Wants to leave(1)

JulieB46

My DH is now afraid of our beautiful, comfortable home because he has hallucinations and delusions about people being in our yard and our home.  It’s probably his main fear now, and he says he wants to get the f out of here several times a day.  I tell him it’s our home and we are safe, and we aren’t going to move. I am doing everything in my power to support and take care of him.  I tell him everything is fine, but I am getting tired of him constantly saying he wants to leave.  He has no idea how much easier my life would be if he was not here.

Camoruso

Yep, I get that every day numerous times! Drives me crazy. When I get tired of it I say "OK, bye!" It doesn't help but nothing does.

[Deleted User]

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Stuck in the middle

Julie, is your husband on any antipsychotic medications?  Meds can sometimes make the hallucinations and delusions go away, and make life better for both of you.

Rick4407

Hello Julie, you should talk to his neurologist about anti-delusional medications.  My DW takes low doses of Seroquel twice a day.  They eliminated the delusions.  

You are probably close if not already at the point of no more driving.  Again this should be discussed with his neurologist.  

If you do not have a neurologist, you should seek an appointment as soon as possible.  It is usually difficult to get into see one on short notice.  He can eliminate other causes of the confusion.  Good luck, Rick

Joe C.

Julie, I went through something similar with DW 2 years ago except she believed that the people were there to hurt or kill us. The only thing I could do to calm here down was take her for a ride & since it was winter and the early days of Covid all we could do was drive around. This solution was not sustainable because she would want to leave all times of day and night and I was getting exhausted. I spoke with her neurologist and she prescribed Seroquil to deal with the delusions, it worked miracles. It took 3 to 4 weeks for the medication to start to work but the delusions & fears subsided, overtime we need to tweet the dosage as I noticed her agitation increasing. Another thing I learned during this period was that once recognition of the home has gone that it was a fools errand to try to convince DW that it was our home. I started referring to it as MY house if she asked, she was fine with that answer but saying it was our home just made her upset.

Marta

I was stunned to read your last line; did not reply until time had passed. 

Indeed, all of us would have easier lives if our loved ones with dementia were not around. 

I do understand that this statement came from frustration. 

Definitely get him on some antipsychotic meds. 

Also, read Understanding the Dementia Experience from Google. Imagine you were he. 

Pat6177

I attended an online ALZ support group for the second time today. One of the stories told was that a PWD was complaining of noises outside. Finally, the spouse told her that the noises were from the security guards that he had hired to protect them. It worked for her and she never complained of the noises again. Maybe a similar fiblet would help your DH?

Ed1937

Here's the link Marta was talking about. http://www.dementiacarestrategies.com/12_pt_Understanding_the_Dementia_Experience.pdf