You have been an amazing caregiver on an impossibly difficult journey. You inspire me with your grace.

May the Lord be with you and grant you and your loved ones peace. May He give you strength. May He comfort you.

Please take care of you. 

God bless you dear.

Jo C.

Dearest Ro; there are not words sufficient.   I am so very sorry to hear of the death of your dear husband, and am also sorry for how it happened.

It is a blessing that you and your daughter got to the hospital triage area in time to see your husband and spend a small bit of time with him before he was taken inside and there was no admittance for family members.

During the next difficult days, I so hope you will find solace in knowing how much you meant to your DH and how you were with him through all the difficult caregiving days.  When and if if you feel up to it, let us know how you are; we will be thinking of you and you are still part of this large electronic "family."  

With warm thoughts being sent your way,

J.

loveskitties

Prayers and blessing to you and your family on the loss of your dear loved one.

Lorita

Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss.  Losing your love one is hard in any circumstances but this was doubly hard.  At least you were lucky enough to find where he was and to at least see him for a few minutes before he was taken inside.  I'm sure he knew you were there.  Again, I'm so sorry.

piozam13

Ro,  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I too lost my DH to COVID in Jan 5 last year.  Nothing could numb and ease the pain and emptiness.   Now try to focus your attention to yourself.  I'm here for you.  Hugs.  Evie

EllisA

RO  I am so glad you and your daughter got to see and speak with DH prior to his passing.  based on personal experience, while dealing with a heart attack and a comma, I remember several things that were said to me.  I am betting DH knew full well and was clad to see and hear you.  Yes, both of these nasty diseases  seem to be straight from the "PIT".  I will continue to pray for you and your daughter to have HIS peace.  Thank you for rushing to his side!!

May God Bless and Keep you through these tough times.  EllisA

Marie58

I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you and your daughter were able to see him, even if not in an ideal situation. May God grant you and your family peace, comfort and strength in the days ahead as your grief continues.

jfkoc

Please add my condolences sent to you and your daughter. 

I have no words of comfort to ease what you are going through...it is hard on many levels and in many areas. I found lovely people here to halp me through what seemed to be a sureal event that lasted very long. I hope you may find the same....we are here.

Beachfan

Dear Ro,

I am so sorry to learn of your DH’s passing.  And under such confusing circumstances; you must have been frantic.  Thank God you were able to tell him goodbye; he knew you were there.  I hope you can find some peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.  I will be thinking of you and praying  for you, DH, and your family.  

extex

Please add my condolences to you and your family.  And I certainly agree with you that both Covid and Alz suck, bigly.

Joydean

Ro, I too add my condolences to you and your family. Glad you and your daughter were able to tell your husband goodbye. God be with you and your family. May He give you strength and peace in the coming days and weeks. God bless you and your family.

Last Dance

Dear RO                                                                                                                                           I am so sorry for the lost of your husband. I think that when it comes to the end even in a coma people know that there love ones are around them. I pray that you can find some peace in the fact that you found the hospital triage area, and could be somewhat near him May God grant you his peace in the days a head as you start a new journey in life without him. God's Blessings to you and your daughter. Richard

telinde

Ro, I send my sympathy to you and your daughter.  I am sorry for the circumstances and that you couldn’t be with him.  May you find peace and remember the great memories you have from happier times.  Blessings.  Joan 

Buggsroo

Ro, 

I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. I am glad you and your daughter got to see him one last time. Dementia and Covid suck big time. 

Just Ro

Thank you for your kind words of sympathy and support. In addition to my wonderful family and friends, the courageous members of this virtual community have been my lifeline during this journey.  You are my heroes.

Lills

I am so sorry for your loss.  I, too, think that our LO know we are with them, if not in a physical sense but in some kind of spiritual sense.  Take care and I wish you nothing but sweet memories of your DH.  

David J

Ro- So sorry for your loss. His battle is over and he is at rest. Peace to you and your daughter.

White Crane

Ro, I am so very sorry.  Sending prayers and hugs.

Davegrant

Sorry for your loss. 

Dave

janeymack

Ro - So sorry for your loss, from the beginning with Alzheimer's to the end with Covid. Now is your time. Time to heal and remember the good times. I'm sure he knew you and your daughter were with him in body and spirit and he'll be on the other side waiting to see you again. There are better days ahead.

abc123

Dear Ro, I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. Covid has made everything so much worse in so many ways. I can only imagine what it was like for you and your daughter. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

JoseyWales

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.