Lost my mother 12 years ago to Dementia

Leah_JN

I have spent my hours on this message board.  My last stop was this thread was after my mother passed away.  It was very had to come here and talk about what had happened.  

Now, at 65, I'm back on this board because I fear that I may inherit her gene for Dementia.  Now, that she's gone, I live alone and have no relatives.  I have minimal contact with my neighbors and am not good about attending church.  I don't believe my mother had Alzheimer's, but perhaps Vascular Dementia.  Either way, I'm scared.  I have so much work do to clean out my house because I have hoarded clothes over the years.  I feel like I have to get the house cleaned out so I can die.  It's really sad.

I'm really interested in the children of those who have been taken by Dementia and what is their outlook and prospects for the future considering they may inherit Dementia.

Leah

TessC

I'm glad you are back here-looking for support. I think it is only natural that those of us who have lost our parent or a sibling due to Alz or any of the other causes of dementia, would be worry about us getting it too. We know how terrible it is to live with dementia and if we are alone, that doubles, triples the fear and worry. Sadly most of us rarely find out why our loved one got dementia.  And there is likely no way we can tell if we will get it ourselves. We can only live the best life we can and do the things that help to combat mental and brain matter decline.

 Those things might be to cultivate a stronger church life and church family in your case. And a uncluttered house is always good for mental health and for safety reasons as well. Eating the proper diet helps, too. Not drinking alcohol,  moderate exercise, losing weight, doing hobbies, making friends-all are the "best practices" that the Alz Association touts. These things can help reduce the chances of getting dementia.

I worry about getting dementia, too. I took care of my mother though all the stages of her decline.  I know all about the loss, the indignities, the pain and sadness of dementia. But I do my best to take care of myself and enjoy myself and leave the future in God's hands. Worry and fear is bad for our health, so I try not to indulge in them. Be proactive, not reactive and see where that leads you.

I wish the best for you. Search for the good in people and in yourself and your situation and you may find you have no time to worry about dementia because you'll be living your life in the moment. Take good care!

Iris L.

Leah, I remember you.  I'm still here.  I live alone, my two closest friends abandoned me when I began to complain of memory loss.  My church leaders forgot about me also.  So I decided I would take care of myself and not involve anyone else.  Of course, it's been hard.  You say you hoard clothes; my home is full of everything!  Yes, all this stuff has to go, even if it's nice.  I also live with my four senior cats.  I have no one else to care for them.  I feel anxious every time I leave my home.  If you come back to your thread, know that I am with you in spirit!

Iris

RyanBerger

Stress has to be dealt with. It is necessary to understand why emotions are out of control and to accept the reason for the stress reaction. I recommend analyzing your feelings and thoughts, confessing your desires, and regaining lost feelings to do this. It is quite difficult to do this on your own. Although many people are even helped by regular sports or a walk with their pet. You can learn more about this here https://fherehab.com/depression/treatment With chronic stress, professional help is needed. Often only psychologists can help you with your problems. You don't have to be afraid of doctors.

Martin Robbins

This explains the hereditary aspect very well: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/risk-factors-and-prevention/is-dementia-hereditary

I hope it gives you some comfort, Leah.