Terrified(1)

Jennkidd

I don't even know how or where to start but I've been trying to manage this alone and well I feel like I fail my mom everyday and I do .

I Just can't keep up and she is the most important person in my life I'm divorced no kids 52 she has been my biggest cheerleader and the only one 8 believe that ever believed in me and she has been a strong independent role model and I'm failing her as a care taker and I don't know what to do

Cyndisaunt

I have definitely felt the same way.

Know you are not alone. 

Hugs

M1

Hi Jennkidd, feelings of inadequacy are common to all of us in the face of this terrible disease. I bet its not as bad as you think, we are all our own worst critics too. This forum has definitely helped me learn to be a better caregiver. Tell us more about your mom and why you're worried, there are lots of kind, experienced, generous folks here who will be glad to help. Read a lot of threads and you'll learn a ton. I know from your post that you are grieving losing the mom you knew; we can all identify with the pain of that too.

sandwichone123

Jenn,

That feeling of failing is not about you--it's about the disease. Your love and care for your mom shine through. Keep posting and reading here and look at some of the other recommendations when they get posted. You can develop better skills for coping but you can't make things really "better" in the way we want to. We can just cope and help our loved ones cope.

my3sons2.0

I'm sure you aren't giving yourself enough credit. My mom and I were always very close and I was so grateful to be able to care for her. But it can be overwhelming. Its ok to ask for help. Your mom is blessed to have you.

SusanB-dil

agreeing with the other posts - you are probably doing a lot better than you think.  You care, and that is more than some PWD's have! Please check the 'solutions' tab at the top - and I understand there is a call-in number available.

harshedbuzz

Jennkid-

I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad you knocked on our little clubhouse door.

How, exactly, do you feel you are failing? Sadly, one of the most brutal aspects of this disease is the reality that sometimes safe is the only goal we can meet in care as the disease makes some happy elusive. It's important to accept that this is not a solo gig; a single person can not do the work of 3 teams of well rested professionals. And it goes without saying that love and meticulous care can not overcome the damage the disease is doing.

HB