Hershey highway

Buggsroo

My husband has been having accidents, two or three a day. There are so many euphemisms for fecal problems, but I believe it is because he eats all day, yoghurt, ice cream, rice pudding etc. 

He had radiation for prostate cancer when he was 60, so has some damage to his colon. 

After doing two to three loads of laundry, cleaning up poo spills in both his bedroom and bathroom, I confess I almost cried. He keeps saying he is sorry, but then laughs at me when I clean. I said I hated my life, I deserved better. I have lost it a few times with him, I know his brain is broken, but I can’t can’t get the smell out of my nose.

I have him wearing his underwear to bed just to try and apply a barrier. He won’t wear Depends, he just gets mad at me. 

I have this awful feeling that Karma will get me because I am not understanding enough. For me, this is a deal breaker. 

ButterflyWings

(((Buggsroo))). I don't even know what to say -- other than that I've heard this is a dealbreaker for many caregivers, and that is totally understandable. Not only is it gross (though not his fault), but the bacteria is so unhealthy...easy for you to possibly get an infection of some kind just from contacting the germs while cleaning up. Not always time to grab gloves, tissue, sanitizer, etc. (which I have to hide from DH who rummages, flushes just about anything, and stashes things so I have to hide and lock them up. Not conducive to easy access for clean-ups on a moment's notice).

We only had one episode of what you are dealing with so far, but it was a doo-doo doozy. So I can totally commiserate with you. I was incredulous at the amount of "stuff" that came out of my poor DH. He had an upset stomach -- still not sure if it was a gastro infection or maybe it was just the pain meds and/or antibiotics he was on at the time for a UTI. Anyway, even though he was wearing incontinence briefs we went through multiples changes of those in just a few hours time, plus the extra mess on his legs and the floor, toilet, etc...since he couldn't cooperate with me while I was cleaning and changing him. And at one point, couldn't hold it while I was not yet ready for the next emission...it was awful and then he was embarrassed I think, snapping at me "look what you made me do!". Yes, Hershey highway indeed.

Trying to handle the cleaning up and changing of a moving target was not easy. Then, there was still the mopping and laundry... and re-sanitizing everything afterward. Yes, the lingering smell. And that was just our one experience a few weeks ago. I can imagine you are really overwhelmed with this ongoing task. I'm SO sorry for how you are feeling right now. Surely there will not be a Karma backlash for anyone throwing in the towel when faced with bowel incontinence. I hope you get a break. Can you switch to non-dairy options for him?

shardy

That would be a deal breaker for me also. 

So far Jim has been able to clean himself up from mishaps.. I know the time will come when he makes a bigger mess than he cleans up and sadly that will be the deal breaker.....

It's depends or else. I know that sounds harsh but even though I know it's the illness, having someone mouthing off and laughing while you have to clean up their mess is just wrong. It leaves me feeling demeaned and belittled as though I'm worthless. 

Yes, we all deserve better.

Pat6177

(((Buggsroo))) what a nightmare. If you have Vicks Vapor Rub, that might help with the smell while you’re cleaning up. Put a dab under your nose. And/or wear a mask. And breathe thru your mouth.

Gig Harbor

That is horrible to have to deal with daily. Here are a couple of suggestions. Does he eat diabetic type foods? They are sweetened with sorbitol and that can cause diarrhea and loose stools. Imodium is given for diarrhea and it is OTC. You might try giving him one a day to see if he can have firmer stools and so might make it to the bathroom. Keep a mask handy and put drops of peppermint or clove oil on it so you block out the poop smell. Squirt shaving cream on the residual poop on the floor or toilet and then wipe it up. Shaving cream helps block the smell. Hope this helps. Code browns are the worst.

Comrade

OY!

My wife had the same issue for a couple of days. Finally cleaned, but the smell and stains lingered.

Because I couldn't "allow her" to sleep on a stained bed, I bought a new mattress and an extra thick mattress barrier.

Still not enough, I also used our dog's stain and odor remover. The smells from the pet products were not much better, but finally and after 3 days, dissipated.

I can only imagine what people feel and do on a daily basis in a hospital setting. Their strengths and my weakness.

Finally, I found an "extra strong Fabreze" spray and the smells finally returned to normal.

harshedbuzz

Buggsroo-

This is a deal breaker for many. It was a big part of why I pushed mom to place dad. Dad also had radiation for prostate cancer and a lot of scar tissue- they seemed to have "missed" the tumors as it came back with a vengeance. Mom is immunocompromised, so handling feces on the regular was risky as well as unpleasant. 

For clean up, cheap foam shaving cream- the dollar store brand is fine- can help mask the odor as you clean. 

I never believed dad would go for Depends. He had a history of carrying on about incontinence supplies- he had a friend who became incontinent after prostate surgery and dad said he'd rather die than wear a diaper and he threatened to sue the SNF which put his mom in Depends. But when we disappeared the regular briefs, he accepted them with nary a whimper.

Wishing you better days.

Mint

Was going to mention shaving cream.  In the past have seen many mention how much that helped them.

arizonadianne

I’m so sorry this is what’s troubling you. So, so much loss and change. 

Retired RN here. In hospice many years ago we used most of the things mentioned already and also placed small (or large!) pans of cat litter or charcoal briquettes around to absorb odors. 

However, what does one do with shaving cream? That one’s a new idea to me. Maybe I missed reading the details; that happens sometimes. My imagination is running away with me about how one uses shaving cream to reduce or eliminate odors. I’m here to learn.

Ed1937

Buggsroo, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. What you describe is horrific. I have dealt with several episodes, but nothing like you describe. I wish you better days coming.

Michelle, I'm not sure what it does for the odor. but shaving cream is good for feces that have dried or have become hard (sticky) to clean up. Shaving cream softens it, making cleanup much easier.

harshedbuzz

Buggsroo-

A number of people have posted in the past that digesting dairy-specifically lactose- becomes an issue with the progression of the disease. It's a pretty easy swap to replace these items with lactose-free. Both Lactaid and Breyer's make lactose-free ice cream. Puddings can be made with Lactaid milk. There are lactose-free yogurts cow's milk yogurts as well as yogurts made from soy and oat milk. It is certainly worth a try.

There are Lactaid pills, but according to my DH who is lactose intolerant (and a retired chemist with a background in Big Pharma) they're not reliable for him at the doses suggested.

The other piece is that sometimes natural sugar and non-caloric sweeteners can trigger diarrhea as well. 

HB

Battlebuddy

   I just took a trip on the Hershey Highway this morning. It was bad enough that I told myself that I get to treat myself to lunch ( takeout). 

   I think it will probably happen again. Maybe not a gallon bucket full but cleaning up poop is part of the Alzheimer’s journey. I wish it wasn’t but there it is. My husband was a captive audience because he is bed bound. I don’t know how I survived chasing him around the house trying to wipe his butt but I did. For me that stage did not last too long. If the opposite happens be prepared to insert suppository . The first time I did that I thought this is a new low to my life. But now I wouldn’t think twice about doing it. 

   I’m trying to be reassuring to the people out there who will read this and can’t afford placement . You can handle poop! It won’t kill you and you will do whatever you have to in the moment to give good care. 

  On a practical note it helps to anticipate / prepare for it- multiple layers of chucks on the bed, plastic sheets etc. LOTS of Baby wipes / paper towels / plastic gloves at the ready. I put a shelf in the bathroom over the door with all kids of stuff. They say Alz patients don’t look up , so I stored all kinds of cleaning supplies up there. And shaving cream does help. My son bought me a little air freshener that mists out drops of essential oils.    I put it on after a trip on the highway. 

  Hope something here helps. As you drive down the highway you will see many of us on the road with you. Stay strong. “ It’s only poop!” 

Beachfan

Buggsroo,

So sorry, no brilliant suggestions here, just heartfelt empathy and maybe a little mood brightener.  I travel the real  Hershey highway (PA route 81 S) often; it’s one way to get to DH’s MCF.  Hersheypark season tickets are an annual Christmas gift for the PA grands.  I will never travel the asphalt “Hershey highway” again without thinking of this double entendre.  

Re: the cheap shaving cream. My DH, 9 weeks in MC, wears Depends, but is still somewhat continent.  I keep can of Barbasol in his bathroom cabinet for cleanup assistance after a BM when I visit.  I have introduced his caregivers to the spork, plate guard, Treo razors and recently, Barbasol.  They think I’m so clever; it’s a hoot.  

LadyTexan

Cyber hugs from me to you Buggsroo. You are doing an incredible job and taking on an incredibly unpleasant and messy task.

One small suggestion that helped us transition to TENA disposable briefs, is to avoid terms like "Depends" or "diapers". At first DH didn't notice I had transitioned him into disposable briefs. A week or so later, when he was aware of the change from his regular underpants, I explained that I found disposable briefs that would cut down on the amount of laundry I had to do. So far, so good.

We have 2 toilets in our home. I keep the clean up products and necessities like shaving cream, handy near both toilets. I usually don't where gloves for the clean-up, unless it is excessive.

At the recommendation of the gastroenterologist, I give DH a 250 mg magnesium supplement daily to keep DH regular and the stool somewhat firm (instead of loose or mud-like).

It is an unpleasant task that many of us will face. Another thing that helps me endure this is to remind myself of what BattleBuddy said: it is just poop. When DH gets embarrassed, I tell DH, its no big deal, it is just poop. But I am fortunate, that DH has accepted the disposable briefs. Your situation sounds so exhausting. I am not strong enough for that. 

You are amazing.

Stuck in the middle

Eggs are your friend when you try to minimize poop.  NASA did studies to determine what foods yielded the least amount of poop and found that eggs digest almost completely.  DW eats three eggs in place of two eggs and a sausage patty for breakfast, with toast and fruit, and does well.  Eggs are a relatively inexpensive protein source too,

Buggsroo

Thank you, thank you all so much. You are wonderful. I believe he may be somewhat lactose intolerant which is causing this. It is true it is just sh-- but I am starting to accept my lot. I may get him some magnesium tablets and he does drink a lot of diet ginger ale. I honestly can’t eat anything that has artificial sweetener in it, or I can’t leave the bathroom for days. 

Your suggestions are fantastic, I have put loads of sheets on his bed so if he does have an accident, I can just wash the top layer. I also have him wearing his underwear to bed. I can’t tell you how much appreciate you all in the forum. I feel like I have a group of friends to whom I can bitch to and you all get it.