Starting to panic

Neverends

Hello everyone, My mother is on the placement list  for the veterans home I worked at.  They have begun admissions  again. The list is going slow so it will be a while. I'm having panic attacks just thinking about placing her. Roles reversed as you all well know. I am her mother and she is my child.  It's just her and me with no help from my siblings at all. Not even a call. I really have no plan b in case I.kick the bucket. My health has definitely  taken a swan dive and her physical health has flourished.  I have to place her I am backed in a corner. I'm 62 years old and took an early  retirement  to care for her. She is going on 88 years old   I'm just so drained and no one gets it but the people who are in the trenches.  Another life altering decision I just hate this all the way around. 

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Marie58

I hope the wait isn't too long, for both your sakes. Some of you panic attacks may be due to caregiving stress and lack of a plan B, not just the thought of placement. Can you get some in home help or have her go to a day program while you're waiting for placement? I don't know much about VA benefits, but I know some vets receive help for a certain number of hours per week. I would also encourage you to get a plan B in place. Blessing to you and your Mom.

Ed1937

Neverends, there might be some type of local help for you. If you belonged to a local caregiver's group, you might get some good information about that. Often there are programs available to help, but they are not widely known. If you dig into that you might be surprised at what is available.