Wants to be in bed 16 hrs a day

splashlanding

Mom was diagnosed 3 years ago and has been on Aricept ever since. If we have an activity that requires she be up and moving around (such as one of our small family gatherings) she can manage to stay awake and function almost normally the entire day. Some days, she will go for a short walk with me, take a leisurely ride, or stop at the pharmacy with me to run an errand. Most days, though, she gets up after noon and wants to go back to bed after her “breakfast”. She will stay there, sometimes simply resting other times actually sleeping, until mid to late afternoon. Once she gets up, she is alert and well rested. Bedtime is always 10 pm. She will “read” for a couple of hours before falling asleep. My concern is that if Mom doesn’t move around any more than this she will become unable to walk before too long. It would be a shame to see her become bedridden while she is still able to enjoy activities. Do you suggest pushing a little for her own good or letting her set her own pace?

towhee

Welcome to the boards, Splashlanding. I completely understand your concern about your mom losing the ability to walk. That is one of the things that can lead to placement. Have you discussed this with her doctor? If you can not get her out, you might try a little more walking inside the house, and/or some chair exercise with music.

Stuck in the middle

If you can keep her on her feet two hours per day, she probably will be OK as far as activity goes.  My wife doesn't sleep all day, but she sits most of it, and that is a problem.

splashlanding

Thanks so much for your replies.  After reading some other posts, I realize that we are not alone.  Many days, she doesn't want to get up or she wants to go back to bed because of a headache, a backache, her knees hurt, etc.  I guess I am a little confused since some days she is up and at 'em going out of the house and participating like a healthy person and others not so much.  When Mom is up and about, she tends to sit for as long as I will allow.  So, when she is ready for more water or it is time to take medicine I do not wait on her.  It's a great excuse for her to get up and move.  Her evening snack is not delivered to her either.  If she wants a goodie, I ask that she help me in the kitchen.  All these little things add up, but when she does walk through the house she "wobbles" to the side for a step or two occasionally.  She complains about feeling weak quite often.  I'm concerned that she will fall if she doesn't keep her legs strong.  We brought out a rolling walker last night and she refuses to use it.  Says there is nothing wrong with her ☺.

Whyzit

I had the same problem with my DH. Now that he is participating in day care twice a week, he is doing better. I would encourage you to see if there is one nearby. My husband goes because he believes he is volunteering.

Iris L.

How old is your mom? Does she have arthritis?

Iris L.

splashlanding

She is 86 and occasionally complains about her hands aching from arthritis.  Her left knee was replaced years ago.  She complains about both knees aching almost daily.  We have her using Voltarin and Tylenol, which keep things at bay.

M1

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and argue to let her do what she pleases. At 86, that’s what I would want. Getting her up may be spitting in the wind in the battle for loss of function, it’s kind of inevitable. Fine line, I understand.

splashlanding

I agree.  After reading some of the posts I realize that she isn't always in bed sleeping.  She may just need time to clear her mind or try to organize some thoughts in a quiet space.  Interestingly, we did let her get up in her own good time yesterday.  She was in good spirits but more confused than usual.  She ended up falling last night (all's well) right after we had offered her the walker.  Very upsetting for her.  She's concerned about being a burden.  Of course, I reminded her that when she cared for her own mother she never once thought of her as a burden and was happy to do what she could for her.  That calms her down until she forgets the entire conversation a few minutes later...

Cyndisaunt

I found with my 83 yo father who passed last year after 10 years living in a similar state that he would sleep more and more. My theory is the disorientation can be a lot to take so sleeping is an escape from trying to figure out where he is and what he should be doing or what someone is talking to him about. 

My aunt who is 73 has days when she sleeps more than others. On the days she is up and around I move her out to walk or ride her recumbant bike which she loves. 

She also denied the walker is for her, but I left it sitting out of the way by the back door then one day she started using it all the time. The one she has includes a seat and back rest so she can sit down anywhere inside or outside. Especially helpful when we grocery shop or sit around at the doctor in those uncomfortable chairs. 

Welcome and keep the questions coming. I love to read about what everyone is doing to keep the LOs entertained and the solutions. 

hugs,

Cyndi

ladyzetta

Your Mom is 86 years old, bless her heart. Just keep her comfortable with lots of love is about all you can do. This will make life easier for both of you. I vote for letting her go her on pace. Take care, Zetta