Spiritual Help

HeartOnSleeve2210

Hello again. This isn't so much needing advice as just needing a safe space to vent with people who are in a similar situation. I am a Christian and I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for everything and He works everything out for the good. It's taken awhile, but I have finally come to terms with my Grandfather having Alzheimer's and their being some kind of good that can come out of it. But recently, as I've mentioned, he slipped and fell and broke his hip. The anestesia from the surgery has made it worse and he's had multiple episodes of confusion and agitation in the rehab center he is in. I hate seeing him this way, and I hate seeing him suffer. I broke down and sobbed tonight because I don't understand why it is happening to my Grandfather. He is the strongest, bravest person I know. He's my hero. And to see him suffering, when I've been taught my whole life that God is good and God loves us makes me so very angry with God. I can't help but wonder if he's making my Grandfather suffer to punish us for something, even though my own faith tells me that's not right. But wouldn't it be more merciful for Him to just call my Grandfather home now? If He loves him so much, why is he letting my Grandfather suffer this way? I wish I understood and I wish I wasn't so angry, but as a Granddaughter, it is so very hard to see my Grandfather suffering everyday and be able to do nothing about it.

Anyway, thanks for listening. It feels good to get these feelings off my chest. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

harshedbuzz

It's written by a rabbi- so not a Christian-specific outlook- but I found it helpful for me.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People: Kushner, Harold S.: 8601419952182: Amazon.com: Books

May flowers

I can relate to your feelings. I have been reading the Psalms and it has been a comfort - David did not hold back with his feelings about all that was going on around him.

dayn2nite2

harshedbuzz wrote:

It's written by a rabbi- so not a Christian-specific outlook- but I found it helpful for me.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People: Kushner, Harold S.: 8601419952182: Amazon.com: Books

I also recommend this book and frankly, being with my mother when she died after taking care of her made me, who questioned sometimes, absolutely KNOW that God exists.

King Boo

The above is an excellent book.

God loves us.  But we are not chess pieces.  We have free will. 

Everything happens for a reason sounds good, but it is a very large oversimplification that will make you bitter if you attribute it to a deliberate action on God's part. 

  God did not wipe out the lives of 2997 people on purpose on 9/11, humans did.   And he watched this in great sorrow.

As Rabbi Kushner teachers, we can 'impose' a reason on the bad things that happen to us. 

Or, as in the Little House on the Prairie parents taught "There is no great loss without some small gain."

The dementia journey is a painful one with a lot of loss for us.

Along the way, we can encounter many examples of human grace and kindness. People of all races, ethnicities and religion doing God's work on earth. 

We must also confront our own mortality and that of our loved ones.   Letting go is hard.

There are gifts along the way.   Saintlike people and angels in disguise.

 Be angry at the disease.

Lord, give me strength to face what I must today.  Help me to find the soothing words, be a calming presence, to support my family.  I'm doubting, but I trust in you.  I have your gifts to do your work.

SusanB-dil

i too, agree with what's been posted...   yes, get mad at this disease and als, and ms, and others...   and yes, get mad at some things that have happened - at human hands...

just want to add that if at times we do get mad at God, and question 'why??'  I had a minister tell me at one time... God can handle that!

'Come, let us reason together says the Lord'.  Isaiah 1:18

And yes - it is hard to see a LO in this predicament, or in pain.  i don't think there would be anybody here that doesn't hate this insidious disease.

recent song: 'Weary Traveler'  Jordan St Cyr

Battlebuddy

   We had a Pastor at our church who had two sons born with Muscular Dystrophy. Both died early in their 30s. He preached a really great sermon on why bad things happen to good people. Basically he said there are things we  are just not going to understand in this life. Things we are not going to get an answer for here that will make sense to us. I think it’s ok to say “ I don’t know why this is happening “  I do see god in the midst of it, loving us. 

   My go to verse is “ Trust in the Lord with All your Heart and Lean not on your own understanding.” 

     

mommyandme (m&m)

My take on bad things happening under the loving hand of God is this:

He never said this life would be easy and perfect but he will stand with you during the good, bad and ugly.  Let Him provide the comfort and peace you need to cope and survive. Give Him your tears, anger, fear and frustration.  Through the storms He’ll be there for you AND your Grandpa. 

In this life, good, loving, caring and strong people suffer too…and… Grieving sucks!

Gotta go through your grief to get through your grief. Bring God into your grief. 

Hope you can feel some peace and comfort today. 

toolbeltexpert

I know you didn't ask for advice, you are pondering one of lifes biggest  questions.. I don't want to make a long post about my experiences, but I would first recommend Praying and asking God directly. You have not cause you ask not. Second I would keep your questions in mind as you go thru the day and especially as you read the Bible. When I read your post, a scripture came to mind, so I looked it up, it is Ecclesiastes 12. When I was a new Christian someone helped me to ask because God does care.  It sounds like your well grounded, but like us all we don't know everything, ask the one who does. I am not gonna say you'll get your light bulb moment but I pray you will know better by and by. Many times we have to walk a path we don't want to, as many here can attest. Remember Jesus walked a lonesome path. I'll pray for you.

jfkoc

The death of a loved one can really put you at odds with God. I remember vividly saying to God when my father dying that it was wrong. My whole belief system came into question. Yours may too.

If  God is omnipotent then there is no earthly way for us to describe God. Why do we try? No way to mold his actions.

You might find this helpful;

for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.  Matther 5:45

HeartOnSleeve2210

Thank you all for the input. As a Christian I get so afraid bringing thoughts like these up to others because I am so afraid of being judged for what I am feeling. I fear the anger I will get if I mention being angry with God. But the things you all have said make a lot of sense. I am putting too much of a black and white perspective on it. On my drive home from work today, I was thinking on it, and what made more sense to me is that it's not God punishing me, my family, or my Grandfather, but more that the devil is attacking me hard and hitting me where it hurts me the most: my family. And it's a hard pill to swallow. I'll do my best to let God bring me through this. Thank you again!

Stuck in the middle

The Bible tells us that the rain falls on the good and the wicked alike.  

I do not believe that the master of a billion galaxies would trouble to alter the rules that govern the universe just to punish me.  I also do not believe that He will do so for the benefit of a lone petitioner, confessedly unworthy. 

I pray for wisdom and strength.  I do not pray for specific outcomes, and I do not blame God for my troubles.

I am not attempting to debate what any of you believe.  I am just sharing my view of Christianity as I live it.

Joydean

It’s okay to voice your feeling, we all feel anger and pain and love and sadness. Your thoughts, God knows your thoughts , He knows all our thoughts. But if you love Him, He will walk beside you. No one has a right to judge you, we have only one judge, and that’s our Heavenly Father. God bless you and your family and grandfather!

Arrowhead

I believe that God does not cause these things to happen but that most of the time He allows things to happen. I believe most suffering is not designed for our benefit, but that we can choose rather or not to let it become a benefit to us.

DrinaJGB

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh--who was friends with Martin Luther King and nominated by King for the Nobel Peace Prize, and is historically recognized as the "father of mindfulness", and the main inspiration for engaged Buddhism states that:

  " there is no way to happiness; happiness is the way".

Another perspective. It's all how you perceive things.

  This is the only teaching I have found in many years that has actually helped me survive this journey.

Carry on--dj