Prejudice words

MerriMom

I invited my dad to watch his game shows with me in the living room. We watched The Price is right. He said that it’s not the one he watches.  It’s the new one with Drew Carry.  He said that it’s run by the blacks nThen we watched Let’s make a deal. He said that it’s run by the blacks. It’s the new one with Wayne Brady. He saw a white woman with a black man and said “Yuck!”  Then there was a woman in a blowup princess costume. He said “Wow!”  I said there’s a fan in the suit. He said “There’d better be, as big as she is!”  Do I say anything, or do I ignore him?  I just tried to respond to his comments by stating the facts. I just told him that these are the new hosts, and that a black man hosts Let’s make a deal now. And I told him that the woman’s suit had a Dan, and she’s not really that big. What else can I do?

SusanB-dil

There really isn't anything you can do.  Do not try to reason with PWD, it will only lead to frustration - and not only with tv shows. All you can do is either give brief answers, or agree, or change the subject.  This gets easier with time.

jfkoc

Not easy but let it go.......

Quilting brings calm

The reason Sophia Petrillo had no filter on the Golden Girls is because it’s a truism.  

My MIL was born in 1932 and grew up and was an adult in a state with discriminatory laws about things like fountains and busses.  She eventually lost a lot of her prejudices or had at least hidden them by the time I met her.  However, by the time she was 75, It was all back,  she made the same kind of statements you reference.  We stopped taking her to restaurants because she’d talk about the other customers and the waitresses, etc.  She  was  also very loud about her distaste for overweight people, including me and her grandson. 

My parents are a few years younger than her, but they became the same way about skin color in the past 20 years.  They just were less vocal in public places. 

It appears to me a combination of having no filter, resentment about their own lot in life - none of them were ever  more than working class( although FIL and MIL did save for retirement ) , none of them had a high school diploma.  All were from non diverse towns growing up.

There’s nothing you can do to change their minds,  

abc123

Dear Merri, I’m so sorry about his behavior. It’s one of my most unfavorite dementia behaviors. I absolutely hate it. My grandfather occasionally behaved that way. Usually he was in a bad mood and was just being downright mean on those days. I always gave him a good fussing! Such as, SHAME on you PawPaw! You were not raised to be mean and hurtful. You are embarrassing me!!! Most times it worked! 

I’m sorry you have to be a caregiver at such a young age. I hope you are able to enjoy your marriage and your children. I wish you the best.

Emily 123

Yes, let it go.  This helps explain ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BlZF_4EKp4

WindyY

Oh, my mom has become horrible with this language too.  I just ignore it but also don't take her out in public much

Chammer

I am unable to open the you tube video, so may be repeating it.  Teepa Snow addresses forbidden words, social chat, rhythm, music in a You tube video and a blog on her website.  It helped me understand my MIL and her what I thought was a lack of social filter.  It is part of the disease process.  It doesn't make it more tolerable in public but it helps you understand what is actually happening.

MerriMom

I watched this video. Thank you!

MerriMom

I had to copy the link and paste it in YouTube.