Memories with no one to share them with

Gig Harbor

I was feeling sorry for myself because I was thinking of everything we had done in our life and my husband remembers none of it. I can tell others about my memories but there is no one to share them with. Then I realized that every divorced person goes thru this and I never thought of it before.

jordansfca

Perhaps you can start a journal to record your memories.  That way you will have them to look back on.

Mint

Understand.

Lost a BIL through divorce that I very much considered part of my family.  I felt so bad for him.  Told a coworker I feel like someone died, but he didn’t and nothing I could do.

M1

Being divorced, I can say that that's an accurate and striking analogy Gig.  I hadn't thought about it that way before, but you're exactly right.  This is the second spouse I've lost.  Both are very, very difficult experiences.  In our case, the divorce was not amicable, and I had to go to court three times over child support.  So there was no taking joint pride in our two wonderful kids, which is very, very sad.

Jo C.

I am sorry for your heartbreak and understand.  There is a deeply felt loneliness even with our LO next to us.  That is a good point that you made; I had never thought of that before.

 . . . what I finally came to realize, was that I was blessed with the memories; some people have not had the parts of life that we shared, and I am deeply thankful for the memories of the shared special things and times. There is some sadness, but all in all, I am able to feel gratefulness for a life that had such beautful and memorable times and would give so much to be able to revisit those times once again.  Oh; to have a time machine . . . .

J.

jfkoc

Interesting analogy...

Stuck in the middle

I have always enjoyed telling stories and have regaled DW and others with them for years.  Now, I can tell her stories about things that happened to us.  Some of them are true

Joydean

Memories are still your memories. If you have children you can share some of those with them. Others you hold very close to your heart, like a deck of cards, pulling them out one by one and enjoying. They will give your heart a little peace, reminding you life was not always being caregiver. Even with divorce, may have ended badly, but it didn’t start out that way. I say that because my first marriage ended terribly but it didn’t start that way.

LizG55

Gig Harbor wrote:

I was feeling sorry for myself because I was thinking of everything we had done in our life and my husband remembers none of it. I can tell others about my memories but there is no one to share them with. Then I realized that every divorced person goes thru this and I never thought of it before.

I don't really see it like divorce. I have no children or extended family anymore.  I have no one to "experience" the memories with.  He doesn't remember and my family has passed so there is no one but me.  Sometimes it upsets me but then I realize I hold the memories and that will just have to be enough,,, though, it is a lonely place to be. no friend can fill that  gap I already went through this when my father died too.  Sorry for the pain you're feeling. I get it.