I think Mom does not recognize home anymore

Smyles7720

I don’t know how to handle mom’s new behavior/decline. 

I think Mom is beginning to forget the rooms in our home.  (This is the only home Mom, Dad and the entire family has known for over 40 years). Several months ago when mom was in the living room I told her dinner was ready and I proceeded to walk out the room, she said don’t leave me. She has repeated this several times, but I thought she wanted company.  However, last night after helping her get ready for bed I was putting  something in the extra bedroom (Mom calls it the spare bedroom) and Mom asked, where are you  going? I replied the spare bedroom she said, I don’t know where that is.  At bed time Mom says it’s time to go home it’s getting late. She does this during dinner time, but it never continued into bedtime before. 

Is all of this Sundowning or is Mom’s  inability to recognize her home feeding I need to go home at bedtime? How do I help Mom if it is she can not recognize home anymore?

I don’t know what to do. 

M1

Yes its agonizing Smyles. My partner built this house, literally, but she forgets parts of it that are used less frequently and mixes up different outbuildings on the property (asked me yesterday if we have a chicken house, for instance, which she also built). It makes her increasingly anxious; the Seroquel recommended for your moms sleep may help with this too, and the sundowning.

spirit97x3

My wife is in late stage 6 Alzheimer's. She also uses the words, I want to go home, even tho she's already there. It took me a while to figure out that most times when she says that, she wants to go to bed. Sometimes she has said it meaning she wants to pass on to see her mom and dad and family that have already passed on. It's like she knows something isn't right and Is suffering mentally trying to sort things out. Breaks my heart so much seeing her this way and just trying to understand. Most times tho, she just wants to go to bed. Can be like that from about 2pm until bedtime at night. She also points a lot when she's trying to tell me what she wants and I just ask her to show me. Not sure if this helped or not?

mommyandme (m&m)

spirit97x3 realized the same thing as what my mom did at the later part of stage 6. 

She did say she wanted to go home and 85% of the time she meant she wanted to go to bed. 

For me, every time a new behavior shows up I’m caught off guard.  It takes me time to process the best way to manage, but I eventually get it.  I’m the one that has to adjust, wish I’d remember that each time, maybe I’ll eventually get that too. 

Sorry for all of our struggles. 

GothicGremlin

Sadly, this all sounds familiar.  At first my sister couldn't find the shower, and then some weeks later she couldn't find the bathroom at all.  Making matters worse is that she's lost so many words (she also has primary progressive aphasia), that I need to be able to distinguish one little white thing from another little white thing. One might be a roll of paper towels, the other might be the toilet roll holder.  I've gotten really good at word association. 

She's in memory care now, which is ... nicely contained? She can't find her way from her bedroom to the living room/dining room.  It's probably 15 steps away from her room. 

I feel much the same way as m&m -- each new behavior throws me off, and then I need to quickly adapt.  I've gotten better at that too.  sigh

Smyles7720

Thank you everyone for your comments as I walk this journey of caregiving.

M&M you expressed so clearly what I felt and am still feeling.

I will adapt, but for now I can’t shake off the sadness.