A Promise

Comrade

I promised my wife that our home will always be her "safe place" even as she has become more disabled. It is a promise I intend to keep. She cannot communicate other than through fear or need-based reactions, which I can address on the spot.

The decision by myself and her doctor to call Hospice has been a huge relief. They have swooped in with supplies, methods to communicate concerns and more. 

However, both my wife and myself are exhausted and for obviously different reasons.

I am grateful for her daughter and friends that visit, help with bathing and sometimes deliver food. But, it is me writing at 3:40 in the morning and me, who changes her Depends, gives medication and strokes her back to comfort.

I want to to say "the sad part", but there are too many "sad parts" to talk about. However, I will never regret being her caregiver and her husband.

toolbeltexpert

You may not have heard it enough. So I want to say thanks so much for your loving care you have given your DW.  It is so sad I know I am just behind you in this journey. So glad you got that vital help. I know how hard it is when we make a promise, I have the same thoughts and feelings of what if!  Well done.

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Stuck in the middle

It's a bumper sticker, but it's true:

To the world you are one person.  To one person, you are the world.

Hang in there, Comrade.  Your wife is fortunate to have you.

abc123

Please take good care of yourself! You matter too. I hate this disease for all of us.

May flowers

Your post brought tears to my eyes - God bless you for taking such good care of your DW. Your love for her is very evident in your posts.

ImMaggieMae

 Comrade, that is my plan too, but my DH is around stage 5/6. We were playing music on Alexa yesterday and this one came up from a playlist.  DH, who often doesn’t remember my name, sang along, remembering a lot of the words and it brought tears to his eyes. And then to mine. It made me think of what you wrote. Not all of them apply in the case of this horrible disease, but enough do. Actually, the lyrics can go both ways. 

You Needed Me, by Anne Murray

 https://lyricspond.com/artist-anne-murray/lyrics-you-needed-me

Comrade

Thank you.

Comrade

I am trying to take care of myself. Typically I go to the gym very, very early in the morning. The last month though, not so much. Mental exhaustion has started to creep in more and more.

Yes, I could go on auto-pilot, but I have been going to be more self-aware and fit.