Happy Birthday ?

Crushed

My birthday is at the end of January.  12 years ago we were in Thailand on a scuba diving trip. DW had just been moved from chief of system development to the senior medical advisor in her field for the whole agency.   It was a promotion but she was still irritated. However it meant she could finally take real vacations and be "out of touch"  for more than a few days at a time.  
She had promised me this trip for 15 years. She would finally take her annual leave. Our second daughter was getting married later in the year.  DW was beautiful and loving and life was totally golden.  There are no secrets on a dive boat but that did not bother her. 

In September 2010 she failed the clock drawing test and clearly had cognitive impairment.  I knew it was Alzheimer's and the life we had planned was over.  She was 58.  

 We did not go gentle into that good night.  But it still hurts beyond belief
I made sure she got chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream  

 On my 21th birthday in 1972 she gave me a warm hat.  She thought I needed one.    
  
  
 Dylan Thomas - 1914-1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
 
 

loveskitties

Happy Birthday.

Remember the good times to help ease the sorrow of today.

NW_Mike

Our loved ones have been robbed of the great memories so it's up to us to preserve and cherish them.

I am relatively new to this journey. My DW's troubles started about 6 years ago. We didn't get the "official" diagnosis for another 3 years, but by then I already knew what was happening. For a couple years, I'll admit, I often had my own private little pity party, thinking of all the things we had planned but would never do. Intellectually I knew that was just a road to depression but it still took a while for me to shake it off, dig into the life I have now and be grateful for the many blessings we have enjoyed.

Over 44 years of life together have given me many great memories of lives well lived. Yes, it is always painful when she doesn't remember our great grandkids or doesn't recognize any of the scores of photos depicting our many years together. Yet, I do have those memories and I'll do my best to keep them alive as long as I am.

Sincere best wishes to you on your birthday.

Stuck in the middle

Happy birthday, Crushed.  Have some cake.

Stuck in the middle

My wife still knows my birthday is in the fall.  After answering the question "When is your birthday?" every couple of days from mid-October on, November 14 finally arrived.  She was disappointed she wasn't able to shop for me, so I went to town and bought a bulky cable-knit sweater and a cake.  From her to me.  And I got cards from a couple of old friends and my stockbroker.

I have had better birthdays, and I have had worse.  The worst was the 49th, which I spent arranging a younger brother's funeral.  

I just try to enjoy every day for what it is.

Donr

Happy Birthday Crushed. Remember the good days

Joydean

Happy birthday Crushed, just keep the good memories alive!

Davegrant

Happy Birthday. Thanks for sharing.

Pam BH

Happy birthday, Crushed. I hope somebody bakes you a cake. The bakers rarely have someone bake for them.  Cherish your memories with your wife

Crushed

I was deciding whether to make baked or fried chicken 
Baked is healthier but
my brain started singing


" 

It's my party, and I'll fry if I want to
fry if I want to
fry if I want to
You would fry too, if it happened to you

 

  I could not get the tune out of my head or stop laughing  

Buggsroo

Crushed,

You fry away, after all your birthday comes once a year. Happy birthday by the way.

toolbeltexpert

Crushed wrote:

I was deciding whether to make baked or fried chicken 
Baked is healthier but
my brain started singing


" 

It's my party, and I'll fry if I want to
fry if I want to
fry if I want to
You would fry too, if it happened to you

 

 

I could not get the tune out of my head or stop laughing  

 

 

 Love that song and fried chicken.

jfkoc

so which did you make?

what time is dinner?

and

I will bring ice cream ... vanilla since I know not the cake flavor

Jo C.

OH NO!!!  Wait, wait . . . . !   Am I too late for the party???    I was bogged down carrying all the goodies for the celebration . . . . well; here we go anyway . . . .   BIG Happy Birthday sign; lots and lots of balloons; confetti, lots and lots of confetti, hats to wear, those paper rolled whistles - whhhhhpt, plllllllt, wheeeeep, thhhhuppt(uh-oh, broke mine); cake, a BIG cake and ice cream LOTS of ice cream . . .and music . . . (and more cake) . . . . everyone is here! Look, there is jfkoc; and Ed - Hi Ed, (more ice cream) . . . M1 . . . Gig from the Harbor . . .Joe C. . . . and Mike, and Bugsaroo . . . and Pam . . . and so so many more I can't keep up with all of them coming through the door - YAY!!!! - more confetti!  . . . (more cake) . . . . everybody is here . . . . time to sing . . . .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CRUSHED, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

(P.S.:  We promise to clean up the aftermath.  Sorry about the scratches on the furniture from folks dancing on top of it . . . I think the Irish Jig is what did it.)

Joydean

Crushed I sure hope you enjoyed that party Jo C planned! It was fun, the cake was wonderful and all the ice cream, but I never saw that fried chicken! 

Gmom28

I totally get the forgetting once special days. A few years ago, was our 40th wedding anniversary a day in which my DH didn't remember. Every Christmas he would buy me a Jim Shore figurine to add to my collection. That too has gone away. Our daughter and I share the same birthday, when we celebrate that he only thinks it's her birthday. Valentine's Day is coming up, he always bought me a card and flowers. I hate to ask my children or Grandchildren to get something for him to give me. It may upset him. I do continue to make a big deal about his birthday every year. This is all part of this horrible disease.

abc123

Sending good wishes for a happy birthday to a cool dude and a great husband. The stories you share about DW remind me what it was like to be passionately in love. Thank you for that.

Jo C.

So . . . . . how went the day and how went the chicken?

piozam13

Happy Birthday Crushed.  Celebrate and enjoy.

Make sure you give yourself a treat.  I always treat myself on special occasions - or I make excuses to give myself a treat.  

Crushed

In the end we had a massive change in plans and carry in chinese at my daughters house with all five grandchildren.   Great fun .  the three older grandchildren  sang for me  a song they wrote

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you

 Happy Birth day dear Grandpa  
 Next year you're 72 

 They explained that they didn't have anything that rhymed with 71..... Priceless
 

  

David J

Happy Belated Birthday, Crushed! Sorry I missed the party!

jfkoc

take away Chinese and grandchildren....always a good time!

Ed1937

There's nothing like family.

Mrs. O

Hello old friends,   I am visiting this site after a 2 yr. break.  My DH passed away (Lewy Body Dementia) just over 2 yrs. ago.  I still recognize many of your names... after reading thousands of posts from Crushed, jfkoc, Ed, etc.   I just wanted to say that a little bit of my self remains here with this group that sustained me through the difficult years.  I have not forgotten you.  I am supporting you from a distance.  We share a bond that others can not possibly understand.  Hang in there.... all of you.  You are precious!    From Mrs. O.

White Crane

Sorry I missed the party but still want to wish you a very Happy Birthday, Crushed!  The Chinese food and being with grandchildren sounds wonderful.