The importance of acting

Ed1937

This is mostly for people new to the game. It is really important to put on a good face for your LOs because they will pick up any little signs of anger or negativity in your body language. If they do, your job becomes much harder. So if they're giving you a hard time, do your best to make jokes or otherwise lighten the mood. Do not argue if possible.

Here's another twist on acting. No doubt we will all lose our cool at some point. Then we feel bad. It is human nature. Yesterday morning my wife was refusing to change her incontinence pull ups, even though she wore them for 11 hours in bed. I told her they needed to be changed, but she kept refusing, time after time. Knowing where this was headed, and before I became angry, my acting kicked in. I acted like I was really getting angry, and told her I had enough of her sh--. I grabbed her hand, and told her to get up because she was going to change whether she liked it or not. She complied. But the thing is that I was never angry, and did not have to live the aftermath of really losing it. I felt great, and the job was done. Hone your acting skills. Try to keep the mood light.

toolbeltexpert

Ed1937 wrote:

Ed that is really good advice, cause I hate when I lose it. I have no excuse cause my brain is working.  Tough love Ed tough love glad it worked. 

DrinaJGB

When DH was still in facilities after his near death viral encephalitis it had changed him into a belligerent, whiney monster.He would yell and even throw things.

  The therapists were fed up with him. One day I was off on the sidelines watching his behavior during his therapy session when one of his doctors approached me. He looked at my husband in therapy and then asked me "have yo ever heard of the term tough love?", to which I replied yes. He said" that is what it's going to take to save his life". He was finally discharged home but in deplorable condition. He was wheelchair bound and completely incontinent. He remembered nearly nothing of our life together for 30 years.

He refused to try to stand up much less walk. He liked to slide out of the wheelchair or bed or sofa onto the floor and scoot rather than try to walk. It was terrifying.The therapists would leave the house exasperated after so many botched sessions amounting to a battle of wills.

Then one day while he was on the floor refusing to try to get up-- I started singing Badge by Blind Faith---the line that goes:"You'd better get yourself off from the ground before they bring the curtain down"--smiling the whole time.He responded to music and stopped fighting.

  I then helped him get up from the floor with the aid of his walker and encouraged him to take a few steps. He hesitated, but finally complied.Day after day we did this and each day he walked a little farther until he was not in the wheelchair or using the walker. I rather believe he may have died if he had continued to refuse.

The things we do for love.

dj

Ed1937

Drina, that's great. Sometimes we just have to think out of the box, as hard as that is.

David J

Drina- Thanks for the ear worm. The Cream version is now playing in my head.

Paris20

I call it my mom-of-a-toddler voice. Of course it works for dads too. Despite being out of practice for decades, I reached into my parental past and came up with the tone of voice that clearly communicated my serious intent to all within earshot. When my husband stubbornly refuses to get out of bed or won’t come to the table to eat, I whip out that voice and he complies. I’m reminded of the old series and books, «Rumpole of the Bailey.» He referred to his wife as «She who must be obeyed.» When I bring out that Mom voice, my husband listens. I always have to hold in my laughter.

DrinaJGB

All I know is it's a good thing Clapton or WInwood never heard me singing to DH. They would have cringed and run away screaming.....

abc123

LOL Drina! Me too!

Beachfan

I’m with Paris.  Prior to placement, I often used my mom-of-a-toddler, former-classroom-teacher voice with DH.  And it worked.  Sadly, that approach is out of style for many of today’s parents.  I love my grandkids, but they don’t eat cereal in bed here, they don’t help themselves to treats without permission here, they do put stuff away here; I respect them and they respect me.  But some things are not negotiable.  Their parents, my own grown kids often say, “Why do they listen to you so quick - -?” Duh…..