Not venting but whining

Jeff86

(after Stevie Smith’s ‘Not Waving But Drowning’)

Anyone else notice the negative feedback loop between caregiving and the normal challenges of day to day life?  Caregiving is so demanding that it can make it harder to deal with the ordinary annoyances of life…and the ordinary annoyances of life can make caregiving harder.

On Wednesday afternoon, our furnace gave up the ghost.  And, because of the supply chain issues we’ve all been reading about, our plumbing/heating company has had difficulty sourcing a replacement. 

So, heatless in the Hudson Valley.  DW is cold in the best of conditions.  And these are not the best of conditions.  On Friday, half a foot of snow fell.  This morning, the temperature was 19 degrees.  And we live in a drafty old house on a windswept hill.

DW usually falls asleep promptly when I put her to bed, and sleeps through the night 13-14 hours.  But not last night,  Pretty much hourly starting at 10 pm she woke and got out of bed.  I kept coaxing her back into bed and putting covers back on her, but at 1 am she wasn’t having it. She was afraid—‘of everything’—and, with rare but piercing self awareness, said ‘I don’t know anything any more.  Not a thing.’  And, ‘I don’t know what to do any more.  Tell me what to do.’  And of course the classic, ‘I want to go home.’  It took a looooong time till I could get her to lie down again and, ultimately, back to sleep.  Such times are always difficult to manage but in the wee small hours of the cold morning it’s that much worse.  I managed to hold it together but I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit that my reserves of patience were pretty well depleted.

All back to what passes for normal today.  Whine over, big boy pants back on.

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M1

Jeff, right there with you and I'm so sorry.  Cabin fever big time here, we're snowed in and I'm getting shadowed every step I take.  I managed to get our pickup stuck on the driveway Thursday and just got it out.  At least it warmed up here, we're melting out today but it's gonna pour tomorrow and there's absolutely nothing I can get her interested in, even television.  Bored and lonely.  I know furnaces, generators, and every other kind of appliance is on back order here too.

Whine away if it helps deal with it.  And please stay warm.  This could be dangerous.

Ed1937

Jeff, I'm really sorry. Our dryer gave up the ghost about a year ago, and couldn't get one to work for us because it is a stackable. After replacing the wrong part, I had to drive about an hour and a half to a place that had what I needed. Actually my grandson picked it up for me. Good kid.

Is it possible for you to pick up a heater at a rentals place, or buy one? That's way too cold to do without something. I hope you find a solution.

abc123

I also live in a drafty old house. My solution was a twin sized electric blanket. Reasonably priced at Walmart. I bring it back and forth from the bedroom to the den. 

I’m currently in north Texas, at my parents house. We had a frozen/busted water pipe. Waiting on the plumber, day three! Whine away! We understand. 

abc123

M1, I’m sorry about the “Cabin Fever”!

Joydean

Jeff, I’m so sorry! The words your wife said are truly heart breaking. Stay warm the best you can and God be with you and your wife!

sandwichone123

We have a heating pad you can heat in the microwave (filled with beans or something) and perhaps you could put it under the covers with dw. I sometimes do that with dh. Not right on him, but under the covers. Also a sleeping bag, unzipped, can be a useful addition to the bed.

Stuck in the middle

Jeff, you write very well, and "Heatless in the Hudson Valley" is a great title.  Too bad you don't have time to write more than a grocery list!

Hang in there, buddy

Jeff86

Thanks for your responses.  

@Victoria—love those contests for best and worst opening lines of a novel, that spring from the classic dark and stormy night! @Stuck—thanks, DW and I actually met in a writing workshop.  Once an English major….always….

3 1/2 days into this, we are staying as warm as possible with the help of a small army of space heaters—works pretty well in rooms we can close off with doors.  And I have an ample supply of firewood.

Still, this is getting old.  Forecast today is for freezing rain and sleet, temps in the low 30’s.  Fingers crossed that tomorrow brings us a new furnace.

Beachfan

Jeff,

I am hunkered down on the sofa, surrounded by a stack of library books, watching the freezing rain in NEPA wreak havoc outside.  I don’t even intend to comb my hair today.  I I can’t imagine having no heat; that’s right up there with no electricity in my book.  I hope tomorrow brings some relief and a new furnace.  Hang in there. 

Joe C.

Jeff, I fortunate that we never lost heat for very long will DW was home, I can only imagine the much more challenging would be under those conditions. Hang in there my friend.