Selecting assisted living and geriatric care manager in MD

ginahmk

Hi folks!  I am so glad that I have found this great resource.  I am a remote caregiver for my significant other, age 68yo, who is living in Maryland, while I was working and living in PA.  He has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in Dec 2021.  Because of our living situation, I am looking for geriatric care manager and assisted living in MD in the DC area.  Any suggestions, tips, recommendations would be most welcome.

loveskitties

I don't know about specifics in Maryland, but will share general information I have found in my search in Virginia.

Many of the communities require you to start out in "independent living" and age into assisted living and memory care.  Some of these require a significant buy-in for the initial apartment and will do all they can to keep you in it so they can retain this money.  Read the language carefully regarding how, if you get the buy in money back if they move out...regardless of reason...one I reviewed gave no time commitment on return of funds.

Many have limitations on level of assistance required.  They will want doctor's assessment and then some will also do their own.

Some have "max assistance" and then will want you to move LO elsewhere.

If you opt to go with "web based" help search such as Home for Mom, expect to be inundated with emails, phone calls and mail from any and all within your geographic preference regardless of their abilities to meet your specific needs.

It is a significant challenge unless you have someone who can give you recommendations based on their experience.

Best of luck with your search.

jfkoc

I think crushed is in this area or

maybe one of these is not too far;

https://www.thehearthstoneinstitute.org/centers-excellence-map/

or one of them  might make a referal

Ed1937

Gina, I don't have any input on that, but just wanted to say "welcome to the forum". If you stay active here, you will get a lot of help from people who have "been there, done that". People here are very supportive, and we all need that. I wish you luck.

Pat6177

Wow, what a challenge to do this remotely for your SO. On a slightly different topic, does your SO have legal documents in place (will, trust, powers of attorney)?  If not, this is important for a variety or reasons. Find an elder law attorney to help with it. Powers of attorney, both financial and medical, even more important if you aren’t married. 

Keep reading this forum for a wealth of info, caring and understanding. 

ginahmk

Sorry I am a bit late in the reply, but I was traveling and stuck in bad weather.  This is good information.  Yes, your experience with A Place for Mom matches with mine.  Will start looking next month and glad you have alerted me to read the fine print.

ginahmk

Thanks.  Always glad to get a tip!

ginahmk

Dear Ed,

Thanks very much for the welcome.  Yes, this looks like it will be good resource.  Nothing beats experience.

Best,

Gina

ginahmk

Hi Pat,

Thanks for pointing this out.  Yes, we spent time this fall putting all the legal paperwork in place. It was not a quick process, took us about 2 months to finally get everything finalized and glad that my SO was competent to participate.  Time is not on our side with something like this.

Best,

Gina

mrahope

I am sorry to be so ignorant, but what exactly does a care manager do?  I have heard folks speak of these individuals, but are they for helping to select memory care places, for managing at home, or for finding other assistance?  Why/when should I consider hiring one?

Pat6177

 mrahope wrote:

I am sorry to be so ignorant, but what exactly does a care manager do?  I have heard folks speak of these individuals, but are they for helping to select memory care places, for managing at home, or for finding other assistance?  Why/when should I consider hiring one?

Hi mrahope, many people don’t consider a care manager because of the expense. But my DH and I have no children and our medical POA is in MA while we are in AZ. We needed someone here in town that is familiar with the area services to help us out. They will do whatever you want them to do. You can make them your medical POA or financial POA. Or not. You can list them as your Emergency Contact and they will then report to your medical POA. They will help you find placement for your LO. One of my worries is what will happen to my DH if something happens to me. If I am in a car accident or fall and break a hip, I want to have someone to call that will go to see DH, determine what amt of care he needs and put that care in place. Right away. Also, need to have someone taking care of pets since they get meds and DH can no longer do that. If I die suddenly, then the care manager will either set up 24/7/365 care at home and monitor that or will place him. Our medical POA will decide which way to go but the care manager will find the place. 

You can also have the Care Manager company pay the bills. The care manager company we went with also has a Property Management group that will do the care and maintenance of your home. This would be useful if I died and my DH stayed at the house with 24/7 care.

The initial intake fee is reasonable. Every year, you update the information you have on file with them. There’s no charge for that. But once you start using their services, you pay by the hour. 

I like the fact that if I die first and my DH is placed, the Care Manager will go to visit him monthly (or at a different interval that the medical POA may set) and report back to our medical POA. That’s cheaper than a plane ticket for the medical POA. 

 The companies I looked at all belonged to Aging Life Care Association www.aginglifecare.org

One of the companies well known in our town is Care Coordinators Inc. Check out their website at www.carecoordinatorsinc.com to get an idea of their services. This is not the company that I ended up going with. Sorry to have gotten so long winded.

mrahope

Thanks so much for the information, Gina.  It is good to know that services like this exist and I can imagine it must give you some peace of mind knowing that someone will "be there" when you can't.  

I don't think we are at that stage because my adult daughter still lives with us and our son and his wife are at least in the same state.  Still, there may come a time when we cannot perform all the duties you listed.  

I have learned so much from you and others here.  My admiration for your initiative in setting all this up is boundless.  It took us several months to get all the POAs, etc. in place, too.

ginahmk

Thanks this was very helpful info!