I am sure it has been said

toolbeltexpert

I hate altzhiemers. I hate what it does to the pwd and the care giver. Just want to scream it right now. My dw has a shoulder that hurts and has for  years. She take Ibuprofen for the pain. I give them to her and 5 minutes later she's got the bottle in her and dummy me says you just took one 5 minutes ago,NO I DIDN'T  off she storms. She starts cooking and couldn't  find the chicken that had thawed on the counter, when I heard heard getting frustrated, I asked if I could help, I am looking for the chicken, I found it in the pot on the stove, she doesn't  like when I try to learn how to cook and leaves all mad.  It is like no matter what I lose. I hate altzhiemers. Everything is better in 5 minutes till the next crisis.. it's never ending and it's  not  her fault. Rant over maybe I should change my user name.

Ed1937

I wonder if it would help if you told her that she's done enough cooking, and it's time to take a break? If you start cooking, I guarantee you can do it. If I'm getting by, anyone can. And we have a thread for easy recipes if you need them.

Jo C.

Good place to come and rant; I sure did my share during the worst of times and the wonderful people here were the ones that kept my head above water.  Sometimes it got so bad I felt that the top of my head would blow off with all the springs and bolts flying out and the only thing left being the cuckooo. 

I am so sorry; please do come and vent as often as you wish to, it is a safe place to do that and the best thing is, we will all completely understand.

As for the pill issue, I too ran into that.  What I did was to never, ever ignore pain complaints but my LO was like your wife; forgetting that a pain pill was taken and also seeking pain meds.  I never ignored complaints of pain and took them seriously, but like your experience ours was similar.

What I ended up doing, was taking an empty prescription med bottle, and placed TicTacs inside.  I would absolutely dispense the Advil or Tylenol, BUT then it was wanting more.  So; using a therapeutic fib, the TicTac bottle was a new prescription for pain pills from the doctor.   I left them where they could be seen and my LO could access them whenever the urge hit.   It worked like a charm.   I would always check to ensure I had not missed a real pain issue; I would ask how was the pain doing and was always told that the new pills were really good and the pain was gone.  No harm, no foul.

As for the kitchen thing; do you think you could wait and then when she is in a good mood complain to her that you are getting bored and need to learn to do something new like having a hobby . . . tell her what a good cook she is and you would like to learn from her; ask her if she would teach you how to cook so you can have a new hobby (or whatever would work.)  Perhaps she will then let you into "her" kitchen.   You can even make her laugh by putting on an apron and dancing a bit of a jig in her kitchen and perhaps getting her in a few dance whirls with you while laughing and "having fun." 

Just an idea or two; what works for one may not work for another.  I know that if my LO thought it was their idea and not mine, and if I used necessary therapeutic fibs we were good to go on some challenges.

Good luck and I so hope that you soon can wear the invisible chef hat you are trying to get in place.

J.

Joydean

Toolbelt,  I’m sorry your going through this. The kitchen thing, I believe you mentioned being in Tennessee, you know southern women do not allow men in their domain! I say that lovingly because I grew up there. But I do agree with the way Jo C approached the ideal. It doesn’t hurt to give it a try and the both of you just might get a few laughs.  Best of luck to you both.

abc123

Dear Toolbelt, I HATE this disease too! I HATE it! It has taken my mother from me and it has changed my dad forever. I doubt he will ever recover from the stress and the sadness. I'm only 62 years old and this disease has changed me in many ways. I'm sorry this is happening to you and your wife. I'm sad for everyone here on the forum. Please keep posting. Rant as much as you need to. The kindness and support I receive from others here has saved me. People here understand me more than my two siblings. We are a family here and we genuinely care about each other. 

I hope things get better in the kitchen. There are so many ways she could hurt herself while trying to cook. Good luck!

Arrowhead

Do not let her control her own medication. She will take it when she doesn't need it and forget to take it when she needs to. This was my wife's pattern before I took over giving her medication to her. I think the TicTac idea is a good one. 

My wife was a great cook and she loved to do it. Luckily, she had no problem letting me take over. I fix a lot of Hamburger Helper and other boxed dinners. For meats, I use a toaster oven and a remote meat thermometer. 

toolbeltexpert

Thanks everyone. I am gonna have to try the placebo thing does any one have something other than tic tacs I am afraid she might figure that out? Over the last month. I have been making  breakfast wihich at our house is either box cereal or bagel and fruit cocktail every now and the she makes suasage and gravy. Which is getting harder to keep everything in order. Yes I can cook, I have watched dw cook and that is her identity. She hates that she's losing it and so do I. She made the best new York style cheese cake  ever.  I miss that.  I want to do some of the dishes she used to make but that's like a trigger for her. So it's gonna be frozen pizza and ice cream. I get 10$ every week and amazingly she hasn't  gain any weight if anything she lost some. My lousy cooking lol.  There are just so many things she does and 5 minutes later goes to do it again. Feeding the birds is one of those things. 60 $ a month just for seed. I have started a fib that I just feed them, she gets mad cause that's her job. I thank everyone for all the ideas. I might even do the apron but I am not gonna post any pictures.

Stuck in the middle

toolbeltexpert wrote:

 I might even do the apron but I am not gonna post any pictures.

Thank you for that! 

Jo C.

Ah shucks; I  thought it might be really cute . . . . !

J.

jfkoc

Put the bird feed in 7 baggies....days of the week written on them. She wants to feed? You say lets see if that has already been done.

Cheese cake? Please do whatever you can to learn how to make that. A good recipe for it i hard to come by. Other food? Perhaps ask her if she has some time to teach you how to make something. Tell her that she always looks so happy cooking that you would like to do it with her.

NOTE; please thaw the chicken in the frig not on the counter...lol

toolbeltexpert

jfkoc wrote:

Put the bird feed in 7 baggies....days of the week 

Thanks for your your idea about the bird food gonna have to try that.

Here is the part of making of cheese cake that really gives it the texture after cooking 2 plus hours and cooling take it out of spring form pan put it on a cake plate put it in the refrigerator and let it sit 3 days. Believe me 3 days is a long  time but you won't  be sorry. I almost have the recipe and ingredients in my head.  Yep your right about thawing the chicken.  2 years ago on Thanksgiving day  she was gonna cook a turkey. She got so frustrated try to figure out how to cook it, I pulled it out of the fridge cut the plastic open and said this turkey is bad it stinks, threw it in the trash problem solved. She used to make so many fancy dishes, me cooking is a trigger, I have been trying to get her to teach me, but that always ends badly. Maybe the apron will do the trick! 

Joydean

From tool belt to apron! Can’t beat it! As family we deserve a picture!

toolbeltexpert

Joydean wrote:

From tool belt to apron! Can’t beat it! As family we deserve a picture!

You made me laugh. I was a maintenance supervisor in a large factory and toolbelt was my nickname. I wore it almost all day everyday as did the the guys who worked with me. My dw have always had the apron. I haven't  figured out how to add a picture to a post so no pictures any time soon. 

Crushed

toolbeltexpert wrote:

Joydean wrote:

From tool belt to apron! Can’t beat it! As family we deserve a picture!

You made me laugh. I was a maintenance supervisor in a large factory and toolbelt was my nickname. I wore it almost all day everyday as did the the guys who worked with me. My dw have always had the apron. I haven't  figured out how to add a picture to a post so no pictures any time soon. 

When we got married I had a steam iron and my wife had a soldering iron.

 On our first house she could sweat pipe better than I could. She built my first computer.   She taught me how to drive a stick. 
She could not cook a lick.  My mother had told me "learn how to cook and marry a doctor"
That was my department   I gave all my engineering students the same advice. 
She became a brilliant world famous physician
  

 To add a picture there is a grey box that says attachments
 click on it
use browse to find the picture 
click attach and close

or go to your picture file and   COPY the picture and PASTE it here
using Control- V  (press CTRL and V at the same time

These are my Irish "O' Key lime pies "
  

 
 Picture files have to be small about 200kb or less

toolbeltexpert

Crushed wrote:

toolbeltexpert wrote:

Joydean wrote:

From tool belt to apron! Can’t beat it! As family we deserve a picture!

You made me laugh. I was a maintenance supervisor in a large factory and toolbelt was my nickname. I wore it almost all day everyday as did the the guys who worked with me. My dw have always had the apron. I haven't  figured out how to add a picture to a post so no pictures any time soon. 

When we got married I had a steam iron and my wife had a soldering iron.

 On our first house she could sweat pipe better than I could. She built my first computer.   She taught me how to drive a stick. 

That's so funny at least you know what it means "sweat a pipe" I do most of my posts from my smartphone which often results in poor Grammer and punctuation. I don't see the gray box on my phone. I'll have to try with my tablet. Your dw must have been a great companion.

Crushed

toolbeltexpert wrote:

Crushed wrote:

toolbeltexpert wrote:

Joydean wrote:

From tool belt to apron! Can’t beat it! As family we deserve a picture!

You made me laugh. I was a maintenance supervisor in a large factory and toolbelt was my nickname. I wore it almost all day everyday as did the the guys who worked with me. My dw have always had the apron. I haven't  figured out how to add a picture to a post so no pictures any time soon. 

When we got married I had a steam iron and my wife had a soldering iron.

 On our first house she could sweat pipe better than I could. She built my first computer.   She taught me how to drive a stick. 

That's so funny at least you know what it means "sweat a pipe" I do most of my posts from my smartphone which often results in poor Grammer and punctuation. I don't see the gray box on my phone. I'll have to try with my tablet. Your dw must have been a great companion.

I was an electrician's assistant as a college and summer job. In law school I was an engineering technician at NBS.  I was a Professor in Engineering.  I was a lawyer (teaching technical safety standards) so they assumed I was technical idiot but every so often, I surprised them.   I was the faculty mentor of a team that defeated Georgia Tech in a design competition.  That turned  a few heads  

Jo C.

Dear toolbeltexpert:  I vote for a photo with both the apron and toolbelt over it.

J.

Pat6177

TB, try doing a search on this forum for recipes. There have been a few threads where people have posted threads devoted to simple recipes. Most recent was a thread on recipes for the Instapot that Ed started after he received an Instapot for Christmas. I’m big on making casseroles and then freezing the leftovers in containers with 2 servings in it. Lots of recipes call for chopped onion and you can buy bags of frozen chopped onion or (in some grocery stores) you can buy fresh chopped onions in the produce dept. Maybe your DW will accept you cooking new things better than if you cook her recipes.

toolbeltexpert

well I finally convinced my dw that she needed to teach how to make my favorite comfort food, her mac and cheese. It was a battle, we had to find the recipe then we had to re find it several times. she let me do most of the making, it turned out well, except for the crispy edges. it has taken me several hours to figure out how to resize my cell phone pictures. but at last I have your reward for all your help. I told her next will be her cheese cake and she said I would have to do that on my own. I don't know if she got worn out trying to keep the steps in order it was so hard for her to move to the next step I felt like I had to move it along

Stuck in the middle

Cute apron!

Joydean

Like the apron and hey the Mac and cheese looks good too! Not burnt at all! So glad for both of you! What an accomplished! Love it. 

Elshack

Great accomplishment! Love the apron!