Fixation on a person?

Naobe

Hi.  I'm brand new to this forum. I'm a 39 year old caregiver of a 83 year old.   Her diagnosis is incomplete at this time.   Now my question:   She is constantly in fear that the rest if the family is trying to keep her from me and is obsessed with knowing where I am, even if I just go to the RR.  I love her dearly and spend at least 12 hours a day with her but I can't breathe.  Is anyone familiar with this kind of fixation?  I can't find any coping strategies online with how to deal with this, please help!!!?

-Danny

Unknown By Man

My mom is this way, her doctors told me it is common. I essentially M viewed as her anchor and when I am not around she starts to go adrift. I personally have not found an ideal coping strategy either.

Mlewis501

My mom did this with me.  She wanted me to be with here 24/7.  I work and just could not do this.  My husband said when I would leave her, it reminded him of dropping a child off at school or daycare and they would throw a fit for their mom.  I think our love ones know the person they feel safest with and they want that person.  It is hard - no solutions... just take it one step at a time.

Fairyland

My mom is the same age with MCI, I think it’s vascular, and was like this with me too.  After a couple of months of me working from home and being around her almost all the time, plus taking some of the stress off her like making decisions and keeping her on a dependable schedule, she got a bit more confident. But I’m still the anchor.   She was stepping on my heels whenever we went out but wouldn’t walk beside me, I had to resign myself to it and learn not to get annoyed, but to my surprise she stopped that eventually - I think it’s confidence that I am here for her, or forgetting I haven’t always been a fixture lol! -but I wouldn’t  count on that happening, I feel very lucky.

YOU may get used to it, or find ways to cope, more likely than she will be able to stop.  It’s rough.

I wonder for when you need to go out, maybe you could make some kind of YouTube of yourself for her to watch, or a recording of you reading a book, or something like that- maybe a cardboard cutout, or a pillow with you printed on it! This is not entirely a joke, actually.