Gma; early onset & 2 babies care for HELP!!!!

2.toddlers.1.Grama

Currently I have no job and no income. I take care of all of all driving; managing her money; reminding to eat and take pills and more. All while I take care of my 3 and 4 year old babies. Has anyone who has a family member they live with who is in a later stage of Alzheimer's and takes care of their kids as well, can give me any advice? I'm afraid my children will be second place to my grandma and I don't want to hurt them. Any advice? I apologize for the long message. Thank you

harshedbuzz

Where is her adult child/children?

It is very difficult to parent younger children while caregiving in a dementia situation.

HB

MN Chickadee

Who is the Power of Attorney for grandma? That person needs to arrange some other care for her. It should not be your responsibility. Your kids only have one childhood and one mother, they have to come first. They deserve all of you especially at 3 and 4 years old. Whoever the POA or legally responsible party is may need to apply for medicaid on her behalf for a long term care facility if she doesn't have any assets to pay for it. Or another family member needs to step up and take her in if the family does not want her placed in a facility. My children were very young when it became difficult to have my mother at home, and there was absolutely no way I was going to try to care for both the babies and grandma. It was completely out of the question and I have never regretted it. She gets good care at her memory care facility by professionals and my children have had a normal childhood.

DawnOfANewDay

"You kids only have one childhood and one mother.  They have to come first."

Exactly.  Taking care of someone with dementia is more then a full-time job.  

My mom can not be left alone which means that I have to miss ALL events that she can not sit through or refuses to go to. It takes about an hour to get her dressed to go out on a good day. I can not just leave the house to go for a walk or the park or the grocery store.  Additionally, there are times when my mom stays awake until 3:00 in the morning and I have to stay up with her.  She is at the point that she doesn't always recognize her house as her own and will leave to try and "go home." She is also a fall risk and needs help going to the bathroom.

I can not imagine missing all of your children's school events and not being able to take them out for ice cream or to the park, but this pales in comparison to the emotional toll it will take on you.  

sandwichone123

If you are providing care, you should be paid and should work only shifts. Whatever family member has responsibility is taking advantage of you. You need days off just like anyone else, and your kids need you to have time off from this job.