A huge win!

abc123

Some of you may remember my story. My parents live 9 hours away and I go back and forth a lot. Mom is in hospice and has caregivers from Home Instead. She has Alzheimer’s and is now stage 7. My two siblings live closer to me. We consider my town as home. I was with my parents for two weeks and have been home for 5 days now. Three days ago I was talking with dad on the phone. I don’t know what came over me but all of a sudden I was very calm and said to dad, this is enough. It’s time for you and mom to come home. I want y’all to come home. He said okay! I’ve contacted hospice on their end and Home Instead. I’ve lined up a hospice here in my town and sitters. I’ve gotten a quote from an ambulance company to transport my mom the 9 hours to my house. I will ride in the ambulance with her. I have removed all furniture and cleaned from top to bottom her room here! Hospice will come in and set up Mom’s new room. I have to clean out the closets and dressers in the other guest room for dad. All I have to do is set the date for the transfer by ambulance. Im thinking Monday, Tuesday at the latest. 

I’ll arrange for help selling the house and furniture in Texas. There are at least 4 collections of art that will need to be sold. Once all of that is accomplished, dad can leisurely shop for a new house and furniture here in our hometown. My dad is so relieved because I am handling all of this for them. He is like a new man and I’ll have mom here at home. What a blessing. 

I continue to lift you all up in prayers daily. You are all always in my heart. I am thankful for each and every person here. We are a family. 

Quilting brings calm

Definitely a win.

Mint

I’m happy for you.

M1

That is indeed a huge development abc! So glad you persisted and your dad is so fortunate to have your help-sounds like maybe accomplishing it on his own was too overwhelming. You've got a busy weekend ahead of you! Keep us posted-

harshedbuzz

I am so glad you persisted.

This will be easier in some respects, but it'll make it harder for you to carve out bits of time for yourself and family.

We did a massive purge in the process of selling both of my parents' homes- I even sold one "turn-key". In retrospect I feel like there are things that got jettisoned that mom regrets now. I wish I'd gotten a PODS to move some of the stuff into storage so my mom would have them in Stage 8. PODS and a storage unit could spare you some regret.

HB

Tfreedz

Great news! What a relief for you and your siblings to have them close to you again. Sounds like initially it will be a lot of work but in the end it will be worth it. Your Dad must feel such comfort to know he has your help. You are doing an awesome job!

BKay

Thank you for sharing this great development. You have your dad's trust, and it's clear that you've earned it. This is what real love looks like. Making hard choices, taking on the responsibilities and doing it with warmth and kindness. What a relief for everyone involved. Sending you wishes for a smooth transition, or at least grace for the bumps!

Beachfan

You are SUPERWOMAN!  Simply amazing!  I am exhausted and suffering nervous palpitations just reading your post and absorbing your plans.  I pray that all goes well with the relocation and once the dust settles, that you will take one day for yourself and just CHILL.  Best wishes.

mrl

I'm so happy for you-God Bless, Prayers coming your way.

Michele 

Emily 123

Wow!  That’s great.  Will be thinking of you and hoping that it continues to go smoothly

abc123

Hi Everyone!

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement! I’m at Lowes waiting in line, so I wanted to check in. We are looking at transporting Mom on Monday or Tuesday. I’m waiting to hear back from the company. Hospice will set up moms room Monday morning and then I’ll head to Texas. I’m excited to have her coming home but I’m scared to death. And a little sad too.  I waited too long. 

Stuck in the middle

abc123 wrote:

 And a little sad too.  I waited too long. 

It wasn't you who waited, IIRC.  Congratulations on your win!

Quilting brings calm

It wasn’t you who waited.  You’ve been trying to convince your dad for a long time.  He refused to believe how bad it could get until it was too late.  In some ways this will be harder on you, but in other ways a lot easier.  And you can get your dad settled before his own situation gets worse. 

As for the house. Take your time.   No hurry.  Start by determining what you want to keep, and what is total junk and needs  disposed  of.  Later talk to an auctioneer about the rest.   Some will take it all back to the auction house. Some will want to hold the auction on site. 

When we did that emergency move of my parents, they were in a rental.  So we were in a hurry.  We hired movers to pack up and put everything that we couldn’t carry into two pods and store it for 30 days.  To be delivered from Alabama to Illinois   We worked for a few  days getting sorted out what we were taking with us, what we were throwing or giving away.  Slowed down by the constant need to supervise my parents, doctor visits, home health care visits,  and the exhaustion from little or no sleep.  The movers packed everything else up in 4 hours.

toolbeltexpert

Abc123 I haven't been here long but you are amazing. I'll pray for your journey.

GothicGremlin

That's great, abc! 

And you know what? You didn't wait too long. You got buy-in from your dad, and that's huge.

ButterflyWings

Congrats abc123!

Not doing the 9 hour drive and 24/7 worrying from a distance is definitely a huge win! I know how it feels to kick myself for not doing something or other sooner, but like everybody said, that wasn’t completely up to you. Some things happen when it is time. Good for you for sensing the moment and getting dad on board! Must have felt like the stars aligned, after all the things you have been through on this rollercoaster. 

Sounds like you are more than halfway there already with all that you’ve done to prep her room, coordinate with hospice and identify transport options. The rest will fall into place. Almost home!

abc123

Sunday 1/23/2022 Update

I'm having problems with transport for momma. Already dealing with another company. Due to covid, they can't spare drivers for a 9 hour run. I will know tomorrow if the 2nd company can commit to moving her Wed or Thurs. 

Thank you for the support!!! The only reason I can do this is because you all have shared your journeys. 

Constant phone calls from dad is slowing me down and causing me stress. He is stressed too.

mommyandme (m&m)

Thank you for your updates!

Moving our LOs long distance is very difficult and you have taken the bull by the horns.  There will be some bucks for sure, like the recent transport development, but what a huge step you and yours have taken, making this solid decision.  Congratulations on that alone.

You’re such a loving and compassionate daughter.  Your parents must be so thankful even when they can’t show it.  

Quilting brings calm

abc123- what’s the latest on transport for your mom?

abc123

Transport is booked and confirmed!!! Using a company called Ride N Safe. I fly to Texas tomorrow afternoon. Transport will be at the house at 9 am Thursday. As of today we have changed up her diet in hopes of avoided several bowel movements during the 9 hour trip. She will also be given a mild anti anxiety med one hour before we load her up. 

I have her room completely set up at my house. Hospital bed, rolling meal tray, oxygen, etc. Bed is made up. Dads room is complete also. I tossed out two big closets full of stuff to make room for them. Will meet with realtor on Wednesday. I have hospice and sitters set up on my end. Sitters are $9 per hour cheaper on my end. The 9 hour transport will cost $5300. I have accomplished many things with the help of two dear friends! I am richly blessed and grateful! 

As always, you are all in my heart and my prayers.

SusanB-dil

just. WOW!!  and I totally agree with GothicG 100% !

Yes, I'm sure dad is also stressed, and as I've mentioned before - all of this move will be over soon enough and hopefully everyone will get settled in quickly.  No more 9-hour trips also a win!  Sounds like you have this very well thought-out.  You got this, abc123!!

David J

I am very impressed, abc123! To do all that in such a short time frame? Wow!  Your parents are extremely lucky to have you.

abc123

Thank you all for the support and words of encouragement!