My father thinks I’m his GF

Hjc101

Help I am so frustrated! My dad has dementia and lives with me. His wife left him months ago as she doesn’t want to care for him.  He now thinks I am his wife/gf. He pats me on the butt and tries to touch me inappropriately and speaks to me inappropriately. He also gets verbally abusive, if I leave the house or speak on the phone- I am cheating on him. This is exhausting!

Tfreedz

So sorry you are dealing with this! 

My grandfather was like that after he progressed, he was vulgar in a way he never was before, it was awkward and embarrassing. I made sure I kept physical distance between us and always addressed him as grandfather even exaggerating the title to make sure he knew our relation. If this didn’t work I ignored the behavior/comments by talking to him about nature which was something he really enjoyed. I only dealt with it when visiting him for a short period of time. Hopefully someone else will have advice for living with a LO with this behavior.

Love&Light

Hi HJC. Ugh, yes it's completely cringe worthy. When this happens, I insert 'Dad' into every sentence to remind him of who he's interacting with.

Please be careful. For some this can progress to the point where they become sexually aggressive and this can be dangerous for you on a number of levels. For our family, we could not manage it on our own and are so grateful for the MC staff that knows how to re-direct this type of behavior as well as medication options.

WV

I'm so sorry. I was traumatized when this happened to me and haven't fully recovered. This forum was a huge help and an AZ counselor also provided much needed support. Some posters suggested pointing out that I was married, which actually helped a bit, since reminding him that I was his daughter didn't so much good--at that point he really didn't know who I was. But although my dad wasn't aggressive, his behavior made me realize that I was no longer capable of caring for him by myself, and accelerated our decision to move him to memory care.