Update to guardianship etc.

Mikela

We had the emergency court hearing.  All came to an agreement about LO's will, irrevocable trust, and medical care which was read into the court record.  Our CELA attorney created the documents as agreed and is now trying to get them signed.  The ad litem assigned by the court was "fired" by my Dad who doesn't remember the agreement now.  Stepmother is backtracking too.  It has gotten worse.  My dad with dementia and paranoid stepmother are now harassing a rich long-time family friend and client of my Dad for money.   Stepmother is texting and calling every few hours. When my Dad retired, the family friend/client would occasionally send him $15,000 every 6 months because my Dad had helped him start his business and was instrumental in his business success.    Dad helped negotiate a contract to sell one of his companies and it was sold for millions.  Stepmother is claiming to the family friend that she is about to lose the house to a property tax lien.  Not true, as I got the check issued for the property taxes last year myself so the house isn't going anywhere and the new year's taxes aren't due for several months.  Upon finding out about this, we are realizing that all the sporadic $15,000 checks made out to Dad from the former client and friend never made it into Dad's bank account as they were intended to help him for retirement.  The more I find out, the more legal lines were crossed.  We now have Stepmother and possibly her 39 year-old daughter dead to rights for email hacking/tampering, bank fraud and possible identity theft.  The attorney and ad litem are supposed to try again this week to get things signed as agreed.  My little brother is chomping at the bit to put in a report with the state bar and with the FBI.  Did I mention Stepmother's attorney on record was a shyster?   He ignored medical proof of Dad's condition and then deeded Dad's house to stepmother alone when there was a pending court case on the issue and his assets/welfare.  The home lost the homestead exemption and the lower tax status on Dad's house because of his age.  He also tried to submit the hacked email records supplied by stepmother to the court as proof.  Us kids, had kept a record and emailed each other about Dad's unusual behavior.  I'm truly at a loss right now.  I didn't think it could get more convoluted.  The trust will put us kids out of the loop entirely which is just fine with me.  We just need signatures and I don't want to got to court again.  Does it get better?  

Mikela

dayn2nite2

Your situation is not going to get better.

I still don’t understand why you are trying to come to an “agreement” - that is impossible due to your father’s cognitive status and the predator stepmother.

I would walk away from this and let them drown.  They will fight you every step and you should actually be seeking sole guardianship of your father and moving him out of there.

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Love&Light

Mikela, can you get sole guardianship? Given this woman is a grifter and you can likely prove financial malfeasance, you may have a good chance of getting it.

To be honest with you, no it doesn't get better. I'm 1.5 years into co-guardianship with my father's wife. She married him while he was incompetent and kept it secret from the family in order to gain access to his assets. Once we realized what was going on (after ETG was established), 1/2 of his bank account funds were gone. These people are vile, pathetic leeches and their primary motivation is money. Sadly you will have to consider this in every decision point you make with them. It is very VERY hard when you are co-guardians with them.

Do your best to document everything, you may need it. The fact that the daughter is involved is unfortunate but predictable. These types run in packs. It is also grounds for revocation of guardianship if the daughter attempts to step into guardian duties. Again, documentation is key here.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Money brings out the worst in some people. My sibs and I had no idea that this was in the realm of possibility for our family and literally were in shocked disbelief for the first 6 months. 

Remember that your Dad made these decisions (or not) and all you can do is your best but ultimately there is only so much you can do it fix the broken parts in his life. Please take care of you and the beautiful people in your life that support you. That is what is most important.