No food or water for 5 days, on hospice, what can I expect next?

LongBee2021

My grandpa is on hospice since 1/19. He became bedridden on 1/14. He hasn't eaten or drink any more than a tablespoon of soup and water a day since 1/20. It's also touch and go with getting his medication down since 1/20 as well. The nurse is coming today. And I am in close contact with hospice about his progress. He's got all the drugs, etc. to keep him as comfortable as possible. 

I know he is actively dying. 

I am just wondering, from those who have gone through this, what can I expect next? Can you share a bit about what happened with your LO when this happened to you? Learning what other families have gone through during this time has really helped me prepare for the inevitable, but also it has helped me know what to ask and when to ask it to the doctors/hospice. 

Thank you.

King Boo

Hi LongBee,

This final stretch is very emotional, but seeing your grandfather out of this life can also be part of the healing when he is gone.

The hospice nurse should be able to tell you about what to expect - it helps a lot to know and understand what may happen, so you do not become frightened.

Some will pass quietly, but generally, they become less rousable over time, progressing to what appears to be sleeping around the clock.  When this happens, hospice can give you a general idea of how much time is left.  They are usually pretty accurate.

Active dying is the final countdown.  When this happens, there is a significant change in breathing pattern.  It can become deeper, noisier, more labored.   There is no distress for our loved ones.  It's the pattern that happens a things begin to slowly turn themselves off.

The brainstem regulates breating and it is this that is kicking in.   It is called Cheyenne Stokes breathing (I think), or stridor.   Breathing will eventually slow, with longer pauses in between (perhaps).  Some can go directly to breathing cessation.

Things can be noisy due to secretions in the throat.  Hospice has medication that can clear this up although it does not hurt the dying person.

There is a section in Hard Choices for Loving People by Hank Dunn that addresses the lack of food and drink.  This distresses the living greatly, but as he says, there is no more natural way than for a body that doesn't need it anymore to stop.  It helped me as I accompanied my dying loved on through.

Get your sleep, be sure to eat, and speak with the hospice nurse.

mommyandme (m&m)

I’m sorry you and yours are here.  

I imagine that his daily med regimen prior to this stage of his life should be discontinued.  No need to stress on that.  

He likely can still hear you and his LOs so maybe play the music he enjoys and gently talk to him.  He may just be quietly working on things about his life…as long as he’s peaceful, they aren’t stressful things.  

In my experience, being with someone as they leave this earth is a privilege.  The hospice nurse etc. can help you understand what’s going on and prepare.  

I hope you can feel a sense of peace. 

live in daughter

Hi- as my Mom got to the end she lapsed into a sleeping state. She was unable to take fluids, solids, or medications. We put a diaper on her but since she was not taking fluids urination was minimal.

We would turn her to ease her breathing status- sometimes her breathing would become somewhat labored and a change in position helped to ease her breathing. We also used a wedge which helped to prop her head up to ease breathing ( if you don't have a hospital bed) There are medications that can be given to decrease oral secretions- ask hospice. We also asked for oxygen to help ease her breathing.

We would also give my Mom oral morphine when we turned her- she would call out sometimes with turning so this helped her comfort level.

We would talk with her and hold her hand. Telling her we loved her and not be afraid. We often would say the rosary which is something that brought her comfort in the past. We did bring her bed into the living room so we could be always around her.

As the previous person noted, it is a privilege to be with a person as they leave this earth. My Mom left us quietly early in morning. We were blessed for the opportunity to care for her and be with her as she left this world just as she was with us as we came into this world long ago.

Hope this helps- my thoughts are with your Grandpa and your family.